In ongoing suffering that has no end, there often isn’t a tangible reason. Connection with Jesus is ultimately the answer that remains elusive when trying to make meaning out of pain. But if we choose to lean in rather than avoid the hurt, we begin to find Jesus in his humanity looking back at us with love and tenderness. He knows.

You would think “fighting” cancer would take a toll on my person. But maybe not so much….as a person of faith, I see myself as a created being. I’m learning to see how precious life is, how precious I am to God. How precious you are to God because you were created by a God who says that we are loved and WE ARE GOOD.

Less than 2 years after finishing treatment from breast cancer, I find out I have a new aggressive cancer diagnosis - a whole new horizon.

Very few people can actually imagine the perspective of the father who seeks Jesus’ healing for his ill son whose ailment is described as “demon possession” in the Bible. It sounds very familiar to families with children suffering from Auto-immune Encephalitis and uncontrolled epilepsy. But we can re-imagine what this father was really asking for if we have lived through the same hell ourselves. In this episode I Re-imagine the father’s back story.

Many people like to throw around the word “diversity” as if it is something that just happens. Divine Diversity requires a lot from each of us if we want to really know, enjoy relationship and deeply love believers from all walks of life. My son’s soccer team shows us how it’s done.

I’ve had the privilege of learning from many many BIPOC professors, mentors, friends and family members throughout my life and they have taught me so many valuable lessons that I see most White Folks rarely learn and enjoy the rich intimacy of multi-racial relationships with people from vastly different cultures and experiences outside of their own. And BIPOC experience a broad scale of injustice from hardly ever to every single day. It’s up to White Folks to be aware and sensitive to that spectrum.

A closer look at what hate is - anything that isn’t loving is hateful. White Christians must face the level of impact White Supremacy has had on their hearts and minds to truly love people outside of their circles well. Where do you stand on the White Supremacy Continuum? I am recovering from its devastation on my heart.

I had a vivid dream about a dear friend who is a fellow breast cancer survivor but this dream had so many layers to it, another way to understand how Jesus is grieving the self inflicted wounds of dominant culture supremacy in His Bride, the church.

(WARNING: extremely offensive language is used in this podcast as I tell our story). I never knew the depths of hate and violence of racism until it touched our family. It’s worse than I imagined and my words can’t even conjure up the charged shocks in the air of imminent and unreasonable danger. And so I speak as a reforming White Supremacist.

6 months after our daughter’s first round of IVIG, her symptoms began returning. Within a few months, the Emergency Dept’s entrance became a revolving door again. Until she had IVIG in the ED on PANDAS Awareness Day (October 9th)