Rock Solid Families - Ep 233 - Rock Solid Families - The Heaviness of Grief

Merrill and Linda Hutchinson

“Everyone grieves differently, and there's no one right way to grieve. We're just here to give you permission to grieve, whether that be in anger, depression, denial, or acceptance. It’s not meaning you didn't love that person, it means that you have decided to keep moving on in life,” explains co-host Linda Hutchinson. When you are dealing with a tragedy like a death or loss, there are several stages of grief that you may experience. People often talk about these stages as if they are linear, but in reality, you may bounce back and forth between them as you process your emotions. Today, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson talk about the heaviness of grief and seven things to consider doing when helping others through the grieving process.

When a tragedy occurs, people often go directly to denial, not wanting to believe that something so upsetting has taken place. They may become angry and direct that anger inwardly, outwardly, or even toward God Himself, especially in the case of an untimely death. As healing progresses and people allow themselves to feel the sadness of loss, they will naturally progress toward depression and finally, acceptance. Sometimes people can become trapped in their grief. And at that point, they may need to seek professional help. If you are helping someone through their grief, do not try to hurry them through it. Allow them the time to process at their own speed and provide a safe space where they can share their feelings.

Everyone will experience grief at some point throughout their lives. However, not everyone will process their grief the exact same way. Some ways you can help guide others through their grief is to acknowledge their loss, provide practical help such as babysitting or cooking a meal, offer to pray for them, and share scriptures where appropriate.

Quotes

• “When you finally start to experience the reality of a loss, we’re not denying it, we're not bargaining out of it. Depression is actually a good sign that you are coming out of it.” (9:59-10:12 | Linda)
• “There's so many of our clients that believe that if I accept it, then that means I wanted it to happen.” (11:12-11:18 | Linda)
• “People have to solve their own problems. They have to walk through their own stuff. And so giving advice that is unsolicited, really most of the time is hurtful.” (15:05-15:15 | Merrill)
• “Don't assume that somebody should progress at a certain rate.” (16:49-16:53 | Merrill) 
• “Talk less, listen more.” (20:18-20:20 | Merrill)
• “Everyone grieves differently, and there's no one right way to grieve. And so we're just here to give you permission to grieve, whether that be in anger, that be depression, whether that be denial, acceptance. It’s not meaning you didn't love that person, it means that you have decided to keep moving on in life.” (30:39-31:01 | Linda)

Links

Instagram Merrill Hutchinson | https://www.instagram.com/hutchinsonmerrill/?hl=en 

Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfam

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