A poly guy lives in a rural area with his fiancé. He is building his own house, and hires laborers to come live with him while they build. One of the laborers started hooking up with the caller’s girlfriend without consulting the caller or gaining his consent. Now what? This guy is living in his own damn house, having sex with his own damn lady???

True or False: Gay men who were bullied as kids often hook up with their former bullies.

On the Magnum, the worlds collide when Dan Savage, notorious sex proponent chats with asexuality educator Cody Daigle-Orians. They do a deep dive on ace issues. Are ace folks queer? Are micro labels helpful? At what point in a relationships should ace people come out? Daigle-Orians, creator of “Ace Dad Advice” explains asexuality with clarity and patience to the sex-crazed Savage.

Their new book The Ace And Aro Relationship Guide is out now.

And, a gay tourist was snapping pics of some hot men, when a family saw what was going on, and took umbrage. Outrage ensued. Is it so wrong to take pictures of people out in public?

This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now

A woman has been dating a man from Ghana for 4 months. She just learned that he has a wife and kid back home, that he married out of familial/cultural obligation. Should the caller hold out to see if he chooses her over his overseas family? 

A married woman has a one year-old kid. She and her husband are monogamous, but she's getting into performing burlesque at local bars and it's making her want to try...other things. How far will she go? How much will her husband allow? 

Our guest is Irish comedian Des Bishop. He and Dan get into some straight guy topics: like straight guys into butt sex, straight guys into dicks, and how to surprise your straight guy with an awesome sex move. The (very gay) Dan Savage and the (very straight) Des Bishop got along like a house on fire. Some of this conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum. 

And, we can't phrase this delicately: She smells. A woman's girlfriend is so very beloved to her. But lately, she's been letting her hygiene slip and it's getting dire. How can the caller tell her sweetheart that she kind of stinks? 

[email protected] 206-302-2064

Des Bishop's special Of All People, is out now, here.

This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

A lesbian couple has been together for a couple years, and things are still hot between them. But they wonder if they should check out a sex club just to add a little spice. They are monogamous, and have no interest in contact with other women. Their friends say it's impossible to remain exclusive with each other at one of these spaces. Is that true? Would they be welcome? 

A man with "anxious attachment style" (hot!) has been seeing a woman for 6 weeks, and things are moving fast. She told him she was going to have a drink with a friend. He asked if she had ever slept with him. At first she denied it, but then called him back and admitted that she used to have a friends-with-benefits relationship with him, but that they were just platonic now. Should he believe her? Should he be upset? Should he cling as hard as he possibly can? 

On the Magnum, Dan chats with humor writer Eli McCann from the Salt Lake Tribune about "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives," and what to do when the obnoxious gatekeeper in your life is your own damn son. 

And, a woman has freed herself from her abusive ex-boyfriend. But they still share one thing...the dog! Who gets custody? She had promised him that if they ever broke up, he could keep the dog. But he is in no position to care for it. Who gets the poor little pooch? 

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

An apology is required! But who is in the wrong here? An NB person got so, so sick with the covids. They had already made out with their boyfriend, so he was exposed. When they asked him to come over, deliver some food and offer bit of comfort, the boyfriend only agreed to drop off food outside the door. Should he have come inside and been more supportive? Or was it too much to ask to have him risk exposure?

On a much heavier note, a woman's dad was discovered to have a three year-long affair. Then he died days later. The caller's mom is grieving, angry and bereft, and the caller is cynical. 

Rejoice! Randy Rainbow is back. Our favorite parodic chanteuse is here to promote his new book "Low Hanging Fruit," and to dish with Dan about pregnancy fetishes, evangelistic nudists, and how very weird straight people are. A little is on the Micro, the whole salacious thing is on the Magnum. 

A man has been with his husband for 9 years. The caller is enjoying their newly open relationship, but his husband neither wants to cat around himself, nor approves of the caller's exploits. Can a slut and a demisexual make it work together? 

They've gotta try!

[email protected]         206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

A man was flirting with a woman online, but his girlfriend found out. She threw him out, and messaged all their friends and family about the incident. Police were involved. Should they get back together? Dan calls him up to get all the salacious details, and you get to listen. 

A man has a wonderful fiancé, and they have a child together. He loves her very, very much. The problem? He is one kinky motherfucker, and she is NOT interested in dominating him. 

On the Magnum, Dan chats with comedian Caleb Hearon. They talk about the perils of performing masculinity, but also how some gay men really are masculine. Calebs says "I don't want to do any of this exclusive, essentialist weirdo shit- I just want to have fun and enjoy myself." Hallelujah. Also, they arbitrate a petty fight from a caller over who should pay for a couch. 

Oh, and you have to become a Magnum sub and listen to this interview in order to understand the headline. 

Some three-way condom etiquette is in order. She and her husband are going to invite another man to join them. Naturally, they will insist that the lucky lad wear a condom. But should her husband wear one too just for parity? 

[email protected]     206-302-2064

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

She slept with a lad who didn't wear a condom when he said he would, came inside her and wouldn't help pay for Plan B. The hitch? He's great in bed, and she is hard up. Should she sleep with him again, if he promises to be a good boy? 

A caller challenges Dan on his personal dislike of massages. "How can this possibly be?" asks the caller.  

Our guest this week, is the brilliant psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel. Dan and Esther talk about infidelity, how monogamous relationships can turn into police states, and the difference between sex and eroticism- among many other things. We put a chunk of this conversation on the Micro, but there's a lot more on the Magnum. 

It's the classic bait n' switch. A queer man met his wife via Feeld where she claimed to be interested adventurous sex. Now that they're married, they are monogamous, vanilla and the caller is tearing his hair out. They are doing all the therapy. What they aren't doing is having amazing kinky sex. 

[email protected] 206-302-2064

Check out Esther Perel at EstherPerel.com.

https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle

Get 15% the desire courses until 12/13/24 with the code: SAVAGE15

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

Oh no! He broke the flirting rules. He kissed a lady and lied about it. (He lies a lot apparently.) But now, it makes her sick to look at him. What now?

A man and his boyfriend just bought a house together and they are setting up one of the rooms as a nursery...because they are both adult babies. What should they tell visitors if they ask what the locked room is for?

On the Magnum, it's the triumphant return of "What Are You Doing?!" A cuckold relationship with a femme-dom twist, you say? Do tell! Meet John and Maria, a seemingly "normal" couple that get super-freaky where it counts. They explain how they met, and gradually morphed into an amped-up sexual relationship. If you are interested in cuckolding, Dom/sub relationships or just want to peer in, have a listen.

And, a woman heard that if her husband gets a vasectomy his semen will lose the delicious flavor she so enjoys. Is it true? Or maybe...not?

Let's ask science!

A man and his girlfriend are well-matched. Except...she doesn't like to kiss and he NEEDS to kiss to get his erotic motor running. Whatever can they do? 

The good doctor Barak is back... but this time he's here to share his political giving strategy for this election, where your dollar is mightier than ever. And of course Dan ambushes him with a gnarly sex question. 

On the Magnum, what happens when a man is jealous of his...mother? Dan chats with whip smart writer Jill Filipovic about millennial/boomer divide and the seething resentments within. 

And, a man and his husband are finally having three-ways after 30 years of marriage. They get more excited to be with their special guest stars than they do with just each other. Is this a problem? 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

We’re partnering with NOCD to raise awareness about OCD. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That’s OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to NOCD.com/savage to learn more.

Git along little doggie! A gay man in academia has always been into cowboys. But he fights his brain, due to the inherently problematic nature of this fetish. Can (or should) he scrub these fantasies from his mind? 

A woman in Berlin would like to go to Folsom Europe. But would she be welcome? Dan chats with kink educator AJ Berlin about gay male sex party spaces, and who is (and isn't) welcome. 

On the Magnum, Dan chats with a true unicorn- a monogamous gay man. Don Martin is an author, podcaster and prolific THIRST TRAPPER. He's been with his husband for 18 years in a very happy exclusive relationship. They talk about accepting yourself as gay, going the distance with monogamy, escaping body dysmorphia and so much more. They had a wide-ranging conversation and you are invited to listen in. 

And, are there any foot fetishists out there who are ladies? Anyone? 

Call! Tell us about it! 

This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage. 

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Workplace intrigue ahoy! A gay trans man who passes completely, is out to some of his co-workers but not all. Over drinks, one of his bosses told him he was bi, but not attracted to male genitals. So was this his way of acknowledging that the caller is trans, and flirting with him? Or was it cluelessly his way of saying he *wasn't* interested? Confusing! What should the caller do? 

A straight man loved giving his previous girlfriend multiple orgasms. But now that he's single and knows how good it can be, he feels pressure to give multiple orgasms every time, to all his lovers. Is this a new expectation for men? How can he have good sex without his self-critical brain ruining everything? 

On the Magnum, you may recall a few weeks ago, a woman asked about cross-dressing men. She wanted to understand the difference between cross-dressers, trans women and drag queens. Nancy Rose is a cross-dresser with a very masculine side when she's in man mode and a very feminine side when she's in "Nancy mode." In this conversation they explore the mushy Venn diagram of these queer identities. 

We know you're sick of hearing this question over and over, but if you are an adult baby diaper lover, and a recovering meth addict, and you've discovered that injecting meth into your penis shrinks your dick in a way you find affirming, how can you find a better, less addicting way to achieve a baby-like wiener? Ho hum. 

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. 

This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.