Scare U

Virginia, an actress, bookstore employee, and voracious reader of trash fiction, becomes convinced that the author of the books she’s reading – who died some 30 years ago – is out there, on the streets of Los Angeles, committing grisly murders similar to the ones in his books.  Her detective boyfriend, Richard, along with the rest of the LAPD, is skeptical.  Is Virginia crazy?  Seeing things?  Drinking too much tea?  Or is she on to something, and everyone else has failed to see the ugly truth right under their noses, ears, lips, and scalp?
Intro, Math Club, and Debate Society (spoiler-free) 00:00-23:34
Honor Roll and Detention (spoiler-heavy) 23:35-55:13
Superlatives (so. many. spoilers.) 55:14-1:15:46

Eight year-old Rhoda Penmark is angry.  Not because her father, a colonel, is heading off to Washington for four weeks.  Not because her apartment building’s janitor, LeRoy Jessup, is hovering a little too close for comfort. No, Rhoda’s pissed because her classmate Claude Daigle has won the school’s penmanship medal, and in Rhoda’s mind, that just isn’t fair.  Meanwhile, Rhoda’s doting mother, Christine, has begun to wonder whether Rhoda might be a little too interested in the medal, and when word comes that Claude has met a suspicious end at the school picnic, Christine’s curiosity turns to worry.  Is Rhoda really as sweet and innocent as she looks?  Is LeRoy really just a mixed up fool who monologues on occasion?  Or is something more nefarious afoot – something to do with heredity, with nature vs nurture, and a certain coincidence that takes place whenever Rhoda is in the vicinity of those she considers obstacles to her desires?

It’s a stormy night somewhere in Wales, and three travelers are having a rough go of it: married couple Phillip and Margaret Waverton, and their passenger in the back seat, the dapper Penderel.  That’s when they come upon a house, which is, shockingly, old… and dark.  They manage to gain entrance after convincing the mute, lumbering butler, Morgan, that they are indeed in distress, and are soon greeted by the house’s main occupants, the elderly Femms, Horace and his hard of hearing sister Rebecca. The Femms offer the travelers supper, but as the sternly religious Rebecca finds it inappropriate, no beds.  As they sit down to eat a meal of meat and potatoes, two more travelers burst in – the jolly Sir William Porterhouse and his personal companion, Gladys Duquesne.  Or is it Perkins?  As the evening wends from dinner to conversation to an interest in the rest of the house, things take a turn for the weird, and soon, all are ensnared in a trap – not just to make it through the storm, but to get out of the house alive.

Director James Whale

Determined to make better lives for themselves, Madrid town square "mascots" Tony and Jose, in their guises as a silver-hued Jesus and a green-skinned toy soldier, rob a shop specializing in the exchange and purchase of gold. Joined by Jose’s son Sergio, who has forsaken his homework for a day with dad, the men make off with countless rings and other gold trinkets, commandeering a taxi driven by Manuel, and containing a passenger who just wants to get to Badajoz.  Their goal:  make it to France, safety, and prosperity.  Just one problem:  Sergio left his backpack in the store, and his notebook has Jose’s address on it.  It soon becomes clear to Jose’s wife Silvia that her son has been involved in a robbery and is being pursued through the country.  She jumps in a car and joins the pursuit herself, only to be followed by two cops, Calvo and Pacheco.  Soon, all wind up in the Basque town of Zugarramurdi, which, legend has it, is the centuries-old home of a coven of brujas, witches, posing an almost insurmountable obstacle to the mens’ frantic escape.

Intro, Math Club, and Debate Society (spoiler-free) 0:00-18:50

Director Álex de la Iglesia

Cintra Wilson is a culture critic, author, and former fashion critic for the New York Times. Her books include "A Massive Swelling: Celebrity Re-Examined As A Grotesque, Crippling Disease," the novel "Colors Insulting to Nature," "Caligula for President: Better American Living Through Tyranny,” and "Fear and Clothing: Unbuckling American Fashion.”  Her weekly Substack/podcast is free at cintra.substack.com.

Our theme music is by Sir Cubworth, with embellishments by Edward Elgar.  Music from “Witching and Bitching” by Joan Valent.

The 17th century.  The English Civil War.  Whitehead, a man of letters, maker of lace, and self-described coward, is tasked with finding and arresting the colleague and rival alchemist who stole his master’s papers.  He enlists the aid of Cutler, a soldier who claims he can take them to a nearby alehouse, and two deserters, the wily Jacob and dull-minded Friend. Upon arriving at Cutler’s destination – not the alehouse, but a wide open field strewn with hallucinogenic mushrooms, the group locates the alchemist, O’Neil.  But instead of taking in his man, Whitehead, along with Jacob and Friend, find themselves O’Neil’s prisoners. And as Whitehead becomes a literal tool in O’Neil’s plot to seek out a deposit of gold in the field, this one-time familiar place quickly turns strange and otherworldly.

Lola Stone wants to go to prom with Brent, the school hottie, but he’s already going with his girlfriend Holly.  So Lola does what any jilted high schooler would do:  she and her father kidnap Brent, tie him to a chair, and proceed to torture him in excruciating ways -- all while hiding a long-buried secret concerning the disappearance of several of their towns' residents.

It’s Christmas at a college somewhere in North America, and the girls of a campus sorority house are welcoming the season with boys and libations. For Clare, Jess, Phyl, Barb and their house mother, Mrs. Mac, it’s an especially sweet time, as the house welcomes kids from the neighborhood for a party and the spirit of giving is in the air. But soon, giving turns to screaming as one of them finds herself confronted by a mysterious stranger who has seemingly entered the house via an upstairs window.  Soon, the case of one missing girl draws in the residents of the house, the local police, and the town, and an oddly hard-to-locate killer initiates a game of hide-and-seek, sororicide, and some truly awful telephone etiquette.

Four months after surviving a car crash that killed her husband, pregnant Sarah is alone and depressed on Christmas Eve, and due to have her baby the next day. Violent protests are happening in the streets, but she doesn’t want to be with anyone, despite her mother and boss Jean-Pierre offering her opportunities to come to parties, or keep her company. So Sarah settles in for a night of knitting, when suddenly… a knock on the door. Who is it? The woman behind the door just wants to use a phone, but she also knows Sarah’s name. And what begins as an indoor-outdoor game of cat and mouse turns into a cascading symphony of violence, with nothing less than the fate of Sarah’s baby hanging in the balance.

Seeking some extra cash to pay for her new off-campus apartment, college sophomore Samantha answers an ad for a babysitting job. Her friend Megan suspects something weird is going on and insists on joining Samantha for the evening. On the night of a total lunar eclipse, the two drive to a grand Victorian on the outskirts of town and meet the Ulmans, an older couple going out for the evening – but there’s a catch. There’s no child. Instead, Mrs. Ulman’s mother is upstairs, and Samantha is asked to hang out in the house, in case anything should happen to Mother. Initially reluctant to take the job, Samantha is able to wring 400 bucks out of the couple, and settles in for an evening alone in a dark, dark house, on a dark, dark night.

Gathering for a weekend at the sprawling island home of their friend Muffy, a gaggle of Vassar students find themselves in a bit of a pickle as they start disappearing one at a time, apparently at the hand of a murderer who kills them in a series of increasingly bizarre ways.