Screeners Podcast

The Screeners put Chris in charge of Jump Cuts this week, and for once they're able to keep the discussion brief. Not that we’re saying anything about the level of thought required to answer these particular questions or anything; Josh just happens to have a very succinct opinion about the Apple Watch.

Oh yeah, and if you ever wanted to relive precious childhood memories of watching Airwolf, you’ll definitely want to tune in for this segment. That’s right—Airwolf. Only on the Screeners Podcast.

For the main event this time, the Screeners have a different kind of double header. First up, they’ve revived an old favorite segment, cleverly rebranding it to something more playful yet in no way more suggestive: “Convince Me to Watch” is now “Made You Look”.

Each host has chosen a viewing assignment for one of the others, and they do their best to keep their picks outside the other’s normal wheelhouse. Join the fun as Chris takes a comedic look at institutional racism, Chad is forced to watch a movie that may have been shot on a cell phone, Josh contemplates the nature of time travel, and Melody tries not to fall asleep (both during her movie and while recording the podcast).

Finally, the four try to salvage what remains of their cultural relevance by discussing HBO’s latest conversation piece, The Jinx. We won’t spoil the ending here; the media has done a good enough job of that already. Let’s just say that the format of the (series? documentary?) may be just as interesting as its content.

Aaand cut. It may not look like much from the summary here, but there was plenty to talk about in this episode; as always, join us over on Facebook with your feedback, fanfic, and furor.

He sang, he danced, he forced us to watch him in his underwear. Neil Patrick Harris hosted the Oscars this year, and besides his, um, inimitable hosting, the show boasted some unique musical performances, some inexcusable snubs, and 3 and a half hours of self-congratulatory...we mean, we love the Oscars. So very much. That's all we're contractually obligated to say, right? Good. Let's get on with our reviews.

Tonight the Screeners have a double feature in store, and in a surprise turn of events, Josh actually saw one of them! Please, hold your applause. It only makes him stronger.

First up, Kingsman: The Secret Service. Part espionage homage, part frat boy comedy, the Screeners have quite a bit to say about this Matthew Vaughn/Colin Firth joint. There's so much fun to be had here that they don't even need a spoiler section to pad the review time—er, dissect the narrative arc and contemplate the directorial choices. Yeah, that's what they normally do.

To round out the episode, Josh rejoins the group for a chat about Chappie, the latest Neil Blomkamp film about the robot who would be a boy. You can, um, check out this one's Rotten Tomatoes score for yourself if you're into that sort of thing. Are the critics right, though, or has Blomkamp returned to form after a little detour into whatever terrible writer's block gave birth to Elysium? See if you agree with the Screeners' theories about why bad movies happen to good people.

And there you have it—our first movie review of 2015. It only took us 3 months (and a couple in 2014, but who's counting?), but we're back in the saddle now, so look for more episodes, more new segments, and more opportunitites to interact with the show this year. As always, check us out over on Facebook to give us feedback on the episode and to see what's caught our eye in the news recently. 'Til next time!

No, we don’t think the audience will—yes, we know the last time was November; we just...oh, hi! We didn’t see you there. We were just talking to our agent. She thinks we should just close up shop and not even let you hear what the Screeners thought of 2014, that you’re not even listening at this point anyway. We’ve been insisting that we have a solemn duty to you, our loyal fans, and that we wouldn’t think of betraying that trust for anything longer than 3 months at a time. We’ll make her see reason yet.

Anyway, the Screeners did just get together, they did talk about their favorite movies of 2014 (and some of their least favorite), and they do want you to hear it. Unfortunately, you won’t hear it until after AMPAS renders their opinions moot with that little Sunday night shindig. Fortunately, the Screeners have no shame, and they don’t care. Enjoy!

The Screeners are back with a double-header of unique movies, one a blockbuster of sorts and one...not so much. Before that, though, we have a bit of nostalgia and nerdery to cover in Jump Cuts.

First up, superhero movies. Yes, again. In fact, it seems like we’ll be talking about superhero movies almost constantly for the foreseeable future, since the Marvel and DC universes are collectively pumping out at least 29 of them over the next 6 years. Why stop one short of 30, you ask? We think they’re waiting until Christmas to announce a Valentine’s Day release of The Punisher vs. Cupid. What can we say? They’re running out of characters.

Next, though, we have a topic that’s pretty much the opposite of overplayed. Johnny Rockets, the 50’s-themed restaurant chain, is apparently trying to bring back the drive-in theater. The last time we saw one of these was in Into the Furnace, and it didn’t look like a fun place to be. Maybe some drive-through burgers would help that, though. So whaddya say? Would you watch a movie sitting inside or near your car to save a few bucks?

Finally, a conversation all the Screeners can get behind. Now that every last one of them is a parent, they’ve been spending time pondering the important things in life—things like when children should be babysat by the TV and when it’s more appropriate to give them an iPad, how young is too young for the Saw movies, and what video games to introduce to their toddlers first. Among the four of them, there are fond childhood memories from the whole gamut—Atari 7200, Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, and even N64. Which controller will the next generation of Screeners wield first? (Hint: It won’t be the Atari joysticks; those blasted things never worked for more than 5 minutes at a time.)

To round off our two-segment episode, a double-header of thrillers—or at least, um, thrilling movies? Something like that.

First off, Nightcrawler. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a man with a goal near and dear to the Screeners’ hearts—getting the perfect shot. Does the movie itself succeed in the same way as its main character? This one seems to have drawn some interesting dividing lines between our hosts.

From the streets to the stars; the Screeners take on Interstellar in the second half of the main event. Well, three of them do, at least... If you’ve already heard what Neil deGrasse Tyson had to say about the space flick, you might be hankering for a more, er, intellectual take on the film. Well, wait no longer, folks; Michael Bay’s biggest fan is about to drop some knowledge.

That’ll do it for this episode. We had plenty of open questions this time around, so head on over to our Facebook page and let us know what you think about family outings at the drive-in, the games you can’t wait to play with your kids, and how wrong Chad was about Nightcrawler. See you next time!

That's right - after a (not-so) brief sabbatical, the Screeners are back! You didn't think we'd leave without saying goodbye, did you? Well, Chad might...

The fall TV season is upon us, so why shouldn't it dominate Jump Cuts? The Screeners play fast and loose with the buzzer as they talk about the new shows keeping them on the couch longer this year. While they're on the subject, they might as well also mention which returning shows have kept a spot in their DVRs (or wherever cord-cutters keep their TV queue) and the ones that have outstayed their welcomes.

To close out the round, it looks as though Netflix is breaking entertainment ground yet again, and it's ground the movie theaters would prefer to keep, um, unbroken. The sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is being released on the streaming service simultaneously with its theatrical debut, and the theaters are so upset that many are refusing to show it at all. Competition in distribution channels:  A good thing, or a bad thing? Guess what Josh (our resident free market apologist) thinks.

There's not a lot you can say about David Fincher's Gone Girl without spoiling something, but the Screeners are going to try to fit in their normal sanitized section before saying what they really thought. One thing that won't ruin a surprise for anyone, though: Josh didn't see it, so he'll sit out this segment.

To round out the episode, the Screeners finally get a chance to return to their gaming roots. Destiny, Bungie's dual-platform MMORPG/space shooter/ambitious 10-year odyssey, put up big sales numbers and has had the Internet abuzz ever since. It has everything you'd expect from a big franchise - huge fans, virtiolic detractors, and a large middle ground of people completely oblivious to its existence. Well, if you haven't heard anything about it yet, the Screeners have your back. We'll walk you through the ins and outs of the game mechanics, its highlights and its shortcomings. What did you think we've been doing for the past month?

And that'll do it for another episode of the Screeners. Join us over on Facebook to continue the conversation, and don't forget to email us your gamertag ( [email protected], in case you forgot) if you want to join us for some Destiny action on Xbox Live.

The Screeners are back, this time with heavier hearts than normal, as we have to recap  the life and death of yet another beloved celebrity. Robin Williams was a man with a bullet train for a mind and a mouth to match. Disarming, funny, and by all accounts as wonderful a human being as he was an actor—you’ll be missed, Genie.

The hosts spend the first Jump Cut reliving their favorite memories from Robin’s prolific career—and no, they won’t be paying any attention to the buzzer.

We should take this opportunity to also bid farewell to Lauren Bacall. She was a generation or so before (most of) the Screeners, so we don’t have quite the same attachment to her as our parents or grandparents might, but she’s definitely earned a mention. By the way, if you ever get the chance, you should ask Chad, “You do know how to whistle, don’t you?”

After the nostalgia, it’s back to the controversy machine that is cable television—or, in this case, premium television. Nic Pizzolatto, the writer (and college professor) behind HBO’s True Detective, has been accused of plagiarizing his most memorable character. Is there some truth to the claims, or is the Internet just blowing smoke?

Moving back to the big screen, we’re in the middle of blockbuster season, but the Screeners only have so many main events to talk about new releases. The four spend a little time on micro-reviews of this year’s also-rans...except for Josh. We’re never sure what he’s going to add to a conversation about movies one sees in a theater.

Our last Jump Cut for this episode moves away from passive entertainment entirely and into the world of mobile apps. Facebook’s causing yet another privacy ruckus with their new Messenger app. It shouldn’t take us a full 4 minutes to explain how these sorts of things work and why people should either stop whining or stop using Facebook, but we’ll give it a shot.

Josh is once again absent for the main event since he anticipates his next trip to the theater to be some time after we put an astronaut on Mars, but Melody, Chris, and Chad are more than capable of doing Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles justice. In fact, a room of chimps with microphones (instead of typewriters...get it?) could probably do that movie justice, but have you ever tried to rent chimps? It’s not easy.

But wait! There’s more! If you listen for the next 10 minutes (or so…), you’ll also hear a review of Guardians of the Galaxy at no extra charge! Don’t say we never did anything nice for you.

To round out the episode, play along with a rousing game of...The Tomatoes are Wrong? Rotten Guessers? Whatever we’re calling it, Josh is playing this time. In honor of Robin Williams, the Screeners (minus Chad, who gets to host since he’s currently the rottenest of all the tomatoes) will be trying their hand at predicting the critics’ ratings of some of the last 30 years’ best-known comedies. Play along at home, and see if you’re better at guessing random numbers than we are!

That’ll do it for this episode; make sure to join us next time, when...you know what? We haven’t decided our next set of topics yet. How about you head on over to Facebook and let us know what you want us to talk about. But, um, don’t use the Messenger app, because it’s evil or something. We heard that if you install it, Donald Trump will buy your local water tower and put his name in 50-foot gold letters on the side.

Important news first: Josh is back (for this episode, at least)! He’s taken a break from his new life of juggling childcare, work, and leaning in (dudes are allowed to do that too, right?) to talk about some of the most entertaining news in entertainment right now.

First off in jump cuts, those wascally wegiswators are at it again, trying to classify anything on the internet that takes up more bandwidth than a Geocities site as a potential terrorist threat. You may have heard about net neutrality from John Oliver, and since it’s kind of a tech thing, normally Josh would only be covering this on the podcast he records inside his head. As you may have figured out, though, this could potentially affect Netflix, so the Screeners are all over it. This should be fun…

Next up, we’ve got another Biblical movie coming our way in December. Ridley Scott is taking on Exodus, subtitling it “Gods and Kings”. It looks epic, sure, but will it work? We’re sure Melody will love it, at least.

And now, for something completely different:  Chad’s already sung the (somewhat backhanded) praises of Seth Rogen and James Franco’s The Interview, but North Korea had to go and whine to the UN that the movie was actually an act of war, so we can’t help but talk about it again.

Oh, and because Josh heard Rogen and Franco’s names and really wanted to post this link somewhere again:  Watch this. You can thank us later. It was apparently shot on the set of The Interview, so there’s the tie-in, though we honestly don’t care if there’s a tie-in or not.

Speaking of Korea, there’s a South Korean movie opening around the country on demand while its theatrical release is still expanding. Snowpiercer is a unique sci-fi movie with a distribution model that’s gaining steam; have any of the Screeners joined the on demand bandwagon?

This episode’s main event is a double feature, though the films could hardly be more different. We have a documentary about one of the most celebrated film critics in the history of film critics, and we have...a Planet of the Apes movie. Which is better? That’s like asking whether Beethoven’s music is better than Bob Dylan’s, whether Dickens wrote better than Hemingway...OK; we can’t keep that up. Just go ahead and listen - but before you do, guess which movie Josh hasn’t seen.

The Emmys are upon us once more, and we think it’s in the podcast’s charter somewhere that we have to talk about awards shows, because what’s more fun than watching rich people in fancy clothes pat each other on the back, right?

Anyway, the Screeners don’t have time to talk about all the awards, but for this installment of the Cutting Room Floor, they’ve decided to take a look at the most traditionally “important” awards and predict two things about each:  which nominee will win, and which one should win. Come August 25, we’ll tally up the scores and give the winning Screener a golden...alright; we’ll probably just come up with some reason to mock them.

That about does it for this episode; join us next time for more Michael Bay bashing -- err, conversation about media! Don’t forget to join the conversation on Facebook!

The Screeners continue our summer of movies with reviews of two box office hits: How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Transformers: Age of Extinction. After years of teasing Chris about his love for the Transformers films, will the Screeners be able to have a civil discussion about this long-awaited motion picture event?

WHAT WE'VE BEEN WATCHING

Somehow, in between all the summer movie mayhem, the Screeners have managed to watch some small screen programming as well. Tune in to find out what's on our media radar! (Guess what... Chris finds a way to bring up Hannibal once again!)

DOUBLE FEATURE: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR TRANSFORMER

If only those giant robots could be trained... Oh wait! Optimus Prime may or may not discover the secret to doing just that in the fourth installment of the franchise. But first! We must discuss the highly acclaimed How to Train Your Dragon 2. Do the Screeners feel that this sequel lives up to the greatness of the original? 

Then, Chris finally gets to review Michael Bay in all his glory... if Chad will cease his groaning enough to listen. Good thing Josh is still on maternity leave or things might have just gotten ugly! Melody attempts to keep the peace (not really) as the Screeners discuss the best and worst parts of this grand epic.

And that's it for this week! More summer movies coming next time!

In this bonus episode, Chad and Chris discuss their impressions of the 2014 Electronic Entertainment Expo!

The Screeners welcome summer with a triple play review of three major blockbusters: X-Men Days of Future Past, Maleficent, and Edge of Tomorrow. Interestingly enough, it seems that all three films have a common goal in mind... to rewrite history. Let's see if the Screeners are on board with the rewrites! 

STRAIGHT TO THE MAIN EVENT

No time for jump cuts this week - we all love to hear ourselves talk too much to make time for a triple header AND a warm up act. So... we begin with the highly praised X-Men Days of Future Past. Does Bryan Singer redeem his last few films with this next installment of the X-Men saga? Or has this franchise descended too far into mediocrity to be salvaged? And most importantly, can Chris handle the implications of this film on future X-Men films, or must he stage a great protest? (Review -  01:36 Spoilers - 14:15)

Then we move to the much anticipated retelling of the classic Disney story of Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent. Though the critics have given this film mixed reviews, perhaps the Screeners have a more definitive take on its merits - or lack thereof.  (Review - 28:36 Spoilers - 41:44)

Finally, Tom Cruise takes to the big screen again with yet another action/sci-fi flick. Is this the one that will finally stand above the crowd? The screeners appear to have some rather passionate thoughts about Edge of Tomorrow. (Review - 47:10 Spoilers - 59:05)

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR – MORE GAMES! (1:09:40)

After the great feedback from last week's game segment, Chad brings a new game to the Screeners. One of our own dominates this game... wonder who it will be? Hint: Anthony Hopkins is not the correct answer.