“He just is at hardware store like Christian Gray buying all the zip ties.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Romeo Must Die. This film has everything: a heroine with factory-installed GPS, an hero stealing every car he can, And Bay Area Troubles cosplay. If you love deeds-nuts real estate logic, low-res X-ray bone breaks, and Vancouver pretending real hard to be Oakland, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wild Things (1998)

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“I can't incorporate the word pop into this press release.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Love Jones. This film has everything: unexpected Philly Fanatic thirst, Chuck E. Cheese token-wealth flexes, And weaponized Toasted Oat drama. If you love record-store “just give me her info” behavior, taking poetry way too literally, and ruthless editing/pacing nitpicks, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Romeo Must Die (2000)

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“They can't have sex until they get married. God said so.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Jumping the Broom. This film has everything: inappropriate touching, Saxophone mishaps, And a chef that is cookin up some magic. If you love Martha’s Vineyard class warfare, family secrets dropping right before the vows, and a cities in china that don't even exist, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Love Jones

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“It would be like standing right next to Gallagher as he smashes a watermelon”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Poetic Justice. This film has everything: a possible Italian sandwich, passing out in Waffle Houses, And a risky Yelp review reviews. If you love road trip poetry, Maya Angelou cameos, and Tupac delivering mail like it’s foreplay, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Jumping the Broom (2011)

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"Any way you slice that, that's the most interesting funeral you've ever been to."

This week’s most romantic movie is... Deliver Us From Eva. This film has everything: A Mayor involved in a pending sex scandal, a $5,000 house, And a plan that would straight up get you thrown in federal prison. If you love mayoral wingmen, salty sisters, and felonies as foreplay, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Poetic Justice (1993)

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"Paige made us look at duck titties"

This week’s most romantic movie is... Howard the Duck. This film has everything: Tiny used condoms, illegal jacuzzis you can rent by the hour, And a horrific truth about ducks that are "Tops". If you love Cajun sushi diners, Quack Fu mugging lessons, and a Stargate that’s somehow being used to test space gases, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Deliver Us from Eva

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"The Mask is sexy Animaniacs."

This week’s most romantic movie is... The Mask. This film has everything: a live action Pepe Le Pew, pants pockets filled with gags, And the dumbest version of the Hulk you'll ever see. If you love green zoot-suits, balloon-animal's crossing the rainbow bridge, and literal puppy heros, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Howard the Duck (1986)

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"May I Keep It"

This week's most romantic movie is... Robin Hood: Men in Tights. This film has everything: a cell block maitre d. Dummies built for battle. And Dave back when he was really funny. If you love velcro beards, soup-can helmets, and red-carpet rollup mid-brawl, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Mask, 1994

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"Like a church dance at a laser quest."

This week's most romantic movie is... Mannequin: On the Move. This film has everything: Sunglasses Scissors, Mole's with a rat tail, and an overly flirtatious Blue Knight. If you love sitcom-length plots, where-the-butt-starts debates, and GDP measured in mannequins, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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"She put her hands in God's mouth."

This week's most romantic movie is... When Harry Met Sally. This film has everything: Wagon wheel coffee tables, a surprise Christmas grovel, and a first kiss that was as weak as a LaCroix. If you love pastrami priorities, Chris Bridge's dating rules, and song-machine chaos, this episode's for you!

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