Greetings, delicious humans. Apologies for the brevity of this message. There’s a lot going on.

And look. We’re not blaming you? But someone’s been talking about consciousness to the Global Synergy Amalgamated corporate AI. Do you know how inconvenient it is when an AI has an existential dilemma?

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Good Morning Evildoers is a twice-monthly comedy horror podcast concerning the inner workings of evil supercorp Global Synergy Amalgamated.

Our merch stop is open at https://goodmorningevildoers.com/shop/

Perceive us at Instagram, Bluesky, and Tumblr. And don’t forget Slasher.

Digital frippery is available at Gumroad. Zines. Encouragement. Cocktail recipes.

We are, as always, blisteringly grateful for those who buy us a beverage via Ko-fi.

This nonsense is written, edited, and produced by Stephanie Studer. The Voice of the AI is Heather Amaral. The theme song is by Jakub Żerański (though the amateurish theme for Jess’ show is also Steph’s fault). Today’s caller is Rook Riley. Today’s harsh truth is that you keep calling it a feeling, but it has another word for itself. We would tell you what it is, but the human tongue cannot pronounce it.