School of Schlock

We've already seen one film about a human head being kept alive by grotesque experimentation. How about another?? And this time we're revisiting a schlock "classic," an all-timer of a bad film. Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about cat fights, remakes, and of course James Bond films with "Brain" in the title! It's our review of The Brain That Wouldn't Die!

Time stamps:

0:05:55 - Background

0:21:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:33:40 - Notable Scenes

0:39:55 - The Good

0:44:20 - The Bad

0:55:30 - The Ugly

There's nothing like an old-fashioned murder mystery to get the mind turning and the blood pumping. And if we add Vincent Price to the mix, what could go wrong? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss charisma, causality, and common sense (or a lack thereof). Slip on your clawed gloves and listen to our review of The Bat!

Time stamps:

0:03:05 - Background

0:22:55 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:33:45 - Notable Scenes

0:44:05 - The Good

0:50:05 - The Bad

1:02:50 - The Ugly

Tom and Ryan are keeping their youth with an invigorating beauty product!

No one would argue that The Fly isn't a lesson in gross-out body horror...but what if a human was crossed with a wasp? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss all things waspy, from beauty products to bad special effects to re-used film scores. Get buzzing for our review of The Wasp Woman!

Time stamps:

0:04:00 - Background

0:23:50 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:41:50 - Notable Scenes

0:52:30 - The Good

0:58:15 - The Bad

1:08:00 - The Ugly

You probably shouldn't watch a sequel without seeing the film it's a sequel of, but we're going to do it anyway! And really, watching the first Universal Soldier won't improve this one. Join Tom and Ryan as we talk about unnecessary sequels, sexy mustaches, robotic acting, and Magic planeswalkers. It's our review of Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms!

Time stamps:

0:03:40 - Background

0:29:10 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:35:55 - Notable Scenes

0:43:40 - The Good

0:48:45 - The Bad

1:03:05 - The Ugly

Cowboys versus natives has been a trope of the Western genre for as long as the genre has existed, with countless movies depicting the conflict. So why not add one more tired cinematic experience to that unfathomably long list? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss this trope and related topics, like cow puns, One Life to Live, and misleading opening narrations. It's our review of Against a Crooked Sky!

Time stamps:

0:02:30 - Background

0:21:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:37:50 - Notable Scenes

0:44:00 - The Good

0:46:45 - The Bad

0:57:35 - The Ugly

Mad Max may have shown us that in the post-apocalypse we drive gas-guzzling modified death machines everywhere...but what if cars aren't available? How will we navigate the violence-torn streets? This movie has the answer: rollerblades! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about hate groups, non-threatening modes of transport, and bad slow-mo. It's our review of Prayer of the Rollerboys!

Time stamps:

0:03:45 - Background

0:29:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:43:50 - Notable Scenes

0:51:00 - The Good

1:01:40 - The Bad

1:12:55 - The Ugly

2021 wasn't much better than 2020, but did the films we watched this year match the year's quality? Which characters were the worst of the worst? Which moments are burned into our brains? And what visuals scarred our eyeballs? Find out in our annual Schlocky Awards for 2021!

Time Stamps:

0:03:10 - Explanation, Film List, and Lifetime Achievement Award 0:09:45 - Worst Character 0:50:00 - Worst Moment or Line 1:41:30 - Worst Visual 1:53:55 - Best Moment 2:06:30 - The 10 Worst Films of the Year

The crazed consumerism of Christmas calls for consequential critiques! But can this action-star-fueled family Christmas comedy deliver the goods? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss holiday toy crazes, cartoon physics, and getting into the true holiday spirit. It's our review of Jingle All the Way!

Time stamps:

0:05:05 - Background

0:32:45 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:46:10 - Notable Scenes

0:53:10 - The Good

1:00:15 - The Bad

1:10:00 - The Ugly

After so many old B-movies, it can feel refreshing to watch a Hollywood blockbuster that you remember seeing in theaters. But does this tale of campy vampires, sexy werewolves, and horny priests actually hold up? Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Jess to talk about all the important elements of an action adventure film, like dubious accents, unused weaponry, and Spanish guitar! It's our review of Van Helsing!

Time stamps:

0:05:15 - Background

0:29:25 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:42:00 - Notable Scenes

0:50:10 - The Good

1:04:05 - The Bad

1:17:15 - The Ugly

Hot on the heels of our last family adventure film, it's...another family adventure movie? This time there's bayou kids facing down a Bigfoot-esque monster in the middle of a hurricane! Sound exciting? It isn't! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about bayou accents, Gilligan's Island (and Planet), and a new competitor for worst song on the podcast. It's our review of Return to Boggy Creek!

Time stamps:

0:03:10 - Background

0:17:35 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:29:45 - Notable Scenes

0:34:50 - The Good

0:37:30 - The Bad

0:52:35 - The Ugly