School of Schlock

A rogue pilot and a mystical lightsaber-wielding warrior team up to fight against a planet-sized, galaxy-threatening evil! No, it's not A New Hope. And no, it's not The Force Awakens. It's a film that's more like the ADD-diagnosed version of Star Wars. It's a film with omniscient characters, Southwestern robots, and David Hasselhoff. It's a film that stops the flow of time. It's...Starcrash! Episode Time Stamps 0:03:00 - Film Summary 0:32:43 - Film Background 0:58:45 - The Good 1:03:30 - The Bad 1:08:55 - The Ugly 1:38:31 - Improving the Film

When people from the 1980s get sucked into a transdimensional teleporter and wind up in another world, it's up to Tom and Ryan to watch them slowly try to escape! Will a balding warlord stand in their way? How does Battlestar Galactica relate to all of this? Would a Memento-like version of this film be better? And what about the watch??? We attempt to answer all of these questions when we discuss Prisoners of the Lost Universe! Episode Time Stamps 0:03:14 - Film Summary 0:27:23 - Film Background 0:38:50 - The Good 0:46:20 - The Bad 1:02:32 - The Ugly 1:20:27 - Improving the Film

The Earth is about to be destroyed by a doomsday machine, and it's up to a few remaining humans to go into space to escape! It's also up to Tom and Ryan to suffer through this painfully dull film. Listen in as they discuss death via airlock, interplanetary narrators, and the best way to get your grandma out of the gulag. Keep Khrushchev on speed-dial, because we're talking about The Doomsday Machine! Episode Time Stamps 0:03:17 - Film Summary 0:23:52 - Film Background 0:45:50 - The Good 0:50:05 - The Bad 1:04:10 - The Ugly 1:25:35 - Improving the Film

How does a sexploitation film stack up against our usual B-movie fare? What exactly does "nudie-cutie" mean? How common is it for men to transform into dogs? Tom and Ryan search for the answers to these questions and many more in Dr. Sex, a film about exactly what you would expect: mannequins, ghosts, and abstract art! Episode Time Stamps 0:03:40 - Film Summary 0:21:07 - Film Background 0:41:38 - The Good 0:50:14 - The Bad 0:58:41 - The Ugly 1:20:25 - Improving the Film 1:26:55 - Email

It's the second film in our Roger Corman comedy-horror block! This time a vicious sea monster is out to kill some criminals smuggling Cuban treasure into the United States--and you thought the Bay of Pigs was bad! Put your ear to the door and listen as Tom and Ryan (alias: Ryan and Tom) dream of the Corman film factory, trade all of their utilities for Park Place, and learn how this film is linked to two Mission Impossible movies. You can't hear a thing through that door, can you? Episode Time Stamps 0:02:39 - Film Summary 0:21:48 - Film Background 0:41:42 - The Good 0:53:47 - The Bad 1:05:00 - The Ugly 1:15:42 - Improving the Film

Could we have finally come across a movie we actually like? Is it possible there's a Roger Corman film out there that's actually pretty good? Listen in as Tom and Ryan order guava-and-wheat-germ pancakes, develop a Maxwell quote button, share their families' blood soup recipes, and speculate on whether Walter Paisley is actually Dr. Who. Repetition is death, and everything else is graham crackers, man. Episode Time Stamps 0:04:48 - Film Summary 0:35:30 - Film Background 1:01:15 - The Good 1:19:38 - The Bad 1:32:15 - The Ugly 1:42:32 - Improving the Film 1:47:29 - Email

Could we have finally come across a movie we actually like? Is it possible there's a Roger Corman film out there that's actually pretty good? Listen in as Tom and Ryan order guava-and-wheat-germ pancakes, develop a Maxwell quote button, share their families' blood soup recipes, and speculate on whether Walter Paisley is actually Dr. Who. Repetition is death, and everything else is graham crackers, man.
 
 
Episode Time Stamps
 
0:04:48 - Film Summary
 
0:35:30 - Film Background 
 
1:01:15 - The Good
 
1:19:38 - The Bad
 
1:32:15 - The Ugly
 
1:42:32 - Improving the Film   1:47:29 - Email

As we step into a new year of old B-movies, we take an episode to reflect on School of Schlock's 2016. Was Parole Violators the worst film that we watched this year, or did another film take the crown? Who was the worst character? What visual effects left us reeling, and what moment or line in a film left us the most nauseated? Find out in our first annual Schlocky Awards, where we crown the Worst of 2016 before we move forward to start fresh in 2017! Happy New Year! Episode Time Stamps 0:01:25 - Schlockys Explanation and Film List 0:04:25 - Worst Character 0:31:12 - Worst Moment or Line 0:57:50 - Worst Visual 1:08:23 - Five Worst Films of the Year

As we step into a new year of old B-movies, we take an episode to reflect on School of Schlock's 2016. Was Parole Violators the worst film that we watched this year, or did another film take the crown? Who was the worst character? What visual effects left us reeling, and what moment or line in a film left us the most nauseated? Find out in our first annual Schlocky Awards, where we crown the Worst of 2016 before we move forward to start fresh in 2017! Happy New Year!     Episode Time Stamps   0:01:25 - Schlockys Explanation and Film List
 
0:04:25 - Worst Character 
 
0:31:12 - Worst Moment or Line
 
0:57:50 - Worst Visual
 
1:08:23 - Five Worst Films of the Year

It's our holiday episode, so of course that means lots of Santa Claus, lots of singing children, and also lots of scheming Martians! Listen in as Tom and Ryan discuss the relative intelligence of Santa, the relevance of former Nazi scientist Dr. Werner von Braun, and whether or not Santa is a benevolent ruler of his many puppet governments. Put on your robot costumes and polar bear suits, because it's time for Santa Claus Conquers the Martians! Episode Time Stamps 0:02:30 - Film Summary 0:18:35 - Film Background 0:43:23 - The Good 0:56:25 - The Bad 1:08:33 - The Ugly 1:25:20 - Improving the Film