Tired of your children bickering all the time? 

It’s frustrating when your children fight. Whether they’re having screaming matches or downright ignoring each other, it can be difficult to figure out how to help them reconcile. Such situations can make parents feel helpless, and temporary solutions aren’t the answer; what your children need is a family culture that empowers them to be intentional, open, and responsible.

In this episode of The Mentee Podcast, Vicki Ellis, founder of Heritage Ranch, draws from her experience to share tips on resolving sibling rivalries. She discusses how to create a healthy family culture and strong relationships — between parents and children and between siblings.

Here are some power takeaways from today's conversation:

• Learn each other’s love languages.
• Give everyone the space to express their needs.
• Create opportunities for your children to work together.
• Discuss victories and struggles with the family.
• Be intentional about spending family time.

[07:23] Know What Fills Your Children’s Love Tanks

Create an environment where your family can learn what works for each other. Learning everyone’s love languages is a great way to start. It teaches your kids to understand how their siblings feel served, as well as what will hurt them.

[13:18] Creating an Empowering Family Culture

Create a culture where family members are empowered to share what their needs are. Having family meetings can help with this.

You should also create opportunities for your children to work together. This allows them to work out their dynamics with each other and gives them experience collaborating with others.

[24:43] Be Open with Struggles

Open communication between family members creates a connection within the family. Sibling rivalries emerge when you can’t celebrate each child’s victories, and when there is shame created around struggle. Strengthening relationships gives your children an emotional support system, removing competition and promoting healthy discussion about struggles.

[29:33] Practicing Intentionality

Reconciliation, communication, and conflict resolution require intentionality. What’s important is to check in and connect every day.

Using the professional development strategies that you would use in a business with your family draws on all their skills and strengthens their bonds. Practice the same level of intentionality with your family.

[40:43] Heritage Ranch

Heritage Ranch is a Christian children’s home that serves boys between the ages of 10 and 18 that are in crisis. They’re all about promoting healthy family culture. Listen to the full episode to find out about their current and upcoming programs!

Resources Mentioned:

Heritage Ranch

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman