“I think Ang Lee has some sort of tear fetish."

This week’s most romantic movie is... Brokeback Mountain. This film has everything: Alma the Elder, rodeo-clown rejection, And Thanksgiving turkey chainsaws. If you love crying through cowboy hats, sheep-based emotional support, and store-wrapped fishing evidence, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Kissing Jessica Stein

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“It was wild to me that when they get there, they didn’t try the 'Helen Who' defense.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... Troy. This film has everything: Cutting edge fighting techniques, Roasting neighborhood children, And using a papyrus scroll to call in sick to war. If you wish you could copy-and-paste Jason Mantzoukas, see the world’s dopest trick horse, and Pentatonix pantheons, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Brokeback Mountain

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“Please, sir, can I have some less?”

This week's most romantic movie is... Lady Chatterley's Lover. This film has everything: Gushed-up getaways, God-approved marriage counseling, And historically accurate parachute panties. If you love 50 Shades of Hay, horny gamekeepers, and class-war cunnilingus, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Troy

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“Satan has a summer home in his voice box.”

This week's most romantic movie is... The Count of Monte Cristo. This film has everything: Terrible sense of directions, Montel-style paternity reveals, And landlocked sea-leg maintenance. If you love Spirit Halloween, goatee-level disguises, and the count of sandwiches, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Lady Chatterley’s Lover

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“Foiled again by our own made up rules.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Pride and Prejudice. This film has everything: Darcy’s opinion kink, historically accurate boredom, And more compliments that a potato is due. If you love only-hands thirst traps, laundry zip lines, and pig-testicle cinematography, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Count of Monte Cristo

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“Is it like a hubris Bermuda Triangle over there?”

This week's most romantic movie is... Titanic. This film has everything: Nudes leaked by the news, Ghost Math, And makeout-based maritime disasters. If you love synthesizer church, God’s cocktail, and walking-pasta immigration stories, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Pride & Prejudice (2005)

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“Everyone went to Berkeley.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Basic Instinct. This film has everything: way too much DNA, murder-for-profit royalties, And the interrogation full-frontal we deserved. If you love coked-out dance floor jealousy, wildly unethical psychiatrist hookups, and ice-pick happy endings, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Titanic (1997)

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“Every cafe he walks into looks like it’s about to have a poetry slam.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Eyes Wide Shut. This film has everything: wallet-sized stethoscopes, human furniture sex logistics, And an appropriately sized dance partner. If you love fake New York poetry-slam cafes, secret-society dweebs, and Tom Cruise turning lights on for 95 takes, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Basic Instinct (1992)

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“You better keep that pulp away.”

This week’s most romantic movie is... The Housemaid. This film has everything: Plate guys, Dalmatian coats, And the most evil “I know” in movie history. If you love John Wick housemaid franchises, juice-is-a-privilege children, and sandwich breaks in the middle of revenge arcs, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

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“I felt like I was sitting in a lecture that was being given by Elon Musk.”

This week's most romantic movie is... Indecent Proposal. This film has everything: gumball machines filled with caviar, shoes being kicked across the room, And a plot Natalie Wood would not be ok with. If you love unemployed-architect confidence, best-two-out-of-three roulette logic, and movie's that should not exist as a concept, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Housemaid (2025)

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