I named this one Anxiety then I wondered if I might have already named one that so I looked and yes, #38 was titled Anxiety so I'll call this one Anxiety2. I may have an Anxiety3 before my life is done.... In this episode I decide to let the episodes go longer than 15-20 minutes and not worry about that, and I talk (to myself) about my issues, about the summer, and about tire pressure.

I felt like making audio tonight so I collaged some audio of teaching my son to drive, my daughters band concert, an uber driver in new york in the summer of 2016, me rambling about tile making, and the best podcast moment of all time.... It's background sound while you do stuff sorta listening.

I go visit the kindergarten and first grade children. I spin a couple pizza doughs and talk about my job. Man, it's great to hear the kids going nuts in this one.

I return from Spring Break at the beach to go to work. I feel the heavy weight of my responsibilities and I gather sounds from work. I like restaurant sounds. I like the sound of the dishes, chopping vegetables, the kitchen banter, the customers.... So I play some sounds from work. I like simple things in life, but I feel the weight of adulthood because I have so many things I am juggling. This is a simple audio journal. It's what I set out to do from the beginning, record my moods and thoughts.

An unfortunate event at work led to a disagreement with some employees which made me really depressed and upset. I left town for a couple days to get over it. I made the recording here but almost decided against releasing it because it really doesn't say all it should and says a lot of things that are useless. The problem I had at work had nothing to do with illegal immigrants I only use this example to demonstrate the sort of divide we have in society and how no one seems able to accept the other side.

I am usually so much more positive than my audio journals have shown lately. I am generally in a bad place lately because the fire really threw me for a loop and then on top of all the troubles that is causing me I am dealing with being made out to be the bad guy from a work situation where I am clearly NOT the bad guy. Telling the story of what happened would have made a much better story but I wasn't in a place where I could tell it over again and now I just want to move on and not make more audio or even think about this anymore if possible.

Raw emotion and real life is sloppy, like this audio journal. 9 days after the initial event I am still in a slump from it. The fact that progress on my new building seems stalled is making matters worse.

This is the third time I am trying to upload this track. The last 2 times they had saved wrong and parts were missing. I don't understand how I can save them then go to upload and whole parts just gone? But it's probably because my mind is so scrambled. I hate to be so negative but this is an audio journal and I'm in a bad place. This would be a good therapy if I didn't keep going back into it looking for the lost audio.

My old friend Edy sends me some audio from China where he's been living for a while now.

There are 2 buildings on my restaurant property. Building A caught fire Feb 28, 2012. Building B caught fire Dec 5th, 2016. What a nightmare.

SO hard to describe this event but here's what I got on the audio side. Music by Edy as always but these are tracks I already had.

I want to move past this fire but I know it will take some time. I'm looking forward to 2017.

Lately I have been sending my audio to my friend Edy to play music for. I sent him Thanksgiving 2016 audio right after Thanksgiving and a few weeks later he says he thinks it's fine without added music. I feel relief and release the audio I had (adding a bit of Edy music in the beginning) and start working on something new.

THEN Edy send me HIS re-editing of the original and I listen and find it to be SO much better than mine. I wonder if I should replace the original or release a second version of same audio story. I decide to release this "updated" version of the last episode.

The Edy edit version.

Thanks Edy (who likely will never see this thank you)

Just a few recordings from our Thanksgiving Family Reunion trip to Panama City, Florida.