Saturday Morning Deathgrip

In this week’s episode of Saturday Morning Deathgrip, the gang is once again tortured by another of Giancarlo’s terrible suggestions – My Little Pony Tales. At this point, we’re relatively certain that Giancarlo’s entire being goes against the Geneva Convention. And, as soon as this post goes live, we will look into having him charged with some war crimes.

Fortunately, while we’re getting Giancarlo deported to The Hague, you can feast your ears on scintillating discussions regarding horse menstruation, the origins of Plessy vs. Ferguson and the (obvious) sex appeal of centaurs. You’d be surprised how easy it was for us to string together such seemingly disparate topics (actually, if you’re an avid listener, you would not)!

Additionally, our interview segment features the illustrious Rita HAYworth and Mr. C. Biscuit, the Oprah and Sumner Redstone of the horse and pony media world. Despite having a bevy of Cable Ace awards under their saddles, they clearly have very little understanding of how the human world interacts with horses. And, spoiler alert: one of them has major gastrointestinal issues (hint: it’s Rita).

Thanks so much for listening! Once again, you can stream SMDG via iTunes, Stitcher or our own lovely little website. And if our blog and podcast leave you salivating for more, you can follow us on Twitter @SMDGpodcast.

On this week's episode of Saturday Morning Deathgrip we watched C.O.P.S. and unlike many of cartoons we put ourselves through, this show was surprisingly un-horrible for a change. In addition to learning about Empire City and it's cybernetic team of law enforcers, we also learned that Giancarlo doesn't know what the word "slobberknocker" means and joins a long list of many, many other words. However, that is not the only shameful fact that gets revealed, as we also learn that Sean is from Georgia. Also Andrea lets us know she has confidence issues but that hardly seems like a revelation. Speaking of hard, our booking agent Mort Fisherman really worked his butt off to travel six years into the future, to the year 2020 (when the C.O.P.S takes place) and brought us back a pair of Empire City's most notorious criminals for an exclusive interview. They tell us all about how blimps come back in a big way and make a pretty unconvincing argument about how the deceased rapper Big Pun was more muscle than wads of fat. Somewhere in the middle of all that Tim tries to start his old beef with Giancarlo on why candlepin bowling is better than regular bowling. Knives are drawn and blood is shed but that's what happens when rivalries as deep as this come up to surface. I guess it's safe to say in this kill or be killed world, we could all use a little more C.O.P.S. Thanks for listening!

In this latest episode of SMDG, Giancarlo manages to trick the rest of the gang into watching a cartoon version of the comic strip Blondie. We quickly discover why only two episodes were ever produced. And we come to the conclusion that Giancarlo is never to be trusted again (in fairness, we should have come to this realization years ago).

As Giancarlo tries in vain to defend his choices and Blondie’s artistic sensibilities, we manage to broach the staunch conservatism of Tim’s hometown newspaper, express incredulity at why anyone would draw a depressing comic strip (looking at you Funky Winkerbean) and hear about Andrea’s convoluted attempts to prank an ex-coworker using the U.S. postal service.

And speaking of the U.S. postal service (please take a moment to applaud this segue), our guest just happens to be one Mr. Beasley - the Bumstead’s mail carrier. How did SMDG land such a get? Lucky for us, our booking agent Mort Fisherman has a long history with Mr. Beasley (they both sat for the civil service exam at the same time and shared a jelly sandwich on a break). Anyway, turns out Mr. Beasley has sustained a lot of mental trauma. Spoiler alert: he might even believe that Jimmy Carter is still president!

Once again, you can continue listening to ol’ SMDG via iTunes, Stitcher or even stream it from our very own website (if you didn’t applaud for the aforementioned segue, please applaud for technology now). And, if the blog and podcast aren’t enough, you can follow us on Twitter @SMDGpodcast.

In this latest episode of SMDG, we continue paying homage to upcoming films (we are addicted to homage!) as we subject ourselves to the cartoon version of Godzilla, co-produced by Tim's beloved Hanna-Barbera. The only bright spot is that the show might have helped to curb our aforementioned homage addiction. In other words, Godzilla could possibly be cartoon methadone.

Of course, fear not; we move far beyond the potential palliative effects of Godzilla. Indeed, we address the rumors that Giancarlo may or may not be a phantom of Tim, Sean and Andrea's collective imaginations. Tim and Sean also surprise themselves with the depth of their knowledge regarding the original Godzilla. Not surprisingly, Andrea had even less knowledge than we previously assumed. And, once again, we're forced to lower the bar we set for her (it's now buried underground). Oh, and we cover the glory that is the animated mustache. By this point of the synopsis, you're probably wondering how the episode could get any better. After all, can you out-gold gold? This was a trick question; you cannot. However, you can certainly increase your gold supply. And our booking agent Mort Fisherman came straight from the (gold) mines with this week's interview. Indeed, we had the privilege of talking with Godzooky, Godzilla's nephew and a prominent cast member of the show. Join us as we learn how Godzooky segued from Hollywood to a Toyota dealership in Trenton, NJ.

In honor of the upcoming films Amazing Spider-Man 2 and X-men: Days of Future Past, we (foolishly) decide to once again test the waters of Spider-man and His Amazing Friends. We were promised a crossover with X-men. And, as you can imagine, this promise was only partially delivered.

However, we do manage to push through the heartbreak to discuss the type of pants Juggernaut may or may not wear, Aunt May's stress levels while unknowingly hosting the X-Men and whether or not a quickie can cause blindness (we're divided on the answer). To the great delight and surprise of Sean, Tim and Giancarlo (Andrea remained unimpressed), we managed to nab a visit from Professor Charles Xavier for our "Conversations with Stars" segment. Amid some hard-hitting, Pulitzer-worthy questions, Prof X reveals the real story behind his paralysis, dishes on mutant control of Hollywood and discusses window treatments with Andrea. And Giancarlo manages to invent hand wheelchairs, a creation that even the folks behind the American Disabilities Act would scoff at! You can listen via iTunes, Stitcher or, if you're feeling saucy, stream the podcast right from this very page (oooh technology!). And, if you're still reading, feel free to email or follow us on Twitter @SMDGpodcast. We'll gladly follow you back! And our social media etiquette is fit for royalty. Or something. Finally, feel free to head over to our website, where you can induce brain trauma by watching this episode of Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends!

For today's episode we watch the 90's camping "classic" Camp Candy, a show about a camp owned by Canadian comediean John Candy with no explanation as to why Canadian comedian John Candy owns a camp. It's a real doozy! And by "doozy" we mean, "Uuuuugh."

Join us as we discuss how to actually pronounce M. Nigh Shyamalan's name properly. Giancarlo pitches his script "Horsey: the Magical Flying Horse" which doesn't get the reception he's looking for, while Tim and Sean might just ruin Giancarlo's chances in Hollywood by suggesting a role for Sarah Jessica Parker (hint: it's the main character in the script "Horsey"). We learn how Harry Nilsson may just sometimes write songs out of passion... passion for paychecks! We also discuss the actual circumstances of John Candy's death, and whether or not it's too soon. Finally, we dive into the topic of economic factors that explain the disparity between the animation quality in a cartoon's intro versus the cartoon itself, or as Andrea calls it, "yet-another-part-of-podcast-where-I-zone-out." For our "Conversations with Stars", we get a visit from bad guy #2 (meaning, the henchman) Chester, and we learn about life in modern day Detroit. SMDG is back baby! Like we are every two weeks. Thanks for listening! Tell your family!

For today's epsiode, we watched the "classic" animated series, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. And we can all thank Filmation for making the term "classic" hold no meaning for us.

Listen in as we discuss the complexities of smartphone map systems. We also learn about Giancarlo's (not so) secret fantasies about robot horse/non-robot human relations. All of this is in an effort to not really focus on "Origin of the Sorceress," the somewhat confusing and convoluted episode focusing on the beginnings of the "He-Man" character The Sorceress (in case you couldn't guess) and why her nemesis is a giant Moses. Plus, learn what a robot horse not programmed to be sentient thinks, courtesy of the magic of a computer that translates non-sentient horse robot thought into very robot words. It's as good as it sounds, folks.

Plus, in our interview segment, the Sorceress stops by and we even learn that's she's an Eternia ex-pat living in the states and we discover her real name is not Teela-Na as we were led to believe by every single piece of evidence we found. Earth-shaking stuff, folks.

Thanks for listening, and if you like us, maybe you should subscribe or tell someone that we exist. We know we'd appreciate it.

In this episode, we return to the unrelenting mediocrity of Hanna-Barbera in the 80s by watching The Snorks.

This time around, we talked about a terrible clarinet and snare drum quartet Andrea was in in 6th grade that played Bryan Adams "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)", Tim and GC play by the syntactical rules of The Snorks while singing the theme to a much better show. If you do'nt know those syntactical rules, don't worry, we help you out with that, just like the shows, by strictly defining when and how to substitute the word "snork" for other words, actual words. Sean does stuff and then totally does not leave 90% of the way through the recording so he could make his improv practice. And as a group, we do our best to make some high quality fish/sealife puns, we perform a little bit of Hamlet gets performed, and we discuss how sassy eels that act as wheels aren't sassy the way they would have been if they were on a better Hanna-Barbera show, Thundarr the Barbarian. That's a joke. Clearly we mean the late 70s Fantastic Four. The one with H.E.R.B.I.E.

Thanks for listening. You should snork a snork about this show. And check out the website about the contest. Also "snork a snork" means "tell a friend".

In honor of the new Robocop, we watched an episode of the animated Robocop, our second straight R-rated movie turned into a kids cartoon. What a world we live in, right?

This time around, we learn Andrea's nickname, which has led her to legal trouble, Giancarlo fantasizes about some sexy cartoon ladies (never done that before, right?), some of us try to one up each other on Nixon references, and we talk about X-men for the thousandth time on a episode that's not at all about the X-men. Yes, we finally adress the regulation of Cyclops' optic blasts. Please notify Stockholm for our physics Nobels, please.

We also get a visit from ED-260, and boy has he gotten into some murder-related hijinx since the show.

We're also running a contest which you can enter and win your own SMDG art!

Enjoy listening to today's episode, check out the episode on our website, and tell a friend. Thanks!

We are back and we are once again down one host. But luckily, we have four hosts normally, so it's not like there are awkward pauses. And one of the remaining host most certainly doesn't leave in the middle of the recording but gets edited in a way that makes it appear that she is there the whole time... certainly not!

In this week's episode, we watched the pilot of one of the very first children's cartoons based upon an R-rated movie- "Rambo". Because what makes for better kid's cartoon than a character that's most politely described as a "rather disturbed Vietnam Veteran who murders lots of people"? We also discuss how sexy closeups of animated muscles can be, the effectiveness of push-based combat, the lack of engineers on the writing staff of the "Rambo" cartoon, and we have an amazing interview with the extremely intimidating Sergeant Havok who had his eyelids removed.

We also make a two big announcements- one about a contest (see the website) and one about a live show (don't see the website yet, because we don't have details set!)

Enjoy and listen with a loved one or a disturbed Vietnam vet. Or both.