Sexual health and consent educator Samantha Bitty arrives just in time for David to talk about his cat and share a half-baked take on the ethics of pet ownership. Samantha relates a mutual dislike of dogs to the reason David and she are childless. The two discuss why women face pushback from doctors when asking for sterilization treatment. Samantha gives the scoop about a recent surgery and explains why she chose to decline pain management with narcotics. The two discuss sobriety, focusing on "recovered addict math." The discussion ends with this: Is masturbation ever procrastination in a capitalist society?

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