Gaston B. Means, besides having a hilarious name, was an oaf. This lumbering jackass actually testified against himself in court. How do you do that? By robbing, cheating and stealing anything he could get his hands on under the guise of being a 'Private Eye'. Also known a dick!!!

We're not roasting one but three child star divas! Sadistic Alfalfa got joy from hurting fellow Little Rascals. Diff'rent Strokes, Dana Plato went from America's sweetheart to a drug-riddled pornstar. And Hollywood's Brad Renfro made it big and burned out quick.

Did Hollywood corrupt these little shitheads or were they just idiots with a spotlight?

The Great Swoonatra saga continues! Frank's flopping his Italian sausage all over Hollywood and Las Vegas, blundering his way through life like a giant man child. But when his life becomes intertwined with the Vega's mob things get surprisingly violent and dark. See how this meatball meets his end!

Swooning and crooning didn't come easy for Frank Sinatra, in fact he had the voice of a hoary marmot in heat and the temper of a spoiled baby meatball. While his mother was off performing basement abortions, Frankie was off slipping it in whatever he could get his fat marinara fingers on.

Alfred Latell, Travis' great-grandfather, was the original Furry! His red rocket toured the world performing for royalty and superstars. But all good things come to an end and Al's vaudeville act came crashing down as Hollywood took over

Little known Anthony Wayne was one of the shining stars in the Continental Army during the American Revolution. He singlehandedly secured the United States future and its expansion westward. He also banged almost all of his friend's wives and sisters, while completely ignoring his own wife, children and finances. You can only be so much of a hero...

Lord Byron slang his dick all over Europe banging boys, girls and close relatives. For those that he didn't poke directly, he wrote panty-soaking erotic poems while drinking a latte out of the skulls of his ancestors.

Jack Slade was the Western gunslinger that you've never heard of. The fastest gun in the West he kept the long distance freight wagons in Colorado, Wyoming & Montana safe...if he like you.

Three roasts in one! Rock 'n Roll's legendary Jimi Hendrix, his abusive Dad & skanky Mom! Jimi's parent's created a nightmare childhood for their son. That's why Jimi learn from his parents mistakes and use a vodka bottle to bludgeon his girlfriends and have his pregnant baby-momma arrested. Can't raise a child if the police has it before it's born!

John Harvey Kellogg wanted to rinse your colon with yogurt, zap your eyeballs, and pour acid on your crotch. All of it allegedly for your own good! This quacked-up doctor would shame you for smoking, drinking, meat-eating, and meat-beating! Rest in Grease. You will not be missed, Dr. Kellogg!