Screeners Podcast

City destruction never looked so good! Join the Screeners as we finally move away from superheroes for a brief respite and tackle something completely different – a giant, earth-shaking, laser-shooting monster. You know you want to hear if our little group of self-appointed critics agree with the masses about this latest summer blockbuster!

JUMP CUTS

24 has returned to prime time after a 5 year break… is it meeting our expectations? Is it, perhaps, exceeding them? Or is it just a disappointing network attempt to compete with the premium channels’ superior programming?

Ever wonder why certain TV shows seem to dazzle the masses, but leave you feeling less than impressed? We certainly do. Let’s talk about these shows… and see if we agree.

After mentioning some amazing TV title sequences on last week’s episode, we decided to have a whole jump cut in honor of the greatest TV title sequences of all time (or at least in recent memory).

And finally, two trailers have debuted recently that deserve our rapt attention… Guardians of the Galaxy and Interstellar. Let’s see if they have us more or less excited. 

 A SPECTAULAR SPECTACLE?

Godzilla. Really, what else is there to say?

There’s a monster. He smashes cities. People attempt to stop the smashing. Somehow the entire world is not destroyed.

We’ll save the rest for spoilers.

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR – LET’S PLAY A GAME!

Guest host Brandon invents a fun new game for the Screeners to compete with this week… Guess the Rotten Tomatoes Score! Brandon has collected some of the highest grossing films of the last few years, and tests the Screeners’ knowledge of their critical acclaim by pitting us against each other in a bidding war for the closest rotten tomatoes score. Some Screeners might be just a little better at this than others… also Brandon might be playing favorites… but in any case, it’s fun for all. Play along with us!

The Screeners tackle another comic book film this week… will Melody be able to handle yet another masked guardian? Josh is still out learning to be a daddy, so long-time friend of the show Rob Reid joins the Screeners for this jam-packed episode.

NEVER-ENDING JUMP CUTS – DO WE USE THE BUZZER ON EVERY SINGLE QUESTION?

Another exclusive programming contender has entered the ring… XBOX Originals has announced a new content line-up to launch in June. But is it worth the watch? Let’s find out if street soccer captures the interest of the Screeners.

Sony has announced a new storage device… a cassette tape. Is this a joke of some sort, or is there just nothing new under the sun? Although a cassette tape that can hold 3700 blu-rays worth of storage may be of some interest after all.

And now the outrage that has taken the world by storm! Comixology sells to Amazon and destroys their own app when they get rid of the in-app purchase feature. (Okay, perhaps there is only a select group of people who care about this at all, but they appear to carevery much.)

Chad has to bring us back to the more worthwhile thought pursuits… have big-budget film special effects become so commonplace that we are now desensitized to the greatness of it all? And does spectacle now take precedence over story? These are the musings that keep the screeners up at night. (Late night. Recording this podcast for all you awesome fans.)

AMERICA’S LESS FAVORITE HERO

The Amazing Spiderman 2 – hooray, another superhero! But this one appears to fracture the screeners more than most. Was this latest iteration of the Spiderman franchise better than the first in the Amazing Spiderman series? And is it worth the watch at all? Let’s see which screeners can convince the others of this film’s merit or lack thereof.

CONVINCE ME TO WATCH

Speaking of convincing, the Screeners are at it again! Each Screener picked out a show or movie for another to watch… and the selections will probably not be a surprise to anyone! (Hint… Chris’ pick is one that he talks about on Literally. Every. Show.)

Screeners welcome a new guest host to the team while Josh plays hooky…apparently having a baby takes precedence over movie talk with his Screener pals. We see how it is, Josh. Without the balance of Josh’s contrary perspectives, will the Screeners be able to restrain their positivity about the latest installment from the Marvel universe? We shall find out.

CAN THE MEDIAS KEEP US ENTERTAINED?

We begin with the question that is surely on the minds of all Screeners podcast listeners… what else are these people doing to entertain themselves in the world of media? Our answers might shock you… or perhaps not.

Chad informs the Screeners that movie theaters are losing their younger demographics of viewers and they are blaming those newfangled mobile devices! How dare anyone suggest that the industry may have to adapt?

Next up, it appears that NBC has completely run out of imaginative ideas and will be outsourcing their show writing to anyone with a computer and a creative concept! Will one of the Screeners be the next big thing on NBC?

Chris can’t let an episode go by without drawing our attention back to our mobile devices. The Screeners discuss Google’s new Project Ara, a modular smart phone (aka: a “Lego-lover’s pipe dream”).

AMERICA’S FAVORITE HERO

Captain America: The Winter Soldier – is this one of the best Marvel superhero films of all time? Or is it just another in a long line of lackluster flicks that leave us less and less entertained? Find out which Screeners can still find the magic, and which ones are beginning to suffer from superhero burnout.

The Mailbag Lives!

And Josh returns from the delivery room! (Actually we just recorded this segment last week. But it’s still good to have his happy, optimistic voice join the conversation.)

The majority of Screeners listeners are a reticent lot so far, but we do still get a question every now and then.

For this episode, fans have posed some real doozies (or not, depending on who’s answering). We’ll find out what movie(s) each Screener would remake if they had the chance, get a sampling of their favorite books of all time, and hear about some TV shows that may be past their prime, but that come highly recommended by our hosts.

Thanks to Mike, Maria, and Samantha for the questions; as for the rest of you (you know who you are), if you ever have a nagging curiosity, idle musing, or burning rage that you want to let us know about, we have an email address, Facebook page, and comments section. Where findest one all these wondrous resources, you may ask? You’ll have to listen to the podcast to find out!

Russell Crowe is back in theaters, and apparently destroying music in Les Miserables wasn’t enough for him, because now he’s trampling on the story of Noah and the rest of the Bible too—or at least that’s what some of your Facebook friends think. We’ll get there, but first we’ve got a lightning round to shock you with.

The recent SXSW show may have struck a huge blow for a topic dear to the Screeners’ hearts:  the democratization of filmmaking. A distribution company called VHX marked the end of their private beta, declaring open season on their platform for indie content creators everywhere. A marketplace like this could be the difference between an audience of 10 and one of 10,000 or more...so when will we see Chris’s first Michael Bay fan fiction hit our computer screens?

From something all the Screeners seem to care about, we move to something pretty much no one does—the cast for the new Fantastic Four movie. The only reason we’re talking about it is because the studio’s made an interesting choice in picking Michael B. Jordan to play Johnny to Kate Mara’s Susan Storm. Is the decision based on having the best person for the job, or is this very conversation and dozens other like it the reason for the casting?

Next up, just because the Screeners like to open up old wounds from time to time, they can’t resist mentioning a brand new way to pirate movies that made its way onto the scene not too long ago. Popcorn Time is Netflix for people who don’t care whether their entertainment is legal; can you guess what the Screeners think about it? No? Neither can we—this should be enlightening…

And now, for something completely different:  The Screeners have landed their first sponsor, indiebox. Started by gamers who found themselves disappointed that the Internet has slowly sucked all the anticipation they used to get from buying an actual game that came in an actual box from an actual store, indiebox is aiming to bring back some of that thrill. Their subscription service delivers an lovingly crafted indie game to you every month as a customized “cartridge” packaged in—you guessed it—an old-school cardboard box that’s full of other game-related swag. The Screeners have a few questions for indiebox’s president, James Morgan, but the main one seems to be, “When can we try it?” (May. The answer’s May.)

OK, we promised controversy, and controversy you will get. Noah is out in theaters; it’s being hailed as the first blockbuster of the season and all sorts of other generic praise you see on trailers, but it’s also been pretty divisive, and you can probably guess why. Make art based on thousands of years of religious tradition, and chances are you’re not going to please everyone. Aronofsky’s never been satisfied with aiming his films at the lowest common denominator, though, and his movies often explore complicated topics in a unique way.

The question for a work like this might not be so much the relationship of the source material to the final product, but rather the effect of that final product itself. While he’s trying to avoid slavishly reproducing the original, can Aronofsky make something capable of standing on its own?

Also, which Screener can yell the loudest?… go!

* For those who didn't find the last episode's title pretentious enough...

The Screeners are back yet again to stare into the abyss of media and see if it stares back—and if you recognize that reference, our main event is right down your alley. If you don’t...listen anyway. We managed to record an episode within a month of the last one; we feel we deserve some credit.

Anywho...Jump Cuts.

Every episode, the Screeners introduce the rules of their lightning round, then they proceed to ignore those rules. It’s become a tradition at this point. We blame Chad, right? Sure, why not? In fact, the first two topics this time took so long that they’re the only “jump” “cuts” we have this episode. They’re doozies, though.

As you may have noticed if you pay attention to video games or browse the Internet from time to time, Titanfall, the new darling of the Xbox One, was released last week to much hype and fanfare. Chris and Chad went to the store immediately and begged to have their money taken; Josh, however, is slightly more stubborn (in case you hadn’t noticed...and if you hadn’t, just ring your call button, and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer, because...but we digress).

Josh’s Titanfall question is more of a challenge:  Convince him to buy the game without threatening to stop being his friend just because you tired of Call of Duty after 10 minutes and want to play with the new shiny. Are the others up to the task?

After the first-person shooter dust settles, Melody shares some updates about her adventures in self-publishing. The Great Darkening made a sizable splash on Amazon due to some smart, persistent marketing, and she’s willing to share a couple (though not all, of course) of her secrets.

...but it’s really all the main events we’ve ever done and will ever do, all at once, in a super-position.

That’s right; we’re going to talk about True Detective, or at least mention 20% of the discussion material the HBO phenomenon has to offer. Is it catharsis? Is it a virus? How much, if any, of our genetic programming is worth keeping? We’d tell you, but reading as much Schopenhauer and Nietzsche as it would take for you to understand the answer is enough to drive anyone mad.

And that’s about all we can say if you haven’t seen the show. Seriously, go watch it, then get back to us. This episode will still be here. In fact, this isn’t the first time it’s been here.

The Screeners’ Flickchart rankings have gathered dust, and for good reason. Josh’s complete inexperience at watching movies combined with everyone else’s terrible taste and sense of nostalgia once led to The Mighty Ducks topping the charts for several months. Its reign of terror was finally ended by Back to the Future, which is better, but by how much?

Well, once more into the breach. Join us for our final segment as Josh recuses himself from matchup after matchup, and Chad experiments with Flickchart’s “hipster cage match” setting, which only pits Nicolas Cage and Mel Gibson movies against Reese Witherspoon oeuvres to see how many times users will ironically vote for Face/Off.

And that’ll do it for this episode. Join us next time for a completely controversy-free conversation about Darren Aronofsky’s Noah.

Another Oscars ceremony has lumbered by, and you know what that means—the Screeners have been at their microphones for a whole year! Cue the confetti and cocaine...what? No cocaine? What kind of party is this, anyway? We’ll never get the stock brokers to show up now!

Let’s see—1 year, 18 episodes...that means we’re doing at least twice as much of this as Downton Abbey, right? And practice makes perfect, so take that, England.

We start off this episode’s Jump Cuts by taking a little more time on something we only mentioned in passing last episode:  Our memories of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Each Screener recaps their favorite Hoffman roles, and the diversity of genre and tone in the movies that have stuck in everyone’s hearts is a testament to Hoffman’s range and screen presence.

Next up, an opinion piece from the LA Times dares to go against the grain of popular culture and call out House of Cards as everything that’s wrong with Netflix culture. Apparently the show has no redeeming qualities, and the only reason anyone likes it is because they’ve binge-watched it and are practically comatose by the end of the season. This should be a fun discussion.

Hey, did you hear they remade RoboCop? Yeah; it’s out in theaters and everything. Some of the Screeners saw it, and some didn’t, but it might surprise you to learn which Screeners were in each camp (spoiler alert: no, it won’t). Turns out there might be a conversation to be had, though, so it’s probably worth the 180-ish seconds of your time to listen to this one.

Finally, if we haven’t already courted enough controversy this episode, let’s talk about the Bible a bit. Specifically, let’s talk about Darren Aronofsky’s rendition of Noah. Turns out the studio’s recut version tested horribly, so in a rare reversal, Paramount gave final cut control back to Aronofsky. Since the movie’s a little more...artistic this way, though, they’ve decided to aim for fundamentalist appeasement by adding a disclaimer to their marketing materials. Good idea, or bad idea?

After years of teasing us—umm, we mean our younger relatives and neighbors’ children—with video games starring animated Lego figurines that did nothing more than grunt in excitement and growl in frustration, the powers that be have finally deigned to give us a full-length Lego movie, complete with voice acting and everything.

Can the Screeners really be won over by a PG-rated animated movie whose only claims to fame are obsessive devotion to the real-life mobility limitations of Lego figurines, great voice acting, and solid humor? Let’s find out.

You thought we’d forgotten about the Oscars, didn’t you? Well, we tried, but when something takes place over as significant a portion of your lifetime as Academy Awards ceremonies do, it’s difficult to forget, try though you may.

Anyway, what happened again? Ah, yes; some people won awards; other people couldn’t read teleprompters, and the ceremony ran so long that the host ordered pizza for the audience.

The Screeners, however, are contractually obligated to have opinions about the Oscars, though, so here we go. We really have to renegotiate our deals next year…

And that does it for this episode. If you want to say Happy Birthday or tell us how old we’re looking these days, drop us a comment here or over on Facebook; see you next time!

Editor’s note: We didn’t dedicate a section of the episode to discussing this, but we wanted to express our continuing sadness at the recent passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman. A talent as piercing as his brings characters to life in a way that made us at times uncomfortable, at times sympathetic, but always admiring of the person who so fully embodied the words on the page. We saw ourselves in his insecurity, we raged with him at the injustices he suffered, and we worried that there might be more of ourselves in him than we’d like.

Along the way, many of us became transfixed by his performances and failed to note the very real problems that the very real Philip did not hide from the public. We were surprised to learn (or relearn) that he had a long history with a variety of drugs and were shocked when the disease overtook him. In the wake of the tragedy, many of us felt a loss deeper than we’d felt before at the news of a celebrity’s death, sudden or not. Perhaps we all feared vicariously for ourselves one last time. The brightest flames leave us the coldest when extinguished.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please reach out for help. You’re not alone.

You thought we were done for good that time, didn’t you? Nope; we just like to keep our fans on their toes. You lose hope in us, you lose a little more hope, then...bam! A new episode—just when you least expect it. Yeah, we’re pretty much the ninjas of unreliable new media distribution.

Anyway, this episode is all about the past year in media, except for the part that’s about the coming year in media. Since the Screeners all have long lists of favorites and least favorites to discuss/argue, we won’t spoil the fun here by summarizing everything in agonizing bulleted list fashion. OK, maybe just one bulleted list:

• Melody should maybe let herself be OK with having a little fun.

• Josh should read a book once in awhile (we’ve given up on Chris, but there’s still hope for Josh).

• Chris hearts explosions.

• Chad might spend more time consuming media than talking to other human people. Not that that’s a bad thing.

The end. Let’s get straight to the fun! Next time on the Screeners:  Maybe some Oscars, maybe some Legos...maybe a little bit of both.

The Christmas sequel season is upon us, and even though the Screeners have been busy decking the halls and raising money for Josh's critically needed heart enlargement surgery (because it's two sizes too small...ba-dum chh), they couldn't resist getting together for just one review. 

And if you're going to see one sequel this year,  we're betting it'll be The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. It is the second movie of the second trilogy of the biggest franchise of our generation,  after all (with apologies to Kanye for stealing his pointless hyperbole shtick).

The Hobbit has hit #1 at the box office for 3 weeks in a row, but was it worth the Screeners' time? OK...did at least the three Screeners with normal human sentiment like it? Listen and find out—it won't take too long; we promise.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

With Thanksgiving upon us, you might expect the Screeners to take a couple leisurely weeks off, much like your favorite late-night shows, but they’re having none of it. Hollywood’s releasing blockbusters at the end of November, so they’re here to deconstruct them...after Jump Cuts, of course.

The holidays have arrived, so we might as well enjoy them in the lightning round. Chris starts us off by soliciting the Screeners’ favorite holiday movies. They manage to come up with almost entirely different lists, and Josh has even seen a couple of the movies on them. Christmas miracles do exist!

And speaking of classic holiday joy, NBC is bringing back the Christmas musical. Except instead of finding the next Bing Crosby, they’ve cast Carrie Underwood to star in a revival of the stage version of The Sound of Music. We’re going to go ahead and assume that everyone’s first reaction is a bewildered, “Wait...what?” But could it work?

From red and green all the way to noir:  Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are slated to work together on one of DC’s upcoming film properties. Unfortunately, they’re only signed up as producers, and the superhero star for this one is Sleeper. 

“Who?”

Yeah, that’s what we said.

Finally, a moment of silence for television. That’s right. Cable companies are seeing their subscriber rolls decline, and people are even dropping broadband plans in some areas. The graphs are undeniable, but what does this actually mean for the industry? Who better to make semi-informed prognostications than the Screeners?

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire is officially the highest-grossing November movie of all time. In a season usually dedicated to a slate of somewhat artsy movies, Hollywood has gambled on a teen-targeted blockbuster, and it’s paid off so far, at least in ticket sales.

What does this say for the fall movie season, though...and, more importantly, what can the Screeners find to argue about in the story of Katniss’ sacrificial love and courage? We’re betting there’s something…

For this episode’s Cutting Room Floor, the Screeners welcome their first-ever celebrity guest. Author RG Triplett joins the fray to talk about his new project, the Epic of Haven trilogy. The first book, The Great Darkening, is slated for release next March. He’s self-publishing the whole series with the help of some enterprising friends (including maybe a Screener or two) and hoping to gain some traction with a Kickstarter campaign, so there’s plenty of conversation material. Oh yeah, and we should probably ask him about the story itself while we have him around. 

It’s a busy episode, but that about wraps things up. See you next time on the Screeners Podcast!

This episode marks a milestone in Screeners history:  For the first time, literature has made its way to the main event. Well, science fiction literature. And it’s only there because it was made into a movie. And we had to temper even that by following it with a review of a comic book movie...look; stop harshing our buzz, alright? We’re trying to encourage Chris to read here; cut us some slack!

Before the Screeners get into the double-feature main event, though, you know we gots to have us a lightning round. The questioning this time starts out with a winter movie preview. The fall/winter season it typically the bulwark of your more artsy/contemplative films, but Josh seems somehow saddened by this year’s prospects. At least Keanu Reeves is back in the spotlight; that has to be good news, right? Wait, no; “good” wasn’t the right word there…

If the winter’s disappointing, at least next year will bring the advent of 4K (or UHD, or whatever the marketers are calling it this week) streaming—or so says Netflix. For now, they’re making good on their claims with test footage of flowers growing, people riding bikes, and (we assume) shockingly crisp-looking blades of grass growing before our very eyes. Let’s play the cable news game on this too:  Good thing, or bad thing?

From streaming video to the boxes that deliver it to us (and supposedly do other things):  The Playstation 4 has just hit the streets, with the Xbox One close on its heels. Will the Screeners be participating in this gaming generation—and if so, where do their loyalties lie? If you don’t know the answer to those yet, welcome! We love new listeners!

Finally, our resident senior citizen advocate raises awareness for an issue near and dear to his heart. It seems that television shows are geared toward the demographics that advertisers want to reach, and that people who aren’t part of those demographics get upset by this. Some of them even write convoluted and self-contradictory op-eds about it. Agism’s bad! Bring back Harry’s Law!

OK, on to the fun stuff. Orson Scott Card has won a number of science fiction awards for his work on Ender’s Saga, the series that began with Ender’s Game back in the late 70s. The Screeners had originally planned to read the book in advance of the movie and review it on an episode sometime this summer, thus completely ruining the movie for everyone and giving Josh an opportunity to be truly pretentious on air.

However, due to contingencies the astute listener will have already predicted, that didn’t happen. Instead, our dauntless hosts decided to combine the book and film reviews into one mega-review...and then talk about Thor as well. What resulted is a rambling sociopolitical diatribe that Josh will be happy to elaborate if asked...oh, and there was a mention or two of a movie in there somewhere. We can’t really remember.

After Josh has exhausted everyone's patience, the Screeners dedicate some Thor, which we really shouldn’t downplay so much since it’s the next in a series of relatively strong Marvel properties and is maybe more entertaining than some people give it credit for...but it’s somehow just more fun if we relegate it to a single sentence at the very end of the notes.

One overly long, awkward sentence. That’s how we roll.

‘Til next time.