Sean Healy: Tools

This episode is by audience request. How do we face toxic shame and continue to move forward in our lives. Toxic Shame is where we take the feelings of shame and we collapse it into our identity. I have an uncomfortable feeling of wrongness becomes "I am wrong!"

When we begin to feel that we are wrong or we are driven to avoid this feeling it can really dictate our choices and actions in life. Shame survives by hiding and can pull us away from having the kind of joyful life and relationship experiences that we want and deserve!

I hope you find this episode helpful and offers you extra insight into self-support.

The parenting journey is so amazing and challenging at the same time and I can't think of a greater self-development course than embarking on the journey of raising a child!

This episode is designed to support parents and further champion children by inviting parents to examine their own childhood experiences. The more aware we are of the reality of what we experienced growing up the more conscious rather than reactive our parenting becomes.

We need to look with honesty and balance at what went on and how it may be biasing our parenting in a way that is not allowing us to honour the authenticity of our child.

It is hard to acknowledge our child's emotions if we didn't get much of that as a child. It is challenging to allow a child to be who they are if we grew up in a family with very strong ideas of expectation of who we should be to gain approval.

The more aware we are as parents of our drivers them more fulfilling, enriching and wonderous our relationships with our children can be!

How do we esteem with greater effectiveness and acknowledge our innate worth?

When we are able to operate from a place of functional adult our relationships improve and deepen. This focus is just as valuable when considering improving business relationships as it is in our personal lives.

Some of our past experiences and conditioning has caused us to lose sight of our inborn value. When we devalue self, we set a precedent for others to do the same.

Functional adulting is something we do and when we understand more about what it involves to embrace this life improves. I hope you find the episode thought provoking!

Verbal like physical abuse happens behind closed doors and the victim can feel isolated, confused and as if they somehow are to blame.

This episode uses Patricia Evans' insightful book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" as a reference and a resource.

Through understanding some of the patterns of toxic verbal abuse we can reclaim our right to healthy relating or keep an eye out for our friends and family members who may be in this type of terrible experience.

What are some key red flags to look for in relating between two people, and what happens when we are playing by different relationship rules that we weren't informed about?

What are some of the key aspects to help us navigate into the kind of healthy relationships we desire to have?

This episode explores some of the key elements that are consistent in relationships that have secure attachment at their core. Knowing this assists us in keeping relationships on track or side step finding ourselves stuck in avoidant/anxious relating with our partner for too long.

I hope you find this episode a helpful resource.

Sometimes in order to deal with the uncertainty of future relationship history, we rush at the beginning. The rushing is designed to reduce anxiety about the relationship and the person we have just begun with.

Rushing, however, creates a fantasy and a false intensity which can mean that we miss out on true intimacy having a chance to develop.

Slowing down, setting boundaries on how much time is spent together and not racing to claim relationship status can be important steps to developing a lasting relational platform.

We need to stay out of fantasy and prematurely making up long-term nesting plans as it keeps us out of the present and really getting to know another as they are.

In this Episode we look at the desire we have for our partner to change and do something different. When are they going to be more loving, considerate and acknowledge how I feel?

Some people choose to hold onto a fantasy that their partner will change despite the everyday evidence that clearly shows nothing is different at all! Why hold onto a wishful desire that in time they will finally see the error of their ways and completely transform.

The likelihood of this is slim without engaging in some form of active, recovery, healing, self-development or recovery work. It can be painful to face reality but it is the gateway to a more wondrous, loving and fulfilling relationship experience.

Modern life is so demanding and we can get pulled in so many directions. As a result, we can unintentionally put our intimate relationship on the back burner.

We give all day to others and then come home and crash onto the couch, disappear into social media and forget to connect with the one we love most.

If we continue to use our home and our relationship as a place to go to shut down then ultimately our relationship will be at risk. We lose the spark as we are only giving our best selves to our customers and the big wide world. All we have left consistently for our partners is the crumbs.

We need to make sure we bring our best selves home once in a while like we did when the relationship began if we want to keep the stability and erotic alive!

If done well a family business can be a fantastic experience! We generally tend to spend more time with those we work with than anyone else. Why not spend it with those you love!

However there can be challenges and risks when we combine family dynamics with the stress and pressure of business. 

It is so important to take the family out of family business at certain times and stick with professional behaviour.

If we can do this we increase the chance of creating healthy, loving, thriving businesses and enjoying family at the same time.

This episode looks at a few key areas of challenge that face family business.

Enjoy!

How would that inform your decisions about yourself and your business?

When we come from the myth of scarcity it can drive us to operate in ways that are selfish, short-sighted and problematic.

As someone who has been driven by the idea of not being good enough and not having enough for most of my life, it is truly exhausting. Scarcity has at times robbed me of true joy and creativity.

This episode begins to explore the idea of sufficiency, inspired by the likes of Philanthropist and futurist Buckminster "Bucky" Fuller and a couple of his students, Marshall Thurber and Lynne Twist.

The paradigms of business and life are generally moving towards more informed views and global inclusiveness. I am enough and so are you! Enjoy!