Romancing Nancy Drew

In which Ned has the absolute GALL to beg Nancy to clear his new girlfriend’s name after she’s named suspect in a jewel theft. As mysteries (and Ned) are catnip to Nancy, she swallows her infinite hatred for her guy’s new flame and gets to work. Nancy’s new boyfriend, a Labrador retriever with a bow tie, can’t hold a candle to Ned. Is there some banging during an inadvertent lock-in? Maybe! (No.) Also, all that football practice pays off, y’all!

OMG. This begins the three-book arc of Nancy and Ned’s breakup, which always totally destroys me. WHY CAN’T MY PRECIOUS BABIES BE HAPPY. Nancy goes to Emerson to investigate a series of mean-spirited “practical jokes” that are throwing off the basketball team (Ned’s the co-captain), which is three games away from heading to the NCAA playoffs? Apparently? There’s so much angst in this one. SO. MUCH. My heart!!! (Also, the inaugural appearance of the Big Nick.)

The Notorious NBG head to Washington, DC to watch tennis and thwart international terrorism plots, which is what all teenagers do on vacation. Ned is referred to as Nancy’s “main man in any language,” which delights me to no end. Yes, a corpse is discovered in a parking deck. Yes, refugees are granted asylum. No silver loving cups were bestowed in this one, sadly.

If you’ve ever wanted to see Ned as the best protective boyfriend EVER, this will be your new jam. The Notorious NBG (Nancy, Bess, and George) drag Ned to Montana for a white water rafting trip George won. Then it turns into a slasher movie, and they’re lost in the woods, trying to figure out who’s after them before they end up haunting the place. Cameo by an enormous boulder whose sole interest is Nancy and Ned having post-life-threatening-event sex. Follow me on Twitter at @RomancingNancy or @ndnickerson!

As Stefon would say, this club has it all: a crime spree in River Heights, an unruly dog, Ned being just deliciously salty, doppelgängers, lost royalty, a stuck Ferris wheel. Also, a hayride by moonlight. Good times.

Nancy scores her first, by no means last, Emerson dance crown in this one, and is kidnapped twice. Just a bunch of kidnapping in this one, y’all. Nancy takes Ned on a gay treasure hunt (phrasing!) and finds, as always, that the treasure was Ned all along. That, and never trust anyone under the age of 10.

In which the Nancy Drew Literary Universe continues to argue in favor of a robust social safety net. Carson’s searching for an heiress and Nancy CANNOT stay away from a creepy abandoned-looking mansion in the woods, where she and the girls keep hearing screams and gunshots. Ned, who is on retainer at Carson’s firm to run any errand where he might see Nancy, has a cute visit. Nancy also should have died like easily three times and even respawns at one point. Visit me on Twitter at @RomancingNancy and @ndnickerson!

Nancy plans a trip to South America while her dad is… working a mob case??? She may or may not be struck by lightning, which only makes her stronger. Ned stows away on the midnight train to bangtown! Find me on Twitter at @RomancingNancy and @ndnickerson.

In which Nancy is kidnapped (kidnaped, in the text) but just once but TWICE, escapes an exploding steamboat, and sleeps it off in the back of a paddy wagon. She is a girl on the go, y’all. Find me on Twitter at @ndnickerson and @RomancingNancy!

While Ned is just a passing reference in this one, I still wanted to cover it for the interesting social commentary. Nancy is on spring break in Florida with Bess and George and checks in on a friend, who is run down in the street; Nancy decides to solve the case, natch. Bonus points for the most 80s windsurfing adventure you can imagine, Nancy’s Walkman, and discos galore!