"The Mask is sexy Animaniacs."

This week’s most romantic movie is... The Mask. This film has everything: a live action Pepe Le Pew, pants pockets filled with gags, And the dumbest version of the Hulk you'll ever see. If you love green zoot-suits, balloon-animal's crossing the rainbow bridge, and literal puppy heros, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Howard the Duck (1986)

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"May I Keep It"

This week's most romantic movie is... Robin Hood: Men in Tights. This film has everything: a cell block maitre d. Dummies built for battle. And Dave back when he was really funny. If you love velcro beards, soup-can helmets, and red-carpet rollup mid-brawl, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: The Mask, 1994

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"Like a church dance at a laser quest."

This week's most romantic movie is... Mannequin: On the Move. This film has everything: Sunglasses Scissors, Mole's with a rat tail, and an overly flirtatious Blue Knight. If you love sitcom-length plots, where-the-butt-starts debates, and GDP measured in mannequins, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

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"She put her hands in God's mouth."

This week's most romantic movie is... When Harry Met Sally. This film has everything: Wagon wheel coffee tables, a surprise Christmas grovel, and a first kiss that was as weak as a LaCroix. If you love pastrami priorities, Chris Bridge's dating rules, and song-machine chaos, this episode's for you!

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"Holy shit, is this Christmas Carol, John Wick?"

This week’s most romantic movie is... Spirited. This movie has everything: Monthly Showers, Dolly getting Dickens'ed down, And the worst Tattoo ideas you ever hear come out of Tampa. If you love afterlife office politics, musical numbers that absolutely commit, and wildly confident bad ideas, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: When Harry Met Sally (1989)

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"I hope she's got a lot of lotion or another sex cardigan."

This week's most romantic movie is... Wicked: For Good. This film has everything: Technicolor Arrakis, the third worst pizza Paige has ever laid eyes on, and lifting a possible lover 20 feet off the ground... because of the implication. If you love whip-stealing women, killer songs, and two people yelling "JUST KISS ALREADY" at the screen, this episode's for you!

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Up Next: Spirited 2022

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“Bitch, I am the Wizard”

This week’s most romantic movie is… Wicked. This film has everything: A flying squirrel playing drums, A master in chaos theory doing shitty slight of hand, And a Orgy when you least expect it. If you love erotically serious line readings, talking horses, and square-trouser roasts, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wicked: For Good (2025)

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“The sexiest thing a man can wear is a properly fitting apology.”

This week’s most romantic movie is… Die Hard. This film has everything: The world’s scariest airport, Graceful high kicks, And a man standing in front of his wife asking her to duck already. If you love film-school flexes, Krampus-level holiday pettiness, and Karate Kid chaos in a skyscraper, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Wicked (2024)

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“ We’re Americans and consumerism is our God. ”

This week’s most romantic movie is… A Merry Little Ex-Mas. This film has everything: Ungrateful little shits, A tearaway tux posing as heroic formalwear, And the longest commercial for energy efficient appliances...ever. If you love sultry Saint Nick vibes, Simpsons snowplow callbacks, and stripper-puppeteer chaos, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: Die Hard.

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“This movie was written by child GPT.”

This week’s hottest movie is… Our Little Secret. This film has everything: Idiots building business plans, A long lost MacFarlane brother, And a Praise and Worship band that actually slaps. If you love alien screenwriting seminars, phantom cookie exchanges, and time-traveling church-lady couture, this episode’s for you!

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Up Next: A Merry Little Ex-Mas (2025) .

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