Romantasy Roundtable: Fantasy Romance Reviews

Episode Title: Mate, Murder, Minestrone – Game Night Special

Description: Recording-marathon brain has fully set in, so Amanda, Kim, and Rick take a break from plot to play Mate, Murder, Minestrone—their extremely on-brand, soupified take on f**k, marry, kill. From Poppy slander and dragon riders to cursed fantasy names and the eternal menace of “honeydew,” the Romanty Roundtable turns every trope, quote, and side character into chaotic relationship choices. Nothing is safe, not even the soup.

Highlights include:

• Poppy Must Perish: Violet, Feyre, and Poppy face judgment, and Poppy does not make it out of this round alive.
• One Bed, One Chair, One Horse: Kim negotiates her favorite soup scenes while also refusing to harm a single fictional pony.
• Dragon Rider vs. Devil Prince: Rick builds his dream afterlife: lifelong dragon-riding, occasional devil-prince situationship.
• Hawkthrone, Kingfisher, Rowington: The panel debates which cursed YA name sounds the most like a lacrosse-playing finance bro.
• Heartmates, Honeydew, The Joining: The holy trinity of invented romance words goes under the knife (sorry, honeydew).
• Traitor Boys & Baby Predators: Jack Barlow, Benji, and Alastair get their own hate-f**k vs. yeet-off-a-cliff segment.
• Violence, Feyre Darling, Trouble, Angel, Killer: What if every nickname screams “red flag” in a different font?
• Quote Chaos Finale: “My house, my chair, my woman,” “the f**k-aware,” and “you’re really a violent little thing, aren’t you?” battle for top soup line.

Plus: Wine vs. cappuccino vs. tiny Trader Joe’s OJ, Henry VIII wife lore, “Jewish werewolf lumberjack” as a type, and Tristan’s brief refusal to participate in our nonsense.

Next up: Back to our regular readalong—check the next episode title for which book and chapters we’re diving into next.

Episode Title: Mate – Chapters 27–End

Description: The Mate finale delivers chaos, cults, and enough soup to feed the entire Northwest Pack. Rick, Amanda, and Kim close out Ali Hazelwood’s werewolf fever dream with deep literary insight (and deeper regret) as they unpack the Jewish werewolf conspiracy, inflatable anatomy, and one of the wildest epilogues in Romantasy history.

Highlights include:

 • Bagels & Bar Mitzvahs: Rick celebrates Jewish werewolves with a New Jersey bagel and avocado, sparking the immortal question—are were-butterflies next?

 • Cult Family Reunion: Serena gets kidnapped, meets her manipulative Aunt Irene, and learns her mom was in a supernatural MLM. The vibes are Waco with a side of therapy.

 • Love, Duty, and Pancakes: Cohen’s tragic celibacy vow finally crumbles, proving that even alphas can’t fight destiny—or the call of breakfast foods.

 • The Heat Saga: Three full chapters of… soup. There’s fruit, water breaks, werewolf anatomy lessons, and one line so horrifying it scarred the entire pod (“This is where my come goes”).

 • Puppy Power Finale: Serena turns into a tiny wolf, takes a bullet for Cohen, and lives to bark about it. True love bites—literally.

 • Post-Battle Banter: Misery and Serena’s hospital reunion includes frog therapy, toenail trimming, and the line “you’ve been deaunted.” Friendship goals achieved.

 • Happily Ever After (and Bitten): The celibacy covenant gets yeeted, Cohen gets bitten first (finally), and the pod celebrates a satisfying if soup-soaked ending.

Mary’s Missives!

The team revives their favorite chaos segment as colleague Mary reviews Mate—a book she’s never read. Topics include hybrid identity, Jewish–Sicilian solidarity, and why “I remain tragically unf***ed” might be the most relatable line of the year.

Final Ratings:

 • Stars: 4

 • Soups: 3.5

(For comparison: Bride got 3.5 stars and 4 soups. Growth? Maybe.)

CTA: Tell us—did Mate make you howl or just overheat? Email romantygmail.com, drop a comment on BookTok, or bring us your theories about Jewish werewolves and the cult of hydration.

Episode Title: Mate – Chapters 13–26

Description: The Romanty Roundtable returns to the Pacific Northwest for part two of Ali Hazelwood’s Mate, where cults form, vows break, and everyone’s constantly shirtless. Amanda, Kim, and Rick tackle the middle stretch of the book—half domestic fluff, half hormonal apocalypse—as Cohen’s celibacy pact collides with Serena’s fast-approaching heat. Between werewolf theology, “good girl” debates, and the debut of The Howler App™, the trio agrees: there’s still no plot, but they’re having an amazing time.

Highlights include:

• Domestic Wolfcore: Grocery dates, pink penguin pocketknives, and Cohen buying her every item she even glanced at.
• Pack Dinner Drama: Meatballs, lemon-ricotta pancakes, and one young wolf learning what “touch her and die” really means.
• Celibate Alpha Energy, Part 2: Haircuts, shaving foam innuendo, and the immortal line—“I remain tragically un-[bleep]ed.”
• Werewolf Bar Mitzvah Continues: The covenant origins revealed—Cohen took his vow at 15, uniting a shattered pack and locking up his libido forever.
• Cult of Constantine: Cliff-jumping prophets, suicidal acolytes, and the horrifying possibility that Serena might be divine…or related.
• Self Soup Scene™: Ice baths, glands, and Cohen proving chivalry isn’t dead—it’s just sweaty.
• Heat Cycle Havoc: Biology lectures, hormone injections, and the line heard round the pod: “My smell brings all the wolves to the yard.”

Plus: Drag Race linguistics, the eternal “Killer vs Princess” nickname debate, and a bonus Moonstruck detour that somehow makes perfect sense.

Next up: Mate – Chapters 27 to End. Expect resolution, revelation, and probably one final ladle of soup.

Episode Title: Mate – Chapters 1–12 (Werewolf Bar Mitzvah Edition!) ???? Description: The Romanty Roundtableis back and absolutely unhinged, diving into the Omegaverse with Mate by Ali Hazelwood, the companion novel to Bride! Amanda, Kim, and Rick break down the first 12 chapters, introducing the hunted Human-Were hybrid Serena Paris and the formidable Alpha Koen Alexander. The crew discusses Serena's mysterious hybrid illness, the undeniable mate bond vs. Koen's infamous Celibacy Covenant, and the confusing science of werewolf biology. Expect an accidental giveaway announcement, debates on why Millennials love email, and a deep dive into the canonical Judaism of the Northwest Pack.

• Alpha vs. Alpha: We discuss the difference between the "domesticated" investment banker Low and the "wild" Jewish Alpha Koen, who hates being thanked.
• The Alpha's Rules: Koen claims Serena as his mate for protection, despite his centuries-old vow of celibacy, setting up a primal conflict with their sharp, magnetic chemistry.
• Dying Hybrid: Serena is secretly dealing with CSD (Cortisol Surge Disorder) and keeps her illness from Koen and Misery, forcing her to hide her rapidly increasing need for her mate.
• Pack Drama & Genetics: The crew debates werewolf anatomy, the significance of the Northwest Pack's destroyed records, and whether Serena's father is the key to her past.
• "Mental Throat Punch" The episode features a dramatic re-enactment of the worst line of dialogue ever written, plus an accidental giveaway for listeners brave enough to make it to the end.

Join us for chaos, cringe, and conspiracy theories. Chapters 13–26 are next—we’re one step closer to figuring out why Ali Hazelwood's heroes are so into woodworking!

Episode Title: A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire – Chapters 36–End (Finale!)

Description: The Romanty Roundtable has survived the third-quarter slump and is finally done with A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire! Amanda, Kim, and Rick close the book on Poppy and Casteel's chaotic journey, covering the final, explosive chapters (36 through 45). They discuss the long-awaited wedding, a sudden battle, a heartbreaking betrayal, and a shocking divine power-up in the final minutes. The crew gives their definitive final ratings, debates the concept of "soul eating," and celebrates the fact that the two best parts of the book were, unfortunately, the last two chapters.

Key Topics Discussed:

 * The Atlantian Wedding: Poppy and Casteel actually get married in a surprisingly un-Christian ritual, complete with burying rings and a mark of union on their palms.

 * The Best Bad Sentence: We revisit the terrible, cringe dialogue, including the line: "I've always known you like that I enjoy when you make me bleed."

 * The Final Betrayal: The crew reacts to the unexpected traitorous plot twist involving the "cute little puppy" Becket, and the subsequent "Red Wedding" chaos.

 * The Power-Up: Poppy discovers a terrifying new use of her empath skills: soul eating and channeling hatred back at her attackers, causing the sky to rain blood.

 * The Divine Reveal: In the book's climax, Casteel kneels, Queen Eloana abdicates, and Poppy is proclaimed the rightful Queen, the descendant of the King of the Gods.

 * Join or Don't: We discuss the constant teasing of the threesome/joining and the consensus that the third book has to deliver.

 * Hot Takes & Final Ratings: The crew gives their final star rating (a reluctant 2.5 ⭐️) and "soup" score for the whole book, concluding that author Jenny should stick to writing plot, not romance.

Next Up: Omegaverse!

We’re putting away the heartmates and jumping into Mate by Ali Hazelwood, the highly anticipated paranormal companion novel.

Join us next time as we begin reading Chapters 1–12!

Episode Title: A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire – Chapters 24–35

Description: The Romantasy Roundtable returns, barely surviving the third-quarter slump of Jennifer L. Armentrout’s A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire. Amanda, Kim, and Rick tackle bacon jokes from 2013, the world’s slowest “joining” talk, soup in the soup, and an alarming number of thumb references. Somewhere between hot springs foreplay and military strategy, our trio wonders if anything in this book actually happens—or if we’re all just second-screening it at this point.

Highlights include:

The Joining Threesome That Wasn’t: Poppy, Castile, and Kieran keep talking about it, and everyone just wants them to do it already.

Juice Box Chronicles: Kieran supervises the world’s most awkward feeding scene while Rick logs every thumb movement.

Spark Notes & Show Your Spark: Poppy gains lightning, healing powers, and a personal fan club of wolves who think she smells like mothballs.

Soup in the Soup: The hot-spring scene finally happens, complete with recycled cave romance energy and deeply questionable dialogue.

Drama at Spessa’s End: Political betrayals, dead side characters we barely met, and Poppy declaring she’s ready to fight while everyone else begs her to stay in the tent and heal.

The Fire Rises: The Ascended are marching, Rick is losing the will to live, and Kim sneezes through the prophecy of “one more soup scene.”

Plus: Comic-Con shout-outs, Kingdom of Threads merch obsession, “halp” frogs, and confirmation that the pod loves The Life of a Showgirl more than this entire series.

Next up: Chapters 36–End—expect chaos, confessions, and (allegedly) the final bowl of soup.

Episode Title: A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire – Chapters 13–23

Description: The Romanty Roundtable continues the chaos with Jennifer L. Armentrout’s A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire, covering chapters 13–23. Amanda, Kim, and Rick unpack Atlantean lore dumps, blood-soaked battles, pantry makeouts, and a very questionable use of the word “honeydew.” From cave cats and silver hawks to Dead Bones cannibals and heartmate drama, this section of the book gives us everything from messy soup scenes to Hot Topic-level life mottos.

Key Topics Discussed:

Library Laps & Lightning Teases – Poppy learns about empath warriors while being forcibly lap-sat, discovers wyverns (not dragons), and sparks that might foreshadow a fiery new signet.

Ascended Attack – Lord Cheney (aka Dick Cheney) kidnaps Poppy mid-chaos, baby-eating vamps abound, and Castile rips out throats with war-crime efficiency.

Carriage Carnage – Poppy stabs her way to survival with the legendary “meat knife” before Castile goes full dramatic rescue and feeds her his blood.

Pantry Passion – A supply closet smooch with Castile gives us heat, vegetables, and the classic fake-engagement angst.

Cheney’s Final Curtain – Poppy gets her vengeance with the bloodstone dagger, while Kieran and Castile’s wolven bond raises more moral questions than answers.

Soup Complaints – A nightmare, an ick-inducing bedside feeding, and nipple pain discourse lead to one of the weirdest soup scenes yet.

Dead Bones Clan Throwdown – Skin masks, bone windchimes, and Poppy proving she can slay with a bloodstone bow. Action scene clarity not included.

Pompei & Spessa’s End – Ruins, secret strongholds, and Atlantian plumbing logistics: showers exist… sometimes.

Honeydew & Heartmates – Castile’s trance-feeding ends with the worst pet name ever, before Kieran drops the “heartmate” bomb that no one asked for.

Join us for pantry kisses, bone masks, and Hot Topic one-liners. Next stop: Chapters 24–35—pack your cloaks, cave cats, and emotional support wolven.

Description: The Romanty Roundtable is BACK with Jennifer L. Armentrout’s A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire, and Poppy wastes no time reminding us why she’s the queen of chaotic inner monologues. Amanda, Kim, and Rick dive into the opening 12 chapters, covering bloody banquets, lore dumps, tree bears, and lap-sitting that nobody actually asked for. Expect unhinged notes, vampire math equations, and the revelation that Castile’s full name is somehow worse than we imagined.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Marriage Ultimatum – Castile proposes (or, well, demands) marriage, Poppy fumes, and everyone wonders how long we can drag out this conversation. Spoiler: 200 pages.
• Heart-Ripping Romance – From banquet brawls to Indiana Jones callbacks, Castile proves that tearing out hearts is just his love language.
• Vampire Math 101 – Mortals + blood loss = Craven? Mortals + Atlantean blood = Ascended? Maybe it’s Maybelline.
• Tree Bears & Bear Rats – The animal kingdom of Atlantia is unhinged, and Jennifer L. Armentrout is just making up vibes.
• Middle Name Madness – Hawkthrone. Yes, that’s really his middle name. No, we are not okay.
• One Throne, One Horse – Lap-sitting at dinner cements the “one throne” trope. Ergonomics be damned.
• Lore Dumps & Bloodlines – Seven Atlantean subtypes, changelings, wolven bonds, and why Poppy is giving “extinct bloodline, but make it main character energy.”
• Hallmark Moments – Castile promises her a diamond so big it enters the room before she does. Romantic? Terrifying? Both.

Join us for heart-ripping, lap-sitting, and tree bear spotting. Next stop: Chapters 13–23. Bring your snowballs, inner hips, and at least one spare throne.

???? Episode Title: Enchantra – Chapters 36–End

???? Description: The Romanty Roundtable closes out Kaylie Smith’s Enchantra with a finale full of bargains, betrayals, memory wipes, and one very stubborn fox. Amanda, Kim, and Rick unpack the final chapters as Genevieve and Rowan descend into hell, face Knox’s manipulations, and fight through the last deadly round of the Hunt. Expect shadow soup, soul lock drama, and an ending that had us equal parts swooning and side-eyeing.

???? Key Topics Discussed:

• Hell is Basically Norway? – Demons, shops, fans on “Enchantrogram,” and why Knox’s estate feels more like a goth shopping district than eternal damnation.
• Bargains on Bargains – Knox tempts Rowan and Genevieve with freedom, cures, and impossible choices, while our duo proves their love with some very messy confessions.
• The Trove & The Soul Lock – A James Bond-style villain monologue meets foreshadowed trinkets as Genevieve makes her fateful pick.
• Final Rounds & Fake-Outs – Ellen bows out, Rowan vs. Grave hits heel-turn territory, and the ultimate sacrifice lands in Genevieve’s hands (and locket).
• Memory Loss Meltdown – Genevieve wakes up without Rowan, Salem gets snarky, and we all collectively groan at the “amnesia trope”… until the letters (and a certain ring) start rolling in.
• The Ring & The Reunion – Rowan trades his immortality, Genevieve chooses love, and the waterfront kiss delivers the romantasy payoff.
• Epilogue Set-Up – Crimson rot cures, devil frat houses, and the looming big bad king—plus, Lucy’s subplot heating up for book three.
• Soup Ratings & Star Ratings – Was the shadow soup hot enough? Did the pacing land? We debate and land on an average of 3.5 cans of soup and 4 stars.

???? Join us for devil bargains, shadow kisses, and fox squeals. Book three is coming—bring your keg stands and soul lockets.

Episode Title: Enchantra – Chapters 17–35

Description: The Romanty Roundtable dives back into Kaylie Smith’s Enchantra, covering chapters 17–35—aka the absolute chaos portion of the book. Amanda, Kim, and Rick wade through deadly hunts, shadow soup, fox games, piranha attacks, and family rituals that make Thanksgiving dinner look tame. Expect labyrinth chills, Umbra adoration, and some of the spiciest shadow play we’ve read yet.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The Hunt Heats Up – Grave’s turn in the labyrinth brings Squid Game vibes, horror-movie choices, and one too many flimsy dresses in the snow.
• Two Truths & a Lie – Rowan and Genevieve crack open their pasts with games that double as surprisingly emotional intimacy-building.
• Umbra Supremacy – The little black fox steals the show (and our hearts), from flower crowns to tragic piranha drama.
• Shadow Soup™ – Rowan brings his shadows into the mix for a scene none of us were prepared for. Extra hands, extra spice.
• Birthday Stabbings & Family Secrets – Genevieve’s birthday dinner involves stabbing Dad and spilling secrets. Because of course it does.
• Fox Says… – A trust-building, very not-PG version of Simon Says that escalates fast.
• Betrayals & Confessions – From bets on Genevieve to Rowan’s secret letter-writing past, trust is tested and love is confessed.
• Predictions & Theories – Will Genevieve win the Hunt? Or is a trip to hell (literally) setting the stage for book three?

Join us for labyrinth chills, shadow thrills, and Umbra squeals. Only one round left in the Hunt—place your bets and hide your foxes.