Many older men, especially those who are socially isolated, face significant challenges – from physical ill-health, to loneliness, to marginalisation and poverty. These struggles can be compounded by the ‘hard shell’ of masculinity, learnt young and persisting through the life-course, which can leave some older men feeling a loss of a sense of purpose and potency, and prevent them from opening up about their vulnerabilities or the need for connection and support. Yet growing older can also provide opportunities for reflection, taking life in new directions, and leaving behind restrictive gendered expectations. 

In this episode of Now and Men, we have a moving conversation with Sé Franklin about the work he does with older men in Ireland on these issues – as well as the profound impact of doing ‘inner work’ guided by feminist principles. We consider some of the significant social change which has been taking place in Ireland – from divorce reform, to marriage equality, and abortion rights – and what it tells us about gender in Irish society today. The episode ends with Sé reading out a piece he has written on being an older man.

Sé Franklin has been ‘sitting with men in circles’ since 1997. He has worked with the Men's Development Network and other community-based organisations for many years. He has been part of the MenEngage Europe Network since its inception. He is a husband, father and grand-father, and lives in rural County Wexford in the South-East of the Republic of Ireland.

In this episode we cover the following topics:

• The group work Sé does with older men in Ireland
• The role of masculinity in this work and in older men’s lives
• The positive effects engaging with older men can have
• Having a men’s health strategy in Ireland
• The personal impacts that doing this work has
• How poetry can be used in engaging with men
• The value of doing inner work
• Stopping men’s violence against women in Ireland after the killing of Ashling Murphy
• The implications of ongoing social change in Ireland around divorce law reform, same-sex marriage and abortion
• Sé’s reading of his piece, ‘An Old Man’s Masculinities’

Links:

• Men’s Development Network - https://mensnetwork.ie
• We talk to Colm Kelly Ryan, Head of Programmes and Advocacy at the Men's Development Network, in episode 6, 'Men Marching Against Violence Against women' - https://now-and-men.captivate.fm/episode/seville-march
• White Ribbon Ireland - https://mensnetwork.ie/whiteribbon/  
• MenEngage Europe - https://menengage.org/region/europe/

Explainers:

• Irish Men’s Sheds Association - https://menssheds.ie
• ‘Calls for action on gender-based violence after Ashling Murphy killing’ (The Guardian) - https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/17/calls-for-action-on-gender-based-violence-after-ashling-murphy-killing-ireland
• ‘Huge Republic of Ireland vote for gay marriage’ (BBC News) - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32858501
• ‘Ireland votes by landslide to legalise abortion’ (The Guardian) -  https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/26/ireland-votes-by-landslide-to-legalise-abortion
• ‘Jake Daniels: Blackpool player says coming out will allow him to be ‘free’ and ‘confident’’ (BBC Sport) - https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/61467159
• ‘Divorce in Ireland - A controversial history’ (RTÉ) - https://www.rte.ie/news/politics/2019/0505/1047643-divorce-history/
• Report by Sandy, ‘Working with Older Men: A Review of Age Concern Services’ (2006) - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237443978_Working_with_Older_Men