On the 2nd episode of Jam Mechanics, we learn a shocking fact about Matt, make the next hit TikTok Dance, and things get a little omnipotent.

⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

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Title: Pledge Allegiance

Don’t feel compelled just to belong

Obligatory public vows shouldn’t make anybody proud

We don’t believe in faded ink

No shame updating how we think

Let’s circle back, no need to lock our constitution Google Doc

Don’t pledge allegiance to me, I

I’ve got no reason to be right

I’m not your King, I’ve not returned

I’ve got a million things to learn

We’re like a trilogy unwatched

2/3’s abandoned and simply dropped

We’ll never know the end,

I’ll bring the paper and the pen and try again

We’re okay living in the wings

Don’t need attention or what it brings

we’re all content just to let the kings

Fight back and forth over petty things

We’ll plant our flag and hope it grows

And if the cameras come we can strike a pose

If this life’s an anthem of perfect prose

We are the 2nd verse that nobody knows

[Chorus]

And we’ll shimmy to the left, shimmy shimmy to the left

Everybody shimmy shimmy on over to the left

And then we’ll shimmy to left, keep going to the left

It’d be super duper helpful if you’d shimmy to the left

It’d be great if you’d shimmy to left please, thank you

[Chorus]

MATT'S SONG

i was walking to work day

crossing the street you gotta look both ways i know

but today i just stepped out with my eyes closed

three narrow misses and a screaming driver

i made it safely to the other side and i open my notebook and i write "experiment 9: success" and underline it

yeah i think i'm immortal

the signs are becoming unignorable

it all started a week ago

i woke up with a weird feeling so i did what any reasonable person ought to do

jumped out the window barely caught a sprain

walked on the tracks and tried to stop a train

yeah i think i'm immortal

the signs are becoming unignorable

how else would you explain it

i'm god

i think i always knew

i'm god

you're not that sucks for you

i thought that i was special i guess i was

now all you motherfuckers better pray because i'm god

i'm god

my first commandment is all love songs are now about me

my second commandment is thou shalt not order in food without leaving some aside for me as offering

my third commandment is the workday now starts at 4pm

and finishes at 4.45pm

two days a week

My fourth commandment is the summer will never rise above a pleasant temperature, and i'm scottish so, prepare for cold weather

My fifth commandment is commands are hard to come up with, imma take a break

my sixth commandment is free healthcare for all, sorry, i should have thought of that sooner

my seventh commandment is vampires are real and they're sexyyy

my eighth commandment is we should probably defang the vampires, but i acknowledge that a lot of their sex appeal comes from how dangerous they are so

i dunno

leave that with me

my ninth commandment is no war, no famine, no poverty, no bloodsports, no long layovers, no disappointing endings to novels, no greenhouse gases, no mandatory mailing list signups, no hidden fees, no gods, no masters, no actually scrap that. you didn't write that down did you?

my tenth commandment is the vampires leave you alone unless you consent to be bitten

yeah i think that solves that problem