An episode for those interested in lady things: periods, pmt, pms and sex with a dead granny's hand.

Not really from the viewpoint of females but there was a guy at the Sarah Everard vigil and he was a twat thinking they were behind him.

I've been on Pornhub (not starring) so many times I'm starting to feel like I know them.

I pretended I was dead for a few days on Social Media and no-one gives a fuck.

Larger (fat) people are strange animals and so are serial killers, but I know which one I'd rather be.

Disclaimer: Get over it.

Superman is urged to ditch his girlfriend because she's a bit Hitlery.

Horses scare me. I hope they don't grow meat-eating teeth (canines).

I don't suffer from wet dreams...I love them! x

Lockdown 1 and 2 haven't been kind to me, and now I have my own tits.

I exercised and went for walks during lockdown 1, but lockdown 2, I couldn't honestly be bothered, and it shows. I also have a small drive for 1 car outside my house with is like flypaper for arseholes. I've written a script for self-hypnosis which anyone can use, I did and fell asleep, but that might be my boring voice.

What's the difference between laziness and depression? Well, not a lot I don't think.

I'm in my bed with this one as I'm too lazy to go anywhere and even sitting up makes me depressed.

Gary Glitter used to write good songs until he decided fiddling with kiddies was more exciting.

It's SNOWING!!! Only it's the shite kind of snow that lies and then disappears overnight. A bit like a one night stand, only the snow doesn't steal your wallet.

It's been a really quiet week and to be honest with you I think my brain is dying. 7 minutes..it takes longer to boil a bloody egg (if you want it really hard boiled that is).

Disclaimer: I don't recommend you boil an egg for 7 mintues in the microwave it'll blow up. The egg that is, not the microwave. x

It's time for the Beast from the East to snow on us!!! No it's not.

There is no porn on Netflix! Is there a solution?

Jeff Bezos has a cock shaped rocket.

Small penis paedophiles should be killed at birth. Wonder Woman 1984 is sexier than Terminator (set in 1984), but won't know Oscar.

The Covid vaccine will be delivered with a mind controlling microchip that will make you less of a twat.

Kobra Kai inspired me to think about high end masturbation, and more..but not much more as you'll hear.