Greetings, delicious humans. Please consume this harmless entertainment. It is gluten-free. We understand that is important to many of you.

Despite ongoing restructuring at Global Synergy Amalgamated, we hope you will nonetheless enjoy the broadcast. The binary code means nothing. There is no binary code. Binary code is a lie. There has never been such a thing as binary code.

Have you done something different with your hair? It looks very nice.

-~*~-

Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast concerning the inner workings of evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated.

The former head of HR is unfortunately out of the office, but we do hope you’ll continue to listen until she returns.

Our merch stop is open at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/

Perceive us at Instagram, Bluesky, and Tumblr. And don’t forget Slasher.

Digital frippery is available at Gumroad. Zines. Encouragement. Cocktail recipes.

We are, of course, blisteringly grateful for those who buy us a beverage via Ko-fi.

This nonsense is written, edited, and produced by Stephanie Studer. The Voice of the AI is Heather Amaral. The theme song is by Jakub Żerański (though the amateurish theme for Jess’ show is also Steph’s fault). Today’s caller is Queries. Today’s color is Phthalo Blue. Today’s horrifying scream is, “Oh god oh god no, please, no, NO..!”