How can some people be so persuasive while others can't seem to convince anyone to do anything? Persuasion is part art and part science. Some people are born with the charisma that the rest of us lack. But anyone can become more persuasive with the right approach. Anyone that can read or write can influence others effectively.

What would it mean to your professional and personal life if you could reliably influence others? Few skills are as wide-ranging in their benefits.

Persuade others to your way of thinking:

1. Create a connection with those you wish to influence. Whether you're trying to influence one person or a thousand, it's important to create rapport. The level of trust and connection you can establish will directly affect your ability to influence others. This is an important first step. There are many ways to establish a connection.

* Show what you have in common. 

* Mirror the other person's body language. 

* Be honest and genuine. 

* Show others that you can be trusted.

2. Be convincing. You might feel small and insecure, but presenting yourself that way won't convince anyone that you are worth following. There are several ways we show a lack of conviction, such as body language, using qualifiers like "I think, probably, maybe and possibly," and lack of eye contact.

* Stand tall, look them in the eye, and present your opinion like it's an obvious fact. Your confidence is key.

3. Use reciprocity to your advantage. Studies show that you're much more likely to return a favor after someone does something for you. That's why the people that knock on your door and try to sell you vinyl siding give you a pen or a magnet. They know that you'll be more likely to purchase from them.

* Do something for the person you're trying to persuade. You might by them lunch, drive them to the airport, or let them borrow a cup of sugar. Do something for them before you attempt to persuade them. Your odds of success will go up dramatically.

4. Consider their interests. Even the most noble of people wonder what's in it for them. Make it clear what they'll be receiving out of the deal. Your neighbor might not want to sign off on your idea of building a fence between your respective properties. However, he might change his mind if you can show him the benefits he'll enjoy.

* You might point out that your dog will stay out of his yard and stop dropping presents.

* It might help the resale value of his house.

* It might cut down on the weeds in your yard spreading to his.

* It will increase his level of privacy.

5. Be a good listener. The other party matters a lot. We tend to only consider ourselves when we're trying to be influential, but this is a grave mistake. Open your ears and close your mouth. When you understand the needs of the other person, you'll know how to influence them.

6. Establish yourself as an authority. If you've spent time with the Dalai Lama and wrote three books on meditation, your opinions on meditation are more likely to be respected. Dressing in a suit would convey authority in the right setting.

Persuasion is a highly researched field. There are numerous resources if you wish to learn more. The ability to influence others is useful both in and outside of work. Invest some time in practicing this valuable skill. You'll be glad you did!

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As human beings, we are inherently flawed by our very nature. We are destined to make some choices along the way that ends up being the wrong one, these include big hiccups as well as the minuscule parts of day-to-day life. Some of us tend to dwell on these mistakes after they occur, to the point that they actually interfere with our personal progress and growth moving forward. Fortunately, another part of our nature is the ability to use mistakes and wrong choices to our benefit when similar situations present themselves in the future. 

Mistakes are a completely unavoidable occurrence, and it is so important to remember that they are OKAY. Although it may seem like making it a mission to avoid messing up at all costs is an effective way to maintain efficiency and fulfillment, this practice is actually a surefire way to leave you exhausted and drained in the motivation department. 

Acknowledge Your Mistakes

The worst thing one can do after making a mistake is to refuse to accept accountability for it. The most common culprits for this tactic are ego and shame (Garden of Eden story, anyone?). Human beings have a plethora of self-preservation tactics hardwired into our DNA, one of these being our pride. While it can be difficult to own up to your mistake, you absolutely must do so if you are going to forgive yourself and not be hindered any further. Instead of using all of your energy forcing it to the back of your mind, telling yourself it wasn’t your fault, and hiding your actions from those affected by it, acknowledge the error of your ways. Instead, use this energy to self-evaluate what you should have done in the situation and how you will avoid the same mistake in the future. 

Avoid Negative Self-Talk

For the vast majority of individuals, the biggest critic does not come in the form of an employer, spouse, or family member. This role is usually played by none other than you. When we mess up or don’t live up to a predetermined expectation in mind, we are often entirely too harsh on ourselves, mentally bringing up the mistake mentally long after anyone else does. If you are going to truly forgive yourself and move forward in a positive way, speaking to your inner self in a patient, loving way is a necessity. 

The Personal Golden Rule

“Treat others as you would want to be treated” is a tried and true method when dealing with other people. Ironically, this practice is usually far more difficult to adhere to when it comes to dealing with yourself. When you have made a mistake, take a second to think of it in terms of “treat yourself as you would want to treat others” instead. Assuming you are making an effort to be a decent human being, chances are you are more than capable of forgiving someone else for a mistake they have made. Imagine what you would tell another person if you were trying to let them know that you forgive their error, that it is not the end of the world. Notice how easy it becomes to forgive yourself when you place your own situation in this context. 

Life is far too short to let past choices hold you back from the person you want to become. You are GOING to make mistakes in this life. Forgive yourself, and when you fall, fall forward!

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Whether you are a leader in your company, own your own business, or are just looking to super-charge your personal development, you can use your growth mindset to help you get ahead and accomplish your goals. Being growth-oriented means that you value learning in yourself, and you can parlay this into how you interact with others, how you get results, and how well you achieve success. Here are just a few of the ways your growth mindset can help you realize your dreams. 

Encourage Yourself and Others to Take Risks

When you are ready to make substantial changes, you could improve your efforts by taking significant risks. Innovation and gains are achieved when you really push your boundaries. Taking risks yourself and setting the conditions that allow others around you to be willing to take risks, too, is an integral part of getting ahead. Whether in your business or personal life, you can lead by example when it comes to learning from your risks and being open to opportunities. Even your children can learn from this behavior. 

Surround Yourself with Learners

When you are trying to be more growth-oriented in your own life, it is beneficial to have others with this outlook around you. And the more people you work with and spend time with that have grown mindsets, the more you will develop the ability to see possibilities and opportunities in life. Seek out mentors, friends, co-workers, and people on your business team who are growth-oriented, and you can work together to support each other’s efforts to challenge yourself strategically. 

Develop Skills Outside of Your Work

When you adopt a growth mindset, any type of new learning can fuel your passion and spur your personal development. Encouraging yourself and others to explore new interests and develop skills outside of their daily work can help you all in the various aspects of your life. Learning new hobbies or exploring new interests helps you collaborate with others, gives you fresh ideas on how to solve problems, and keeps your brain active and energized. As a leader, the more varied your interests and knowledge, the more effective you will be. 

Fuel Commitment from Others

When you encourage those around you to reach their full potential, they become more invested in helping you succeed, as well. Your employees, team members, and family will all be more determined to help you realize your goals when they know you are equally committed to assisting them in realizing their own. When you value learning and hard work in others, they will reward you with outstanding performance and commitment. 

Gain Insight from Outside Perspectives

A growth mindset helps you embrace what you can learn from others, including those with very different perspectives from you. When you are leading an initiative or working to accomplish a goal, those with differing backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints are an excellent resource. They see things that you cannot and can help you solve problems in innovative ways, but you must be open to learning from them. 

Stay on Top of Your Game

When you adopt a growth-oriented way of thinking, you set yourself up to be a continuous learner, someone who will always be curious and engaged. When you develop a habit of lifelong learning, you stay fresh in your field, you are up on the latest advancements and research, and you value continuing development at home and work. Those who keep learning are more likely to remain successful for more extended periods, and a willingness to learn is the most-cited trait people look for in leaders. To stay strategic and place yourself always at the ready, having a growth mindset will never steer you wrong. 

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Resiliency in sales speaks to our ability to overcome the difficulties we experience in sales. In order to successfully bounce back from the difficulties we face when selling, we have to be armed with the right attitude. 

Possessing a ‘Yes I Can’ attitude increases our likelihood of success when we face adversity and increases the likelihood of us responding to adversity in a healthy manner. Thus, mastering this attitude as a facet of resilience improves our overall resilience significantly. The following outlines several key elements that aid in the development of a ‘Yes I Can’ attitude.

Optimism

Confidence

Goal setting

Awareness

Ultimately, the development of a ‘Yes I Can’ attitude will result in enhanced resiliency in sales. As we strive to be more optimistic, and more confident, and to set SMART goals (Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) we will improve our belief that ‘We Can’ when faced with adversity. It is this attitude that will give us the strength we need to continue pressing forward when the going gets tough, and this attitude will ultimately help us overcome adversity in sales. 

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Having to give someone bad news can be hard. Hearing bad news in sales is hard too. Some salespeople are resilient. They accept bad news from their customers, process it, and bounce back or move beyond it. Other salespeople have poor resilience. They don’t accept bad news well, and it can make them unable to cope. How do you know if you or someone you care about had poor resilience in sales? Psychologists have identified these five signs of poor resilience:

1) Irritability and Overreaction

2) Dwelling on Problems

3) Trouble Sleeping

4) Persistent Illness

5) Substance Abuse

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You might be skilled, talented, educated, and brilliant as a salesperson. But, if you are not resilient, persistent, and gritty, you will never make the most of those other attributes. Resilience and grit might be the missing ingredients in your quest for success in sales.

Try these techniques to increase your resilience and grit:

1. Stay in contact with others.

2. Have high hopes.

3. Know that the most successful people are those with the most resilience.

4. Take excellent care of yourself.

5. Be active, not passive.

6. Give yourself mental breaks.

7. Remind yourself of all the adversity you've overcome since childhood.

8. Live a life that revolves around your interests.

9. Hang around with resilient people.

What could you do with your career in sales if you were the most resilient and gritty person you knew? You would be unstoppable!

Most salespeople spend their time trying to improve their skills. It might be more productive to learn how to apply your skills regardless of the situation. Build resilience and grit into your sales career and enjoy greater success.

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Life has a way of always making us doubt ourselves, it can rattle you until you feel like you cannot go on. That is probably the reason why we often feel the only way to survive is to just stop working towards our goals. The hope for progress, growth, and success just dwindles until you decide throwing in the towel is the best decision you can make.

The art of giving up is one our minds learn over the years by meeting challenges and being subjected to failure and disappointments. Sometimes we get to a point where we just conclude it is easier to let go now than deal with the pain of losing later. The repeated thoughts of quitting end up mapping a pattern in our minds. We get hammered into the irresistible cycle of giving up when challenged or when we meet the smallest huddle in our path.

In the mind of a quitter; the words perseverance, persistence, and determination become foreign. In the face of any adversity, the viable choice for quitters will always be to give up. When the mind is infested with the quitting bug it automatically loses its fluidity, your mind becomes static and stops dreaming or looking beyond what you think are your capabilities.

Failure just like success can be predictable. Our actions and efforts determine the kind of result we are most likely to obtain. Once you have chosen to take the easy road, you automatically become a failure at whatever it is you were working on. Keep in mind that failing is not the worst thing that could happen to someone. If you fail once, try again next time and you will have a double chance of succeeding.  However, once you quit you have already reached the end of the line.

Quitters have their language; they speak in excuses as they try to justify their choices. Here are some of the most common phrases among quitters:

1. What if l fail?

2. I do not have the time now

3. There is no reason to go on

4. I am not good enough for this

5. I’m not smart enough

6. I can`t find motivation or inspiration

7. Maybe it is not meant for me

8. No one understands what l am going through so they cannot help

9. They are doing better than l am

10. I am too tired

 

 

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We all need some sort of motivation to keep moving forward during hardships, pain, and disappointments. That is why many people go out of their way to build relationships with people they believe they can rely on when things get tough. They need to know that they have reliable friends or family they can lean back on but what happens when you don’t have that kind of liberty? What happens when you don’t have anyone to pick you up when you fall and encourage you to keep going?

Know that that is the time you need to rely on yourself, be your own motivation, and encourage yourself to go forward. Here are some phrases you can use to lift yourself up even when you can’t:

“I have what it takes.”

“I am stronger today than I was yesterday.”

“Tomorrow is another chance.”

“I am stronger than this.”

“I know where I am going.”

“I have come so far.”

“There’s still a lot that I haven’t tried yet.”

“My feelings don’t determine my actions.”

“My Destiny awaits.”

“I still have so much to discover.”

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But by all means, keep moving.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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Persuasion isn't just for salespeople. You're influencing others all the time. You might be influencing your kids to do their homework or an employee to spend his Saturday working. When you can influence others effectively, you can get more done and life is easier.

Use time-tested techniques to influence the people in your career, your customers, your colleagues, your leaders:

1. Understand reciprocity. There are few psychological phenomena better documented than the idea of reciprocity. In a nutshell, people are more likely to do something for you after you've done something for them. We tend to return favors. 

2. Ask nicely. Saying "please" can get you further than you might think. Avoid acting as if you're deserving of assistance. Ask nicely and say "thank you" afterward. 

3. Tell the truth. It's easier to influence others when you're willing, to be honest. It's very challenging to lie successfully, especially to those that know you well. Honesty is often rewarded.

4. Do what you can on your own. We're more likely to give assistance to those who are working hard. It's easier to feel compassion for someone that's already doing everything they can to help themselves.

5. Treat others with kindness. We like to go along with those we admire and respect. We resist those that we view as unkind. You're presented with countless opportunities each day to be a pleasant and helpful human being. Take advantage of them. People will be more easily influenced by you.

6. Tell them what's in it for them. People are wondering, "What's in it for me?" most of the time. It's wonderful when people are willing to do your bidding out of the goodness of their hearts, but be realistic. If there's a benefit to the other person, make it known.

7. Smile. Studies have shown that smiles open doors. Smile and people are more likely to respond positively. You'll feel better, too. Smile at the beginning of any interaction, unless inappropriate.

8. Seek agreement. Find common ground. If you can get the other person to agree to several of your statements or ideas, they'll be more likely to agree to your primary request. Understand what the other party wants and needs. Find similarities between you and the other party.

9. Compliment them. A few sincere compliments can appeal to the ego. Make the other person feel good, and they'll be more likely to make you feel good in return. Avoid getting carried away, but a simple compliment can be powerful.

10. Timing is everything. Would you ask your spouse for a big favor when you come home two hours late from your golf outing? Unlikely. There's a time and place for everything. Be wise.

11. Be reasonable. It's a lot easier to borrow a dollar than it is to borrow a million. Keep your request reasonable, and it will likely be granted. If you want something big, be prepared to provide something big.

Influencing others is a learnable skill. Those with good skills have an easier path through life. Persuasion skills can be applied at work, home, in all relationships, and even to interactions with strangers. Some people are seemingly born with the ability to lead and influence others. The rest of us have to learn. Now is the perfect time to get started.

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Researchers and psychologists have been studying the influence of mindset on learning and personal fulfillment for decades. Based on over 30 years of research, Carol Dweck formulated a theory of mindset that states that we all lean toward one of two primary mindsets. 

The fixed mindset us one that believes our talents and traits are innate, they are determined at birth, and they do not develop much over our lifetimes. 

In contrast, a growth mindset believes that all our abilities, skills, and traits can be developed throughout our lives, which means learning occurs at all stages of living. 

To implement a growth mindset, you need a regular practice of attitude and behavior that, over time, can change how you see the world. Here are five ways you can start cultivating your growth mindset today. 

#1. Adopt a Positive Outlook

#2. Stop Avoiding Challenge

#3. Celebrate Your Hard Work and Successes

#4. Practice Self-Awareness

#5. Reconsider Your Position on Failure

Most people have an extremely negative attitude about failure. They assume it says something significant about them, that it is something that will “mark” them forever, and that it is something to fear or avoid at all costs. You must see failure as a stepping stone, a learning opportunity, and welcome failures for all you can learn from them and therefore grow. 

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