Rock Solid Families - Ep 246 - Summer of Love - Part 4 - Physical Intimacy 

“We're called to be unconditionally loving and respectful but when we're hurting each other, we start to throw conditions,” shares co-host Merrill Hutchinson. When it comes to building intimacy within a relationship, men and women often approach the idea from very different perspectives. Men tend to be more focused on sex as the main form of physical intimacy whereas women tend to combine physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy into one thing. In the first 3 parts of their Summer of Love Series, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson introduced their Summer of Love Marriage Assessment for evaluating the quality of a marriage and walked through 2 of the four categories, communication and emotional connectedness. Today, they discuss physical intimacy and provide insight into how both men and women view intimacy in a relationship.

Even though men might think otherwise, it is not possible to separate physical intimacy from emotional and spiritual intimacy when considering the overall wellness of a marriage. Just as women may need foreplay before getting physically intimate with their spouse, men often require warming up before engaging in emotional or spiritual intimacy. It’s important to remember that neither the husband nor the wife is right or wrong in their perspective of intimacy, they are just wired to think differently. To reconnect and grow your physical intimacy, you will need to take the time to understand one another while extending grace, unconditional love, and respect. 

There are several intimacy busters that can cause issues within a marriage such as withholding one form of intimacy in order to get another, constantly criticizing your spouse, or acting in a way that seems emotionally distant. Often, these issues come from the lack of understanding that stems from the inherent differences between the sexes. When you and your partner can approach intimacy from a place of unconditional love and respect and show grace and forgiveness, then you can walk hand in hand with Christ toward a Summer of Love. 

Quotes

• “Men have to be warmed up in emotional intimacy and in spiritual intimacy.” (15:01 | Merrill)
• “Please do not use one [type of intimacy] as a weapon to get the other or vice versa.” (16:03 | Linda)
• “If we're going to improve the physical intimacy, we can't just throw aside the emotional and spiritual intimacy, because that's how the female brain is more connected.” (17:50 | Merrill) 
• “We're called to be unconditionally loving and respectful but when we're hurting each other, we start to throw conditions.” (20:03 | Merrill)

Links

Summer of Love Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MqDxgddfmr7rzbQRFV1jC0VaUdok3XnG/view?usp=sharing

Intimacy Builders and Intimacy Busters -https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QGgjyGeDalAQjt0vBN8oe-Kszk62d3Lw/view?usp=sharing

Rock Solid Families: http://rocksolidfamilies.org

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