This is Part 2 of my conversation with Joy — the first guest on 100 Child Voice. In Part 1 we talked about emotions, trust, and what children really need from their parents. This time, we go into her social world.
We talk about social media — not from an adult perspective, but from a teenager who lives in it every day. We talk about what happens when you're scrolling through everyone else's perfect life and you weren't even invited. We talk about the kind of bullying that doesn't leave bruises but still does damage. And we talk about why most kids choose not to tell anyone.
We cover:
- How social media creates insecurities — seeing everyone's lives through a screen and picturing them in an "impossible perfect way"
- The fake persona teenagers build online and why they do it
- What teenagers actually miss vs wouldn't miss if social media disappeared tomorrow
- The Australian social media ban — is it working? (Joy says no)
- What it feels like to be left out and watch everyone post about the party you weren't invited to
- The popularity contest — what teenagers do to fit in, including getting in trouble with police and using substances
- Whether that kind of belonging is real belonging (Joy says no)
- The everyday bullying that's harder to name — name calling, teasing, quietly excluding someone
- Why covert bullying happens more than physical bullying but gets taken less seriously
- What happens when you report it — "you're considered an overreactor or a liar"
- Why kids stop telling teachers and parents about bullying
- What teachers actually see vs what they miss
- The difference between boys and girls in friendship conflict
- Why groups of three always seem to end in two fighting over one
Some things Joy said that stayed with me:
"We create our own insecurities through that."
"You would have this fake persona online which just seems so great. But in reality you could be struggling really bad and no one would know."
"It builds up this sense of not belonging."
"If you say something about it, it doesn't count as bullying and you're considered an overreactor or a liar."
"They're just scared it's going to escalate instead of de-escalating it if they tell an adult."
"Some teachers just don't think something that bad could happen to someone this small."
"Most of the times parents have no idea."
If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there — we talked about emotional validation, the wall children build when their feelings get brushed off, and what Joy calls "stable ground."
