Coping on a fundamental level is what we do in our response to stress, trauma, challenges, etc. There are two basic ways of thinking about coping: 1) active or engaging coping strategies and 2) avoidant or disengaged coping behaviors.
Active coping is basically the willingness to address your challenges head on, whether that's internally or externally. This type of coping includes reframing the way you think, accepting what is going on, problem solving to figure out a solution and working toward regulating your emotions.
On the flip side, avoidant coping strategies is basically just that, avoiding it altogether. Having denial or wishful thinking is what this type of behavior looks like. It's basically the flight of the fight or flight phenomenon - you're fleeing the situation, you don't want to deal with it, you escape.
There are also two types of coping, inward or outward. Outward is to look toward the outside world to cope - doing things like working, helping the community, talking to others. Some negative outward coping behaviors could also look like:
- Taking out on other people
- Taking an action
- Argumentative
- Aggression
On the other hand, inward behaviors are just that - curling internally, not outwardly to cope with what you're facing. Types of behaviors could include:
- Binge watch tv
- Self care may look like sleep, eating. Reading, meditation, prayer
Escaping is also a way of coping, which I have turned to. Escape could be turning to alcohol, overeating, drug use to escape the situation and what's going on. But, ultimately, this doesn't resolve the issue and the trauma, stress, anixety, etc is still there. Escaping can be a dangerous road to take and often can lead to a very negative mindset, not making the situation any better.
I did this - I used to cope by drinking to escape. After a stressful day, when my son would go to bed, I would tell myself I deserved a glass of wine, I deserved it because it was tough. What I was really doing was escaping my emotions and challenges, which never went away, they were still there.
So, I ask you, what is the way in which you cope? Is it healthy?
Are you addressing the issue or avoiding it?
Are you making things better or worse?
Is how you're coping getting in the way of your goals?
I believe that awareness and understanding how you cope, and why you do what you do is the best place to start when thinking about these questions. Being aware will give you a foundation to start to identify what you need to change to live a more fulfilling, healthier and happier life in the midst of the challenges.
I also believe that short term pain will lead to long-term gain. Many people choose the escape route and to disengage because it's the easier path to take. Dealing with all that you're going through head on and engaging in it is not easier, it's harder, BUT, it will give you a path to freedom, a path to longer-term gain.
I hope this helps you. Please follow, share and comment and please share it with someone who may need to hear this message. Please follow me on Instagram @susanfink.rise and reach out to connect if you need help. I am a mindset and life coach and am here to help you push through your challenges to create a customized toolkit to help you.
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