Jam Mechanics

The Wiki'd Witch has retired. Season 4 closes with a look back at the audience rankings and questions, as well as a little surprise at the end!

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠

Oh That? That's Episode 10 of szn 4 of Jam Mechanics, Baby. We finish out the season by defying all expectations and proving our worst enemies wrong

OUR SZN 4 FEEDBACK FORM

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

and follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc!

Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: The Storm

Prompt Page: Jester --> Punch and Judy --> The Devil

Lyrics:

I ain't scared of The Devil

I don't believe in Bad Luck

They tried their best to convince me

but the grift never stuck

Because the Devil's just Thunder

When you hear it you hide

its just the sound it makes

The Danger outside

Go to bed, go to bed, little darling rest your head

you are safe from the storm while you sleep

The crashes you hear, so far off, nowhere near

cannot hurt you when you sit with me

When I was young, just a kid, my own mother told me this

that storms were the gods in a fight

I imagined the battle, the roar and the rattle,

was the lord keeping watching in the night

So I ain't scared of The Devil

I don't believe in tall tales

She tried her best to convince me

that's where everyone fails

Because the Devil's just Thunder

When you hear it you hide

its just the sound it makes

The Danger outside

So go to bed, go to bed, little darling rest your head

its not God who keeps watch over us

Its the roof that we built, its your pillows and quilt

that your mother and I put our trust

we're cursed by a god with illusion of choice

when survival depends on the one to destroy

and we're judged as a sinner as if we could stop but

I will put you in the crib before I put you in the coffin

so I ain't scared of The Devil

I don't believe he exists

But someone had to invent him

and I am damn scared of them

So don't go out in The Storm, love

Not because of the noise

The thunder is harmless

It's only the voice

So don't go out in The Storm, love

Not because of the noise

The thunder is harmless

The Devil's their voice

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: The Vulgar Tongue

Prompt Page: June Gloom --> Colloquialism --> Slang

Lyrics:

they hear us coming but they don't know where we're coming from

they see us perching at the edge of the town

we talk in circles and we gabble in tongues

and we crow like the birds

on the slope of the church

picking eyes out of fresh cadavers

we're c c coming we're c c coming oh

we are the very dregs, that leaked onto your kitchen floor from a hole at the bottom of the barrel

we are the nameless things that sing you to a restless sleep crouching at the outside of your window

we are the urges you can't purge, the easy lies you tell, the flies that gather in the eyes of cattle

we are the thoughts you bat away you can't ignore, like the rotten tooth you tongue and dig around in when you're bored

and we're coming

(we're c c coming oh we're c c comin oh)

solo

they hear us coming but they don't know where we're coming from

they think they're safe if they plug up their ears

but there's a backdoor to every heart

and we knock just to check

if it could take a kick

and we paint a red cross on the timber

we're c c coming we're c c coming oh

you are the favourite children, lauded above all, the shining sceptre at the centre of creation

you are a princess, just a grotesque mess of senses, you're an empty car just begging to be driven

can you imagine what's like to be the bedrock of the world, to realise your purpose is just to be stepped on

well you know what, don't you worry bout it child - you hear that knock? soon you won't have to imagine

we're coming

Episode 9 won't disappoint you like a Big Boy Yoda. We talk brushes with fame and our biggest bombs before both writing bangers

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

--Bug's Song--

Title: Just Because

Prompt Page: San Diego Comic-con --> San Diego Pride --> June Gloom

Lyrics:

There's no funeral, there's no wedding

it's just a random weekend in February

but the gang's all here and ready to hang out

This ain't sick leave, this ain't work-from-home

this is pure shit, uncut PTO

3 full days, no chores, no plans somehow

The kids grew up and all moved out but everyone's back in town...

Just Because! We put it on the Calendar

Just Because! we liked the way it sounds and we're

just some buds travellin to hang around Just Because...

And just because is as good as any reason

Because Just Because just makes it easy

Just believe it does, Just Because

It's not a diet, or a lifestyle

its just a little unexpected but I thought I'd try it

my friends are looking at me like they're shocked

It's not a burger, it's not nuggies

It's not either of the two foods you'd expect of me

Its a brand new side of the menu that I've unlocked

The kid's grown up his palette, I have just ordered a salad...

Just Because! I'm monchin' on a salad here

Just Because! I liked the way it sounds and we're

Just some buds taken on the salad bar Just Because

And just because is as good as any reason

Because Just Because just makes it easy

Just believe it does, Just Because

I can tell ya something if ya say I never told ya

The secret is the vinegar, your ears are baking soda

I need to keep it quiet if you lean a little closer

The only thing that's keepin ya from doin' what you're doin'

is often not enough to stop ya if you wanna do it

It doesn't take much to get the motivated movin'

you may have thought you hit your limit

but here's two words to fix it:

Just Because! we're having such a better year

Just Because! we liked the way it sounds and we're

just some buds finding out the power of Just Because

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: Criss-Cross Applesauce

Prompt Page: Rube Goldberg-> Boob McNutt -> Jester (via Buffoonish)

Lyrics:

you might be guided by the cards

or the full moon's gravity

pick a path by plotting stars

or the patterns in the leaves

add up numbers in the bible

til you land on sum you like

if you're really having trouble

ask your friends for some advice

feed a universe of data

to a planet-sized machine

maybe god will call back later

within 7 working weeks

baby throw yourself at anything

at anyone at all

to get the sense that this direction you are stumbling in's the one that leads you home

but if the cards are shuffled badly

and the moon pulls only tides

and the leaves clump all together

and the stars slip out of line

and the bible's numbers add up to

42069

and your friends suggestions get you guessing they're out of their minds

if the algorithm feeds you only ads and right wing news

if god's call center's automated

and no one puts you through

baby throw yourself a party

invite everyone you know

sit beside them criss-cross applesauce, this chaos is the closest thing to home

grab yourself a cushion make yourself as comfortable

as the uncarpeted kitchen floor allows

friends, i love you endlessly but you would never know

cause I never say that sort of thing out loud

above us see the sky fissures and rends itself apart

while beneath us magma boils at the core

and in between this room of us, the circle will break only once

the last of us has fallen to the sword

What up Girl! We both come back from our holiday break with EXCELLENT stories from home and no, we won't apologize.

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

Our Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

and follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc!

Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: Oops!

Prompt Page: Robotic Surgery --> Waldo (short story) --> Rube Goldberg

Lyrics:

Oops, I'm sorry, my fault, my bad

yikes, I screwed up, whoops, I flubbed that

on your left, no right, frick! dammit

I get those mixed up by habit

Franz Ferdinand, shot in the head

Basic ass duke reppin' simple cause and effect

I'm like if Dr Frankenstein and Rueben Goldberg ever met

killed by my creation but with 20 extra steps

Oops, I'm sorry, my fault, my bad

yikes, I screwed up, whoops, I flubbed that

on your left, no right, frick! dammit

I get those mixed up by habit

Someday I'll get out of my way

Someday I'll get out of my way

Sometimes the glass is half full but it was empty when you left it

sometimes your mom's boyfriend's dentures are at the bottom of your beverage

and when a pessimist would spit it up and curse his rotten luck

the desperate would suck it up and plug his nose and chug

Oops, I'm sorry, my fault, my oops

yikes, I oops up, whoops, I flubbed that

on your left, oops right, frick! dammit

I get those mixed up by habit

Someday I'll get out of my way

Someday I'll get out of my way

Another Domino! fallin while you're walking away

Another Domino! falls and you just call it a game

Another Domino! Falls and it was never the same

Another Domino! Falls And you're absolved of the blame

Oops, I'm sorry, oops my oops my bad

oops you, I screwed oops, whoops, I oops

on your left oops, no oops, I...

I get those mixed up!

I said: Oops, I'm oops my fault my bad, my oops

yikes screwed up oops I flubbed that

on your oops, whoops oops, frick, dammit

I get oops oops oops oops dammit

Someday I'll get out of my way

Someday I'll get out of my way

Someday I'll get out of my own way (oops)

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: JMCC

Prompt Page: Happy Days -> George Lucas -> San Diego Comic-con

Lyrics:

let's go to jam mechanic comic con

let's go to jam mechanic comic con

meet me in gary Indiana

Bring the hydra and alpaca

let's go to jam mechanic comic con it's where we belong

You'll see cowboys and vampires

Socialist mayors

Board games, puppets and smoke detectors

A liberal kitty and a family dog

Getting their shit rocked by ichard noir

AND IF YOU GET HUNGRY WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED

An army of dead dads eating popcorn

I think curdled milkteeth is what happened to john

Cthulhu stuffing his mouth with some balls

Shimmy to the left cause captain stanley's got a gun

LET'S GO TO JAM MECHANIC COMIC CON

...

AND AFTER DARKKKK

Amelia earhart's doing white lines

With a guy in the corner looks a little like a lion

Agamemnon's laying pipe but he's just warming up

Here's you at a party with my uncle in a headlock

An angel and a devil are making out hard

Odin's in the garbage patch getting pardoned

Someone's fur prince got stuck in cement

The angel and the devil are making out again

LET'S GO TO JAM MECHANIC COMIC CON

oh and wikipede is also here

They Jam now? They Jam now! Listen to find out who gets got (Hint: It's not Jason). We talk Batman vs Darth Vader and confidently make up facts about robots

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

Our Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

and follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc!

Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: High Note

Prompt Page: Anachronism -> Retcon -> Happy Days #Chuck Cunningham Syndrome

Lyrics:

Going out on a high note, callin' it quits

don't wait for the moment we wish that we did

they'll be sad that its over (but glad it exists)

don't get caught hanging on when the alternative is

Someone come get your boy wayne gretzky

his grasp on fractions is at best a bit sketchy

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take?

Can I see your calculator, Wayne?

if you don't shoot you can't miss, can't mess up

let them think you're the best of what you've done

not what you'll do when you've got nothing left to prove

just quit while you're ahead

[Chorus]

Maybe we should've cut the mics at the first standing ovation

should've packed away our picnics before the end of the parade

cuz when you watch it peter out and now the band has long since passed

the confetti on the ground begins to look a lot like trash

if the magic's in the middle it means you went a bit too far

lets go home at intermission, leave the people wanting more

But will they notice you're missing? will they notice you're gone

will they send out a search party or convince themselves you're not

will they notice you're missing? will they notice you're gone?

everyone reminisces whether you like it or not

whether you're ready or not

Going out on a high note, callin' it quits

don't wait for the moment we wish that we did

they'll be sad that its over (but glad it exists)

don't get caught hanging on when the alternative is

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: Stones

Prompt Page: Immunotherapy -> Organ Transplantation -> Robotic Surgery

Lyrics:

hey

can you hear me

I've been waiting for your call

there is nothing on this rock and

I am slowly breaking down

I don't think you

ever taught me

how to fix these faulty things

Now I am rusting

I'm eroding

I am code upon a screen

Somewhere 40 million miles from here

This planet, barren and lonely

This body, weathered and dull

This mission barely makes sense to me

Guess I'll just check the manual

These arms extending out forward

Reaching for something unknown

Waving up at a blue dot in the sky

Hey guys am I ever coming home?

hey

is it okay

if I miss you,

I don't want you to feel like I'm a burden

when I call you just to talk

I am pulling at my wires

trying to find what makes me tick

figure I might plug the right thing into the right place by mistake

And floating in the burnt red air

Somewhere 40 million miles from here

That planet, emerald and sapphire

This body, shiny and new

This mission finally over and

I rest in the cold light of the moon

These tracks extending out backward

Show all the places I've gone

But each hill's the same as the last one

Hey guys am I ever coming home

This planet, barren and lonely

This body, weathered and dull

This mission barely makes sense to me

There must be something I'm missing

One last unoverturned stone

Hey guys am I ever coming home?

The world will never be the same after this episode. We're here to talk shop and hawk sauce in the 6th episode of szn 4.

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

and follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc!

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: Flattering!

Prompt Page: Poison Ivy -> Allergy -> Immunotherapy

Lyrics:

I don't begrudge flat-earthers cuz I think that they're crazy or insane its just

a pity for their party thats based purely on their laziness

cause there's mountains of evidence that help make it clear

that our planet's a shape and that shape is a sphere

and I fear that insisting we've already won

will prevent us from doing whats yet to be done

cause I have a dream and I need you to get with it

earth isn't flat and if you, too, are sick of it

Join Us, Help Us, make coins and coasters jealous

The earth isn't flat (yeah, you don't have to tell us)

When there's no way, here's our will:

we won't die on this hill

We're not Flat Earthers... we're earth-flatteners

we'll get much further than that tin foil hat of yours

We work all day to achieve the great flattening

a pancake shape is a bit more... Flattering!

There's no subscription fees, neither monthly nor annual

just one flat rate and we hand you the manual

we'll start with the mountains 'cause how could we not

when the low-hanging fruit is the highest of rocks

once we're smooth as a cue ball we'll need to start kneeding

then plan the next steps at the quarterly meeting

cause I have a dream and now you're in the thick of it

the earth isn't flat and we're all just plane sick of it

[Chorus]

We work all day to achieve the great flattening

a pancake shape is a bit more... Flattering!

and faith can move mountains but damn, when I'm done with 'em

moles will look down on the ground that's become of them

When you had a dream and no one understood it

to get back at all who have told you you couldn't

Join us, Help us, we employ the overzealous

The earth isn't flat yet, and damn does that compel us

head to china, grab your chisel and I will meet you in the middle

we're not flat-earthers, we're earth flatteners...

I have a dream, but whether its happening

you all believed, and damn is it... Flattering!

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: Someone's Gonna Change The World

Prompt Page: War on Terror -> Misnomer -> Anachronism

Lyrics:

open up the curtains let the darkness in

the emperor expired in his bed

and now the power vacuum that was left by him

and filling in the air above our heads

Gunships littering in the sky

Fuel cells glittering like diamonds

And all us ordinary folk

Gathering below

Oh oh oh

And we've got fire in our eyes

Up there someone's gonna change the world

But the world down here's in short supply

Who do you expect us to rise up against?

The armies or the admirals or the gods?

Might as well suggest we turn the river running through the town back on itself

and flood the mountain tops

Mainsails blocking out the moon

Spent shells falling like a heavy rain

And all us ordinary folk

Gathering below

Oh oh oh

And we've got fire in our eyes

Up there someone's gonna change the world

But the world down here's in short supply

At night I dream like everybody dreams

I wake up I've forgotten what I've seen

No matter who prevails up there above

The meat down here still rots, and the air still tastes the same

Tomorrow there'll be champagne for the rich

But the only thing that trickles down is piss

You could cut the head off every king

The meat down here still rots, and the air still tastes the same

[Chorus]

This is our most unhinged ep 5 yet. We talk superpowers, dark web librarians, and how to recognize when your favorite podcast is incapable of putting out a bad episode.

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Our Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Our Discord

-- SPOILERS BELOW --

--Bug's Song--

Title: Richard Noir

Prompt: Structural Integrity and Failure -> 9/11 -> The War on Terror

Lyrics:

The names ichard, like Richard with No R

I was 2 minutes from flying the coop when

some little bird wanders in out the rain

looking for help

She goes on and on about a strange man

that's popped up in her families neighborhood

she's clearly traveled a long ways for my help

I can tell from her plumage she ain't from 'round here

Whats a rural bird doing so far from home

I ain't got time for bird-house calls

I've never been an early bird but even I know that no good

ever comes from staying out this late

But then she drops the crucial detail that stops me in my tracks

"he ain't moved in a week"

hmm, that is interesting. Anyone who knows anything about man

knows that they are fidgety and quick -- always on the move

Maybe its time to see what happens when this unstoppable force

meets an immovable object

So me and the little bird fly back to her home in the sticks

little farm just west of cityville and we set up an old-fashioned stake out

And sure as sunshine, this ain't no wild goose chase

Theres a man towering over the corn field

Her first instinct is to bury her head in the dirt but

I've crapped on enough statues to know that nothing was ever

gonna get this beast to give chase

That's a scare crow, ya scared crow.

tell your scared folks to be scared no more

this rare foe couldn't hurt a sparrow, ya know?

With that I left her in the rain,

another mystery solved

She shouts after me:

How can I ever repay you, Richard??

I say: It's Ichard, Noir!

-- Matt's Song --

Title: Poison Ivy

Prompt: Magia Naturalis -> Poison -> Poison Ivy

Lyrics:

So you're walking through the woods in the US of A

Got your booty shorts on like you do every day

You get your bare feet rocking, letting the dogs hang out

You got your shirt off too cause it's 100 degrees

Berry picking cause you got a hunger to feed

this is what being free is all about

You're kicking through the forest out on your own

If you remember one thing then remember this poem

If you see three leaves better let it be

cause it's poison ivy

So you're hiking through Australia to a beauty spot

You ain't wearing nothing but your booty shorts

Just you and the sand and the sun on the back of your neck

When out of the corner of your eye

You see a little windy cunt, a slithering guy

You can cross his path or you can turn around and head back

You're kicking through the outback out on your own

If you remember one thing then remember this poem

If the red touches yella, it'll kill a fella

That's a fackin coral snake

So you're picking through the wreckage of humanity's hubris

You've found a stockpile of salt and canned food

Filling your pockets as much as your booty shorts will allow

Your saliva glands ache at the sight of this meal

When up the back of your neck runs a shivering thrill

There is something amiss, a presence malignant and foul

So you're kicking through the deadzone out on your own

If you remember one thing then remember this poem

If it bleeds black flies, best cover your eyes

If it smells like sulphur, don't let it touch ya

If it burns with cold fire, free your heart from desire

Those are lucifer's heralds

Baby it's as easy as 1 2 3

My mnemonics got you jogging all your memories

If you see three leaves better let it be

cause it's poison ivy

In episode 4 we drop all kinds of ancient knowledge and talk about our least-favorite airport

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

Our Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: How to Build a House

Prompt Page: Deep Sea Exploration -> Quenching -> Magia Naturalis

Lyrics:

I'm at the grocery store thumpin' every watermelon in the bin

Dunno what I'm listenin' for but I saw my father do it when I was a kid

He never taught me his tricks so its been hard

cause guess and check only goes so far

And now I have a watermelon of my own

So I'm gonna teach it everything I know

Like how to build a house, how to tie your sneakers

how to walk and talk, and when you gettem, how to brush your little teeth

and when you're wrong, how to say you're sorry

but this list is getting long so we can start it in the morning

when you're old enough to know it, your dad'll show you how

I'll teach you everything you need to know

How to Build A House

But I dunno how to build a house but I can teach ya

when ya need to lean on people and just ask someone for help

the best lesson, while you're malleable, is teaching you how valuable

it is to say: "I don't have to do everything myself"

Because the ancient books of wisdom we're full of men who didn't listen

but they claimed to know how everything worked

they'd say the roof bones connected to the wall bones connected

to the floor bones connected to the Earth, and that's

[Chorus]

Cause you don't know shit kid!

But I can help ya with it

We should start with shapes and colors, how to recognize your mother

but I'm waiting and impatient and I really wanna skip to

How to Grow a Garden

I got some seeds to get you started

We can grow some watermelons, teach each other how to tell when

they are ready or be patient when they're still a bit too hard, and

I can't build a house, unless it is for birds

But I can try to build a home and get you ready for the world

And when you are, I hope you'll do it too

Because you wanna be like me and that is something I would do

When you're old enough to do it, you're gonna show 'em how

Teach 'em what I did and didn't know

How to Build a House

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: Four Stop Signs

Prompt Page: Whippits -> Biomaterial -> Structural Integrity and Failure

Lyrics:

there's a tree growing out of the gutter

in the house across from here

there are cracks in the brick of the big smoke stacks at the ironworks museum

there are bodies in this building's foundations, prophets sick with weather pains

press your ear to the doors or the hardwood floors that swell up when it rains

You are living in the arhythmical heart of the empire

And it's four stop signs at each intersection

And it's all uphill in every direction

Hear the groaning of the city, count the rings around its eyes

Find out how big animals like this can grow before they die

Harvest ivy from the ceiling, drink the damp right off the wall

Become a vessel for whatever's growing in the laundry pile

Scrawl your debut novel longhand on the hulls of subway trains

Serve single malts and double shots for half minimum wage

Get married in the basement, get tetanus for the high

Get sexy new infections just before they go worldwide

You are living in the arrhythmical heart of the empire

And it's four stop signs at each intersection

And it's all uphill in every direction

Kiss yourself goodnight and sneak out

When you're fast asleep and don't come back

Kiss yourself goodnight and sneak out

In Episode 3, we continue on our quest to finish the internet, 2 clicks at a time. We'll be radically honest here: you're going to love both of these songs

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

Our Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

and follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc!

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: Bottle Rocket Astronaut

Prompt Page: 2 Fast, 2 Furious -> Nitrous oxide -> Whippits

Lyrics:

I am Burt (the Urban Bird), I've got one wing that doesn't work

But I've built a bottle rocket that'll lift me off the earth

shoot for the stars? that ain't me. I would settle for that tree

be like everybody else who can get up there easily

If you try to pin me down I will get up off the ground

I am a bottle rocket astronaut and all I wants the same thing

everybody's got already, make it look so easy

I've been gracious, I've been patient

natural selection never saw me comin', baby

I am Burt (the urban bird), I've got one wing that doesn't work

I've got whippets in my nest but if they ask, you never heard that

wanna raid me? they can try -- here's a slice of pumpkin pie

all the while I'm expanding to a full-fledged enterprise

See that goldfish in the birdbath? you get 3 hints to guess who did that

we put a turtle on a mailbox and hedgehog on a trashcan

and we've got funding coming through and big announcements coming soon

we pledge by 2026 we'll put a gopher on the roof

[Chorus]

I am a bottle rocket astronaut and all I wants the same thing

everybody's got already, make it look so easy

I've been gracious, I've been patient

and we've got charlie darwin freakin rollin' in his grave, eeey!

(Little critters in the sky)

(Little critters where they don't belong)

I am Burt (the urban bird), keep me down? it doesn't work.

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: A Mile and Change

Prompt Page: Weather Pains -> NOAA -> Deep Sea Exploration

Lyrics:

tie a cannonball to a fishing line

and toss it overboard

let it sink right to the bottom boys

and discover how deep it goes

and you can swear to the stars with a hand on your heart to

everybody when you get back home

that you touched the bottom of the ocean floor

I know you men, I know you well

When I look at you, I see myself

The coaxing waves, that beckon us in

We'd travel to the ends of the earth just to swing our feet over the edge

And when I sleep, I hear the call

The howling void, beneath our hull

Goes on forever, ha, that's so absurd

and we'll know better, by the time the sun sets we'll know for sure

tie a cannonball to a fishing line

and toss it overboard

let it sink right to the bottom boys

and discover how deep it goes

and you can swear to the stars with a hand on your heart to

everybody when you get back home

that you touched the bottom of the ocean floor

We let it drop, for a mile and change

We didn't talk, as the evening came

And we only stopped cause the line ran tight

Would have kept on going if we could but we got the sense we could have gone all night

And as the morning sun bore down on us

And the ocean yawned, indifferent

It goes on forever, and I haven't slept

Cause I dream of the beasts in the infinite deep and wake in a swear

we tied a cannonball to a fishing line

and tossed it overboard

let it sink over a mile and

and we discovered how deep this goes

now we can swear to the stars with a hand on our heart to

everybody when we get back home

that there isn't any bottom of the ocean floor

floooooooooooooooooooooooooooor

The Jam McAdemy is back in session and we continue our Jorney through Wikipedia. Our research for the songs in this episode is impeccable (trust the experts).

Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we are challenged to write a song demo from scratch every episode.

If you'd like to download the demos we showed off, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠you can go to our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bandcamp⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to pay-what-you-want to support us!

Our Music:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Narcissist Cookbook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bug Hunter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and our brand-new discord is here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

and follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc!

Please rate / review and share the show (and our music) with friends!

-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --

----Bug's Song-----

Title: The Expert

Prompt Page: Optical Illusion -> Phantom Limb -> Weather Pains

Lyrics:

I'm coughin' out the ash and smoke

to tell you that I told you so

Vesuvius was bound to blow

and I felt it in my joints and bones

I felt it in my joints and bones

They said "what makes you the expert?"

is it luck or something else?

Everybody gets hurt when they can't protect themselves

I told you once, I told you twice

i said you must take my advice

what makes me the expert? I was right

about the earthquakes, I was right about the floods

I saw that ice berg coming but the captain didn't budge

I had sensed the huge tsunami that would wipe us off the map

The aches across my body, the alerts before collapse

You're running out of time to listen

ignoring signs and superstitions

What makes you the expert?

Is it luck or something else?

Everybody gets hurt when they can't protect themselves

I told you once, I told you twice

i said you must take my advice

what makes me the expert? I was right

about the warning signs, the subtle ground that shifts

The change in your direction, slow as continental drift

So when you told me it was over The Red Cross was standing by

We had tents and foods and doctors, not a single person died

because when you are so prepared like me, the ground is always high

Your heart is never broken and your feet are always dry

Its not signs or superstition, sometimes its just repetition

that makes you the expert, its not luck, its something else

everybody gets hurt when they can't predict themselves

I told you once, I told you twice

i said you must take my advice

what makes me the expert? I was right

---- Matt's Song -----

Title: Shut Up and Drive

Prompt Page: 1984 -> Rat Torture -> 2 Fast, 2 Furious

Lyrics:

okay you guys have clearly got a history

is it just me or are the windows in here getting kinda misty

the vibes are not exactly off but they're not quite where i thought they'd be

i've got a funny feeling there is something you're not telling me

i don't want to assume, i wouldn't wanna pry

and i don't wanna be the thing that comes between both of you guys

i can leave, it seems to me there's still some meat left on these bones

you can chew each other out all you like when you're alone

shut up and drive

you guys have got a lot to say

but you don't wanna talk so guess you gotta play this game

i won't survive another ride with you i think i'd rather die

i mean it, man

so pull up or shut up and drive

okay, let's do a cold open and cut right to the chase

i've seen a million married couples with less chemistry than this

there are devils, demons, incubi whose blood don't run as hot

all the great lovers of fiction, they would kill for what you've got

but throw a punch and not a kiss, if that's what you have to do

keep your passion under wraps and act like everything is cool

keep pissing nitroglycerine, keep burning it for fuel

keep getting in his face like that, i know you like the view