Who this episode is for:

• Anyone who’s lost someone they couldn’t save
• Those navigating addiction—from the inside or from the sidelines
• Siblings who’ve had to be the strong one
• Moms who’ve done everything and still blame themselves
• Anyone who’s ever made a mess of their life

Episode 25 – “Jordan, Jack in the Box, and the Shit We Carry”

Pondoff’s Anonymous is brought to you by:

• McKelvey Insurance – Real humans, no bullshit. Whether it’s personal or commercial coverage, they work with over 30 companies to find the best rate without screwing you over. Call or text 618-623-0080 or hit the site: https://mckelveyins.com
• LightSource Psychotherapy – Based in Belleville, IL, they offer individual, family, and group therapy. If you’re struggling with addiction, grief, mental health—or just life—check them out: https://findyourlightsource.com

Chris and Jeff are holding it down while Jakob’s on vacation (he’s not sipping margaritas, he’s probably still waiting on his bag at Lambert with a virgin piña colada in hand).

Joining the show is Karissa Jones, a civilian, a sister, and someone who knows the long, brutal road of loving an addict. Her brother Jordan died at 27 after years of battling heroin addiction, bipolar disorder, and the rehab-relapse rinse cycle that so many families know too well. This episode goes deep—into grief, guilt, mental illness, and the kind of trauma that doesn’t let you sleep.

No sugarcoating. No easy answers. Just honesty, dark humor, and some much-needed humanity.

⏱ Timestamp Breakdown

• 0:00 – 6:00 – Chris plugs McKelvey Insurance (https://mckelveyins.com) and LightSource Psychotherapy in Belleville, IL (https://findyourlightsource.com), then drops us right into it.
• 6:01 – 15:00 – God, grief, and all the ways people try to spiritualize survival. Buddhism, Jesus, and why Chris built a “wisdom team.”
• 15:01 – 25:00 – Childhood chaos, stolen cars, Jack in the Box, and Jordan showing up on a mini bike to shut it all down.
• 25:01 – 35:00 – Karissa opens up about finding Jordan’s first suicide notes at 16.
• 35:01 – 45:00 – Attempt two. Karissa becomes the cleanup crew. 20 suicide videos. “I’m not glad I’m alive.”
• 45:01 – 55:00 – Bipolar disorder, self-medicating, and meds that mess you up worse than the illness.
• 55:01 – 1:05:00 – The Florida rehab shuffle. Jordan’s final texts. The relapse days before Thanksgiving.
• 1:05:01 – 1:15:00 – Facebook messages. The worst phone call imaginable. Karissa breaks the news to her mom.
• 1:15:01 – 1:25:00 – The detective confirms it. Karissa holds her mom together while falling apart herself.
• 1:25:01 – 1:35:00 – Why Jordan? Why not Karissa? The questions that never get answered.
• 1:35:01 – END (~1:53:00) – Chris brings it home: “The darkness never extinguishes the light.”

Mentioned in This Episode:

• McKelvey Insurance – https://mckelveyins.com
• LightSource Psychotherapy (Belleville, IL) – https://findyourlightsource.com
• Illinois Recovery Center – https://illinoisrecoverycenter.com