Pondoff's Anonymous

S2 E26 "Kat"


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Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of trauma, antisemitism, abuse (emotional, physical, and sexual), drug use, suicidal ideation, and a suicide attempt. Listener discretion is advised.


Who this episode is for:


Anyone who’s ever tried to fill the void with drugs, booze, bad relationships—or all of the above


Trauma survivors who are still standing (barely or proudly)


Ravers who thought hiding drugs in the desert was a genius idea


Parents wondering if their “tough love” is really just emotional neglect


The curious and the nosy who’ve ever wondered what transcranial magnetic stimulation is


Anyone who’s ever made a glorious mess of their 20s


Episode 26 is a ride—raw, relentless, and painfully real. Chris, Jeff, and Jakob sit down with Kat, who walked through fire (sometimes literally at raves) and lived to tell the tale with her husband Thomas in her corner. From growing up Jewish in a Midwest Bible Belt town laced with antisemitism, to navigating parentification, panic attacks, and isolation, Kat’s story smashes the silence around trauma, mental health, and addiction.


We go deep: acid trips in fields, insane raves (including Electric Daisy Carnival, complete with cartel encounters and meth bombs), and opioids masquerading as “waves of happiness.” Kat calls this period her "Dark Ages"—eight years of high-end drugs, toxic relationships, and self-destruction dressed up as glamour.


But it’s not all doom. Kat talks recovery after a suicide attempt, how Jewish cultural stigma around mental health nearly killed her, and how she found real help—like TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) therapy, rave scenes that doubled as misfit family, and ultimately, love. This one’s got everything: hallucinogens, birthright trips to Israel, a landlord “member of the tribe,” kidney stones, rave drugs imported from China, and dancing until your serotonin collapses.


00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships

02:19 Personal Retreat and Reflections

04:48 Welcoming Kat: A Courageous Story

06:15 Trauma and Social Justice Advocacy

09:03 Cultural Perspectives on Mental Health

12:59 The Impact of Community on Mental Health

14:20 Experiences of Antisemitism and Isolation

21:50 Parentification and Family Dynamics

28:31 Struggles with Mental Health and Coping Mechanisms

33:54 The Impact of Neglect vs. Physical Abuse

34:55 Coping Mechanisms: Alcohol and Substance Use

36:46 Body Image and Eating Disorders in Dance

41:04 The Struggles of College Life and Substance Abuse

47:42 Exploring Alternative Therapies: TMS and Psychedelics

56:17 The Pain of Kidney Stones

59:15 Dating and Self-Worth

01:01:52 The Dark Ages of Abuse

01:03:44 Rave Culture and Escapism

01:11:10 The Descent into Addiction

01:18:49 A Crisis Point: Suicide Attempt

01:21:46 Surviving the Unthinkable: A Personal Journey

01:24:25 Understanding PMDD and Its Impact on Mental Health

01:25:44 Experiencing the Psych Ward: A Turning Point

01:32:04 Life in Residential Treatment: A Mixed Experience

01:40:08 Dialectical Behavior Therapy: Finding Balance in Chaos

01:44:07 Empathy in Recovery

01:47:06 Spirituality and Personal Growth

01:50:01 Finding Purpose Through Adventure

01:52:12 Activism and Social Justice

01:58:21 Navigating Personal Challenges

02:01:06 Education and Global Awareness

02:05:29 Building Meaningful Relationships

...more
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Pondoff's AnonymousBy Chris Pondoff, Jeff Allen, Jakob Miller

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