After THOUSANDS OF YEARS, we return to drag our ancient carcasses toward the finish line of Season 2. Political machinations (do they count as machinations when they're really dumb?) are coming to a head, while at the same time we do some incredibly clumsy 11th-hour nonsense to try to make the Black Hood plot interesting again.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

Hold onto your butts, the actual plot of the TV show Riverdale has come back, after what really has amounted to NINE EPISODES OF FILLER, and, I cannot stress this enough, DURING A NETWORK TV SHOW WITH RATINGS ABOVE THREE MILLION AT THE TIME.

Please bother us at #RDARD on the tweeter.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

Luke Perry has passed away, and that puts this whole episode in a much more morose light than it otherwise would be. Hopefully the insanity that is the Riverdale musical episode(!) will serve to remind us of what is joyous and whimsical in life.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward, "Betty McFaddin" by Kevin MacLeod

Holy shit, even though this episode might be a bit weaker than those that bookend it, it makes for an action-packed episode of RDARD.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

Riverdale's back, baby!

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

This episode busts out the old soap opera playbook, and that badboy has color-coded post-it notes and well-worn pages by the look of it. There's no contrivance too unbelievable, no trope too over the top as this week's episode pursues its goal with single-minded determination:

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

This episode, Riverdale drops the pretense of having a plot for the middle of Season 2, for the most part, and just revels in being as teen trash as it can possibly teen trash. And my god, is this an improvement.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

This is very much an episode of two parts. On one hand, Riverdale calms the fuck down and actually focuses on advancing plotlines instead of just adding more nonsense that may or may not ever be seen or referenced again. On the other hand, Riverdale pulls a Machiavellian manipulation of audience expectations so incredibly devious that all three of your humble hosts are totally certain it was mostly by accident.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

We are pleased to present you with discussion covering an extremely puzzling episode of Riverdale. This thing is so very extra in so many ways, and at such odds with itself tonally, that none of us really know whether it's horrible or excellent. All we know is that we were captivated by the strangeness, like small, deep-ocean shrimp about to be eaten by an anglerfish.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward

This week, we continue the Riverdale Filler Extravaganza with an episode about wrestling, and an ostensible super villain gleefully belittling the masculinity of a literal teenager. We do a bit of stuff with Chic, but it's looking like while we're going somewhere with this, it's nowhere good.

Music: "Faded War Instrumental Version" by Josh Woodward