Say The Things

I took an extended summer break and found myself not in the right headspace to return, which got me thinking about the energy we bring into the world. With all the negativity and chaos happening around us—from political unrest to violence—I want to ask: what energy are you contributing? I believe we are literally energetic beings operating at measurable frequencies, and there's science behind how our physical and emotional states affect not just us, but everyone around us. This week, I'm challenging you to pick one thing—whether it's starting a gratitude practice, getting moving outside, or simply noticing your body language—and try it for five days to raise your vibration.

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I'm exploring the connection between self-advocacy and self-silencing as I head into a break because I'm experiencing burnout myself, which feels perfectly timed for this topic. I challenge you to think about how we constantly tell our kids to advocate for themselves while we struggle to do the same, often because we've been conditioned to believe that self-advocacy is selfish when we're supposed to be sensitive to others' needs. I want you to examine where you've been self-silencing - avoiding conflict, neglecting your intuition, or not sharing your desires - and ask yourself what you'd tell a friend in your same situation, because awareness is the catalyst for change and nothing will shift if we keep putting everyone else's needs before our own.

I explore why women negotiate as often as men but succeed only half as often, and how we've been taught to negotiate like men when we should be leveraging our natural relationship-building strengths instead. I share a four-step framework specifically designed for women: reviewing past performance, understanding future vision, making the ask, and ending with collaborative questions that invite others into the solution. I challenge you to recognize that you're already negotiating every day - from managing household responsibilities to resolving conflicts - and it's time to stop settling and start asking for what you truly want using this collaborative approach.

Ted: Katherine Valentine

In today's episode, I explored how women can move beyond stereotypical emotional expression by developing emotional intelligence and expanding our emotional vocabulary beyond the mere 20 words most Americans use out of 3,000 available emotion-describing words. I discussed how emotions naturally last only six seconds unless we suppress them, and shared practical strategies like practicing the pause, self-regulation, and becoming more intentional in our responses rather than reactions. My goal is to help you understand that your emotions hold value and provide insight, and by learning to express them more effectively, we can strengthen our relationships, improve our intuition, and even boost our immune systems.

I'm breaking down the ridiculous stereotypes we've been handed about women in conflict – from the "hysterical female" to the "peacekeeper at all costs" – and why these scripts are keeping us small. The research is clear: healthy relationships actually have conflict 20% of the time, and 80% of disagreements aren't meant to be "solved" but understood, which means we need to stop treating conflict like something shameful to hide. I'm sharing specific roles we can step into during conflict that leverage our natural strengths – from Provider to Truth-Teller – so we can move from avoiding conflict to engaging with it skillfully and transforming our relationships in the process.

In this episode, I'm tackling the impossible position women face in professional settings—we're either seen as competent and cold or likable but unskilled, and honestly, I'm tired of having to choose between these limiting options. I dive into how we undermine our own authority through the words we choose and share practical strategies for speaking with confidence. Your expertise didn't accidentally find its way into your brain; you've earned it through experience, education, and growth, and it's time to stop apologizing for what you know.

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In this episode, I'm getting vulnerable about my struggle with boundaries, especially with my kids. I share the belief I've been operating under which has led me straight into burnout and resentment territory. I walk through my three-step process for setting clear limits and remind you that when people who've benefited from your lack of boundaries suddenly get challenged by your new ones, that's not yours to fix.

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In this episode, I challenge everything you think you know about assertive communication - it's not about being aggressive or demanding, but about being authentically you through honest, direct, respectful, and appropriate communication. I explore how women especially have been conditioned to prioritize being "kind and soft" over speaking truthfully, and why the people who benefit from us staying quiet wrote those limiting rules in the first place. We'll dive into practical ways to practice healthy communication. Remember, your voice matters, your needs matter, and healthy relationships require all four elements: honesty, directness, respect, and appropriateness - so begin where you are and start saying what you mean.

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Welcome to my new summer series where I'm examining the complex reality of communication as a woman and how we can move beyond limiting social expectations. Despite being raised by women who fought for equality and told we could become anything, we weren't prepared for the challenges we actually face - like being perceived as dominating when we speak just 30% of the time or being interrupted twice as often as men. This series will cover essential skills like assertiveness, boundary setting, and authentic expression because I believe our best communication comes not from following rules to keep everyone comfortable, but from showing up with confidence and our authentic voice. Join me as we become more aware, confident, and at ease with communicating in all areas of our lives.

In this episode, I dive into the exhausting reality of co-parenting with a covert narcissist, sharing real examples from my own experience that will sound painfully familiar to anyone in this situation. I break down four key traits that make co-parenting feel impossible: blame shifting, ruining special occasions, chronic unreliability, and weaponizing children's emotions. Through personal stories—from dangerous unsupervised water activities to last-minute schedule changes—I explore how these patterns affect our kids and why speaking up often makes us look like the problem. If you're questioning your sanity while trying to protect your children from a co-parent who appears decent on the surface but leaves chaos in their wake, this episode is for you.

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