School of Schlock

Yub nub! Star Wars may conjur up images of epic battles, flying starships, and incredible Force powers, but it also brings to mind a group of cute, cuddly creatures: the Ewoks! Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest (and Star Wars expert) Greg to discuss one of the two Ewok-centered Star Wars movies. We also touch on related topics, like the Viet Cong, Lost, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! So put down your skin gliders and listen in to our review of Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure!

Time stamps:

0:04:20 - Background

0:40:25 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:45:10 - Notable Scenes

1:02:15 - The Good

1:12:35 - The Bad

1:29:50 - The Ugly

We've got another big fight on our hands! This time the combatants in this supernatural slugfest are an undead guardian of ancient treasures and a Frankensteinian cyborg! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about epic fights, reused footage, forensic science, and getting rich via grave-robbing. It's our review of The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy!

Time stamps:

0:03:55 - Background

0:13:35 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:24:10 - Notable Scenes

0:28:40 - The Good

0:34:00 - The Bad

0:49:50 - The Ugly

0:56:00 - Listener Feedback

Zombification. Regeneration. Keeping parts alive after they've been severed from the body. These are some classic themes of the horror genre, and ideas that are all over this 1950s German flick. Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss horror tropes, German Expressionism, body-swapping, and nepotism in police departments! For at the head of all masterpieces of horror film review that you've ever heard, you must place our review of The Head!

Time stamps:

0:02:55 - Background

0:12:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:27:55 - Notable Scenes

0:36:35 - The Good

0:45:25 - The Bad

1:01:30 - The Ugly

It's time to revisit the golden age of cinema for a 1940s comedy-adventure-horror! It's a movie that dares to make you laugh and tries to scare you with zombies and casual racism. Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss dated comedy, forgotten actors, and voodoo rituals (with a hint of druidic magic). Become one of the gang and listen to our review of King of the Zombies!

Time stamps:

0:07:20 - Background

0:30:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:38:20 - Notable Scenes

0:43:25 - The Good

0:48:55 - The Bad

0:55:05 - The Ugly

Let's travel back in time to when Hawaii wasn't a state and the Pacific Islands were mysterious to most (white) Americans! Two 1950s beefcakes are accused of murder and are stranded on a vaguely-Hawaiian island...what will they do to escape? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss exploitation tourism, David Crosby, the Bahá'i Faith, and fingers pointing at maps. It's our review of the Roger Corman "classic," She-Gods of Shark Reef!

Time stamps:

0:06:05 - Background

0:17:40 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:22:40 - Notable Scenes

0:27:40 - The Good

0:32:45 - The Bad

0:42:30 - The Ugly

Iconic 80s action cinema is here! We finally take on a cult-classic that has become its own cultural touchstone with the immortal line: "There can be only one!" Listen in on the head-chopping action as Tom and Ryan discuss (anti-) climactic fights, votive candles, meta-humor, and Egyptian-Spanish-Scotsmen in Japan! It's our one-and-only review of The Highlander!

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:18:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:32:55 - Notable Scenes

0:39:30 - The Good

0:44:40 - The Bad

1:01:15 - The Ugly

Nazis are all-time classic bad guys. Or at least all-time since World War 2. Regardless, everyone should be able to get behind destroying camps full of Nazi scum, and that's exactly what this corny action flick from 1987 indulges in! Join Tom and Ryan as they touch on relevant topics such as racism, James Bond, and Olympic volleyball players. Call over your best baboon sidekick and listen in to our review of The Order of the Black Eagle!

Time stamps:

0:03:20 - Background

0:18:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:32:55 - Notable Scenes

0:39:30 - The Good

0:44:40 - The Bad

1:01:15 - The Ugly

UFOs and aliens! Time travel and a nuclear apocalypse! Sound exciting? Well don't get your hopes too high, as we struggle to comprehend the plot of this particular 60s Italian film. Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss such important topics as Italian dialects, Pep Boys, women's magazines, and pinball machines! Tune in for our review of Star Pilot!

Time stamps:

0:04:05 - Background

0:14:45 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:23:10 - Notable Scenes

0:31:50 - The Good

0:37:20 - The Bad

0:48:10 - The Ugly

We have an accidental tradition here on the podcast of watching some of the worst films of all time early in the year. With this cheerleading exploitation horror film, it looks like 2021 is going to be no different! Join Tom and Ryan as they suffer through an almost unbearable movie while discussing pertinent topics like shitty disco music, voyeurism, and the Orcs from Warcraft II. It's our review of Satan's Cheerleaders!

CW: Rape/Sexual Assault

Time stamps:

0:04:25 - Background

0:26:35 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:42:05 - Notable Scenes

0:52:00 - The Good

0:55:55 - The Bad

1:08:55 - The Ugly

"True Story" films aren't always as true as they claim to be, but something things have to be exaggerated and fictionalized for the sake of entertainment. And what could be more entertaining than Vlad the Impaler? Join Tom and Ryan as they discover the TRUEST story of the origins of Dracula by watching this period-piece drama all about good old Vlad. On the way they also discuss The Wire, charisma vacuums, and late-medieval influencers! It's our review of Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula!

Time stamps:

0:03:45 - Background

0:19:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary

0:41:50 - Notable Scenes

0:50:00 - The Good

0:55:10 - The Bad

1:06:00 - The Ugly