Basically the Joe Exotic of Martial Arts, this Irish-American, faux Italian-named Spanish Count mastered the Japanese art of Karate. He claimed to have perfected the ancient, lost technique of Dim-Mak, or The Touch of Death, all while running a chain of bizarre Dojos, Playboy Bunny Hair Salon and hairy muff porn shops in the Chicago area.

The life of this extraordinary trumpet player takes us through the evolution of Jazz itself. From razor wielding prostitutes, to Chi-town mafioso, the cultural explosion of the Harlem Renaissance and abroad; Louis lived a fast life! But his bowels were even faster.

Scottish born Alexander Graham Bell was a mad genius in the science of sound, improving the telegraph, inventing the telephone (Maybe?) and by proxy the Dick Pic... But fuck did he hate those deaf people with their flailing sign language!

Victor Lustig could talk his way out of a fleshy hairy bag. This infamous cat burglar con many a man out of their fortunes including syphilitic sausage mobster Al Capone. This man was such a smooth talker he even 'sold' France's most iconic landmark, The Eiffel Tower, for scrap to some greasy baguette slurpin' mook.

Everything you know about the American Revolution is a LIE! This deadbeat revolutionary carefully crafted the mob violence that fueled the colonies fire for independence. The Sons of Liberty burned, looted, tortured, boycotted the city of Boston into a starvation.

Dave from Not For Human Consumption joins us as we roast Romanian pokey boy, Vlad the Impaler. While he may have not sucked blood, nor could he turn into a bat, this torture mirco-manager sure knew how to throw a BBQ

Capitalism gone WILD!!! Andrew Carnegie was not afraid to break up unions, scam his competition and make his workers' lives a living hell, but when it came to the ladies, he needed to check with his momma.

The Armenian heir to a rancid Meat Packing Company, yuppied his flaccid penis around LA's hottest nightclubs with his pal OJ Simpson. Everything changed when he met the teenager of his dreams and professional gold digger & cum dumpster Kris. And with that one of the largest cases of cultural brain drain had been unleashed on the world. The age of Kardashian had begun.

If there was one thing John Rom was good at, it was slicing open a man's nut sack and chucking in some XL goat nads to give him that sexual prowess he always deserved. Doesn't that sound hot?! Well it was all the craze during early 20th Century! This could be the strangest 'doctor' we've taken a look at on RMC!

Gandhi is credited as history's greatest peaceful pacifists, but historians are quick to dismiss his incredibly racist rhetoric. From a child with a sadistic hobby of twisting dog ears, to supporting apartheid, the holocaust, and Nazis Gandhi was a pretty sick dude. Later in life, he'd offer free enemas to his female followers and bragged about sleeping naked with his grand niece without giving in to the urge to slip it in.