After playing Easter Poppa all weekend… We ask Asheville WHO IS THE BEST TV DAD? Tim Taylor? Al Bundy? Homer? YOU WILL NEVER GUESS OUR NUMBER 1!! For more pops advice we list the Mt Rushmore of tourists traps. Who stinks at your office? We’re talking a 9.7 on the stink meter kind of bunk funk. Is Vladdy Putin spying on your Bumble? Grab your glazed ham left overs and Air Force One pillow and fire up a frankfurter on your nearest radio tower. IT S A HORN HONKIN APRIL FOOLS DAY ON RIZZO AND JEFF- on 105.9 The Mountain.

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ON DECK THIS SHOW....
FIGHTING A BEAR, BOB DOLE VIAGRA AND HIS HAIR, HAPPY GILMORE FIGHTS WHAT GAME SHOW HOST AND SPEAKING OF WHY DOES BOB BARKETR HAVE A LEAKING STICK? ALL THAT PLUS, WHY IS THERE NO DAMN MEATLOAF!!!

Throw up your jazz hands and chicken dance at Britney s wedding! No, Abby's? How would conjoined twins celebrate a honeymoon? But keep an eye on that as they age bc elderly STI's are on the rise! But if your parents hooked up in Mid-Summer, GET NAKED AND FROG JUMP with the sweeds at their strange celebration. Gorge the IKEA Swedish Meatballs if you must. How do you celebrate Easter? The average American will spend $180 on gifts and Boston Baked Beans! Not a bean fan? Reba’s go to is Bull! How about Pop Tarts? Jerry Seinfeld has a STACKED movie coming out about the invention of those little Fruit Magoo’s. Have you met a Herkimer? Asheville has some SERIOUSLY dangerous intersections and we identify them with YOUR calls! Not just a Good Friday- but A GREAT FRIDAY with Rizzo and Jeff on 105.9 The Mountain.

Whoopi is an alien...She also hangs with the likes of Jenny Jones..Ricki Lake and Phil Donahue...So keep your eyes peeled...Thirsty? Quench that thirst with some hot dog seltzer from 7-11...Do you know who was thirsty? Punxsutawney Phil...He's a new daddy!! Hope he doesn't decide to visit Japan because he will have a problem getting diapers since they only seem to want to sell them to adults...Speaking of adults...60 yrs old on Onlyfans? Is that too old? Or should you let that freak flag fly...If that isn't your thing, how about bowling? That seems to be universally loved...Put on your rollerblades and head down to Jeff's weiner dog farm and turn on The Rizzo & Jeff Show for that and SO MUCH MORE!!

Happy Viagra Day on Rizzo and Jeff! Even Bob Dole came along to celebrate… ON THAT NOTE… A weiner connoisseur is needed to go ballpark to ballpark to see who has the best dog for your dollar. ONE dollar though doesn’t get you as much as before, just ask Dollar Tree and their $7 PRICE HIKE!! Strippers are still raking it in though, one state even adopted a Stripper Bill of Rights to make sure they get PAID. How long will it take for your job to forget you after you croak? 6 weeks MAX! Meatloaf complaints, Rizzo thinks he can fly above the eclipse, when he should be worried about THE BEAR in his front yard! What a satisfying viagra day.

Did Diddy do it? Let’s make sure you don’t do what Diddy did…He might be going away for a long time and he will surely get “sunshine guilt” …Does your stick leak? If so, the folks at The Price Is Right have a plan in place to clean you up…Keep those peepers peeled on the bushes this week as you drive around Asheville because the cops could be there…Think you could take on a bear? Well a big percentage of men do…If you’re not winning the fight just feed it some minestrone soup or Boars Head lunch meat…Do your best to avoid Yak’s…And remember the ultimate revenge on a foe is to open up a Korean BBQ restaurant!! For that and more check out The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Do you like butter? Scratch that. Do you LOVE butter?! Some of Ashevilles hottest places are serving it up BY THE PLATTER! One anonymous texter messaged in with quite the love of butter and the hate for screaming toddlers on planes. Should they be charged extra?! Since Bob Barker can’t make the sequel- who should Happy Gilmore sock in part 2? Steve Harvey? Phil McGraw? Wilkos?! Where could honey boo boo’s money possibly have gone?! Have you met a female Stu? Stuarta doesn’t have a shot. Vote for Literally Anybody Else and hang on to your Mickey Ears, and belt out some Carnie Wilson in the shower- It’s a Monday on Rizzo & Jeff!

Have you ever had an encounter with a "lot lizard" or "badge bunny?" Well, they may want to sniff your feet, which seems to be the bodily odor the folks of North Carolina enjoy the most! If you choose to go the dating route instead...Try a fanny pack...Maybe knee-high tube socks to score!...Have you ever made a Toobin on zoom? This poor woman made international news for leaving her webcam on during a funeral while she was in the shower...If you have a friend who chugs canned cheese by the gallon just make sure you don't out him in front of an entire city...Double check your crossbow so you don't wipe out a kid in the woods with an apple and check out The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!