Schlockmasters

This time on Schlockmasters V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) discuss the Y2K cross cultural martial arts deep cut classic, Romeo Must Die, screen debut of the late great Aaliyah and Jet Li's first hollywood leading role.

King of Iron Movie Tournament submissions close tonight so get in your last minute submissions while you still can.

KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Azi's Bluesky
• Azi's way too long vertical resident evil video

In another installment of Schlockmasters actively trying to cultivate the worst SEO in podcasting, we are talking about a video game that was literallly never released. This time V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) discuss Polaroid Pete; the unreleased European English language prototype for the Japanese photography based Playstation 2 game, Gekibo 2. Sidenote: It wasn't until I finished the edit that I realized the photos in the game aren't even polaroids.

Also submissions for the King of Iron Movie Tournament will be closing on May 3rd, 2026 so get your entries in while you still can.

KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Azi's Bluesky
• Azi's way too long vertical resident evil video

Never betray anyone unless you want to. On this episode of Schlockmasters V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) cover the 2022 wuxia revenge film the Flying Swordsman: Out for Revenge also know as the Hidden Fox, and discuss complex revenge plots, chinese streaming services, and dramatic irony or lack thereof.

KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Azi's Bluesky

This week V.V. (they/them) is joined by Damon Stallman to step into the world of anthropomorphic animal costumes with the independent film, Bitter Lake; Trust is a Fickle Thing, the first and seemingly only full length film shot with the entire cast in fursuits.

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Damon's Bluesky
• Damon's Tumblr
• Damon's Twitter

Content Warnings: Extreme violence, discussions of real life misogyny and reactionary political extremism, and discussions of real life murders and suicides

Live streams, murder, and square headed chumps. Schlockmasters is back to regularly scheduled programing and this time around V.V. (they/them) and Azi (he/him) are discussing the found footage slasher film and Joe Keery vehicle, Spree.

KING OF IRON MOVIE SUBMISSION FORM

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Azi's Bluesky

Schlockmasters is gonna be returning to regular biweekly updates starting next month but in the mean time to tide you over, have this previously patreon exclusive interview with frequent guest Rathayibacter Toxicus.

In the first Schlockmasters creator interview Valensa(they/them) talks to ttrpg designer Rathayibacter Toxicus(they/them) about their nightmarishly maximalist satirical war Funko Pop based war game, IMMORTAL Pop!bat 2: funK.O. (Definitive Edition).

You can find IMMORTAL Pop!bat 2: funK.O. (Definitive Edition) here.

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Rathayibacter's Bluesky
• Rathayibacter's Tumblr

Before Schlockmasters returns to regularly scheduled programing following our end of year break we are going to be doing a short series of mini episodes where the cast of Schlockmasters discuss the things they felt were especially worth celebrating from the previous year.

For this first award V.V. Valensa has selected a game they've been playing nearly every day for the past year, Dragonsweeper by Daniel Benmergui, which can be found here https://danielben.itch.io/dragonsweeper

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Azi's Bluesky

For this Thing of the Year award V.V. Valensa (they/them) is joined by Damon Stallman (he/him) to sexualize the old men of Wake Up Deadman; A Knives Out Mystery.

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Damon's Bluesky
• Damon's Tumblr
• Damon's Twitter

Note: This podcast was recorded january 24th, 2026. 2 days before the release of Highguard

On this special episode host, V.V. Valensa (they/them) interviews the individuals behind the fake bluesky account for the online competetive videogame Highguard.

These guests are listed below:

-Nona (she/her)

-Brie (she/her) @brie-r on Bluesky, Tumblr Pillowfort, Neocities, Wafrn, Website League and @BR on Mastodon

-Rayna (they/she)

-Zoey (she/her) @galvinian on Bluesky, Itch and @tenochre on Tumblr

-Rathayibacter Toxicus (they/them) @rathayibactertoxicus on Bluesky, Tumblr, Itch

Brie's itch.io Highguard Game Jam can be found here: https://itch.io/jam/highguard-jam

The current Play Highguard parody Bluesky can be found here: https://bsky.app/profile/playhlghguard.bsky.social

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon | Bluesky | Tumblr
• Valensa's Bluesky | Tumblr

Content Warnings: Homophobia, United States Politics

On this special slightly belated US election season episode host V.V. Valensa (they/them) and guest Rathayibacter Toxicus (they/them) discuss the Amazon Prime Studios 2023 New Adult Romantic Comedy, Red White and Royal Blue.

The Schlockmaster theme music is by Juan Carlos Hernadez you can find more of his music here: linktr.ee/isban2

Jane Mulcahy's Red White and Royal Blue video essays as mentioned in the episode cane be found here

Social Media Links

• Schlockmasters' Patreon
• Schlockmasters' Bluesky
• Valensa's Bluesky
• Valensa's Tumblr
• Rathayibacter's Bluesky
• Rathayibacter's Tumblr