Second Adolescence

This week's guest is queer style coach, Tess Clabby (they/them), and wow - this was such a fun, playful, and meaningful episode. At its core, this episode with Tess is an invitation for all of us to get more attuned to our most true and free self. Tess talks with us about how fashion and style can be tools for us to intentionally explore and uncover who we are and heal from internalized anti-queerness and anti-transness. Tess shares with us about what it means to be a queer style coach, where to even begin when wanting to explore finding the style that feels most right for us,  common blocks that get in peoples' way of finding their style, how style can be an impactful way for us to connect with our Kid Self, and SO much more!

About the guest:
Tess Clabby (they/them) is a queer style coach and multimedia artist. Tess works with queer, trans, and nonbinary folks to help them heal their relationship with clothes and start expressing a more authentic and expansive version of themselves through personal style. They believe that our clothes should bring us joy and that everyone deserves to have a closet full of clothes that fit their body, their personality, and their gender expression. When they’re not transforming the world through queer fashion one client at a time, Tess is probably busy collaborating with their partner Dicapria on their next giant monster puppet. You can find Tess on instagram @topstitchbitch and you can learn more about their work at www.topstitchbitch.com

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod

Download episode transcript here. 

This week's guest is writer Khalid El Khatib (he/him). I originally invited Khalid onto the show after a tweet of his was sent to me that so embodied the healing process in Second Adolescence, and I'm so glad I did. Some of you may know him and his story as the person who went viral with his mom for her 'home for the holiday' food plan. We do get a fun behind the scenes of this experience (appearance on the Today show included!) but also Khalid comes onto the show to share about his own personal journey of navigating identity, coming out, and the messy, growthful process of finding ourselves. I so loved getting to talk with Khalid and am excited to invite you all into the conversation.

About the guest:
Khalid is a New York-based writer and marketer. He works for a tech company and contributes as a freelancer to various outlets on topics such as art, food, and LGBTQ+ issues. He's also working on his first book. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram @kmelkhat.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode transcript here. 

On this week's episode we have artist and founder of The Queer Joy Project, Aimy Tien (she/they). The Queer Joy Project is a multimedia project that celebrates  queer stories: daily lived experiences, moments of happiness and serenity — each a form of resistance against today’s political climate. Through interviews with LGBTQIA+ subjects around the world and archival research, creator Tien reminds us not only of the world we are trying to build, but the community and happiness people find, even in the margins.

About the guest:
Aimy Tien (she/they) is an award-winning multidisciplinary artist based in Chicago. As an actor, writer, director, and producer, Aimy, a queer Vietnamese Chinese American, is driven by narrative plenitude, bringing the stories of people of color and marginalized groups to the page, stage, and screen. She is the founder of tinheart productions where they are developing multiple narrative projects centered on the intersections of race, healing, and sexuality. Outside of their film and stage work, Aimy facilitates conversations and workshops around the country on storytelling, queer advocacy, and equity, diversity, and inclusion. For more information about previous work and upcoming projects, you can visit their website AimyTien.com or follow them  @AimyTien.

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Download episode transcript here. 

Today's guest is Eli Lawliet, PhD (he/him), known by many as The Gender Doula.  This is the conversation to listen to for any of you who may be feeling some stress, anxiety, and fear in response to the continuously challenging political landscapes of our world. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is being proposed, passed, and upheld all throughout the world, and here in the United States we are anticipating a 2024 Presidential Election year. Eli grounds us all with such great invitations and advice for how to navigate these challenging times. 

In addition to offering great resourcing practices and invitations for the listener navigating political stress and fear, Eli also talks with us about such things as:

• transness and queerness as spiritual practices
• the power of being in relationship with our trans and queer ancestors
• what his work as a gender doula entails,
• and how we all need to heal our relationship with gender

For Eli's blog, visit here.

For information Eli's Breathwork for QT Holiday Stress, visit here.

For more about Eli, visit www.thegenderdoula.com and @thegenderdoula on IG.


About the guest:
Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., (he/him) is The Gender Doula - offering full-spectrum support to folks who are transitioning, questioning, or exploring their gender. He also uses his broad training to create workshops, classes, and resources to help gender expansive folks thrive. The scope of his work is broad, but the foundation is deeply rooted in transness as a spiritual practice. He lives in Los Angeles (Gabrieliño-Tongva land) with his partner, three cats, a dog, and four snakes.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod on IG

Download episode transcript here. 

To start off Season 5, we have a solo episode with host, Adam James Cohen, LMFT. Today's topic is on the unique experience of shame that queer people who grew up in an anti-queer world know intimately. Adam talks about what Chronic Shame is, the impact this had on our younger selves (and still on our current adult selves), why he considers this an experience of complex trauma, and how we begin to heal.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod on IG.

Download episode transcript here. 

This week’s guest is Tony C. (he/him). I loved getting to chat with Tony and was touched by his intention for wanting to come on the show, which in his words was because it might "be helpful to some of the listeners to hear from someone who hasn’t totally gotten their life together and is still in the middle of growing up.” We talked about a shared love of queer YA content, and the power that engaging in these stories has on us, his experience growing up homeschooled and how this plus being gay led to a stunted experience of adolescence compared to his peers. I so appreciated Tony contribution of his story and his mental health journey to this show, and am excited to invite you into the conversation.

About the guest:
Tony C. (he/him) is a near lifelong resident of Southern California. He was homeschooled during middle and high school in a less than traditional household. At 34, he’s still trying to figure his life out. It’s been a bit of a bumpy road with mental health issues along the way. He's speaking out now because he hasn’t heard other people with this kind of background on a podcast. You can follow in on Instagram at @imagineartony.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode here. 

This week’s guest is Aubri ('Data') Drake (they/them). They are a long-distance backpacker, hiker, and ultramarathon runner working to help those spaces become more inclusive. On this episode, Aubri shares with us about how their Second Adolescence took place on trail, thru-hiking the 2189 miles of the Appalachian Trail over 4 years, and how engaging in movement within nature became the container for a powerful process of finding integration between their body and deeper parts of self. I feel SO grateful to how Aubri is taking up space in the world and feel so grateful I got to be in conversation with them.

About the guest:
Aubri ('Data') Drake (they/them) is a white queer, ace spectrum, transgender, and genderqueer hiker, backpacker, ultrarunner, writer, researcher, and transgender activist in their mid-30s. They were raised poor and working class. They aim to be a trans and nonbinary ambassador and change-maker in long-distance backpacking, hiking, and ultramarathon running spaces.

Aubri has thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail, Europe's Tour du Mont Blanc, Vermont's Long Trail, John Muir Trail x2, Tahoe Rim Trail, New England Trail, New Hampshire's Cohos Trail, and is 85% done with the Pacific Crest Trail. They’ve also completed the Northeast 111 4000 Footers, the New England 67 4000 Footers, the Adirondack 46 High Peaks, and the New England Hundred Highest, all in both summer and winter seasons. They’ve run ultramarathon distances from 50K up to 100 miles, and set 16 Fastest Known Times. They have logged more than 8,500 miles on their feet in the last three years, and their writing has been featured in Trail Runner Magazine, Long Trail News magazine, and Nonbinary, an anthology from Columbia University Press.

They can frequently be found blogging about their adventures or sharing wilderness photos, cute cat pictures, and flying trapeze videos on Instagram.

For more visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode transcript here.

This week’s guest is Chris Curia (he/they). I loved getting to chat with Chris for many reasons, first being that we connected over the profession of psychotherapy as he is currently a psychotherapist in training, but I also SO appreciated them coming onto to share their story because they are someone who began really discovering their queerness recently within the COVID-19 pandemic. Chris shares how the stories of his coming out and pursuing training to become a therapist are so intertwined, which was also similar to my own story. There are so many things I could say about this conversation but I’ll let it speak for itself - I’m so grateful to have had the time with Chris and am so happy to invite you all into it.

About the guest:
Chris Curia (he/they) is a pre-licensed mental health care provider finishing their training at a small psychoanalytic institution in Seattle, WA. Their therapeutic approach is person-centered, queer-informed, relationally-driven, and culturally sensitive. Keep up with their life and work on socials @chriscuringle.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode transcript here.

This week's guest is writer Lamya H (she/they). Lamya is the author of the recent debut memoir, Hijab Butch Blues (The Dial Press, Penguin Random House). I cannot recommend this book enough, it was such beautiful and powerful book, and I was so excited to talk with Lamya all about it! On this episode, Lamya shares about the process of writing the memoir, both structurally how they decided to put it together and emotionally what it was like for them to tell the story of their younger selves. Lamya also shares about her resonance with the experience of Second Adolescence, and what this has looked like in their life.

About the guest:
Lamya H is a former Lambda Literary Fellow whose writing has appeared in Vice, Salon, Vox, Black Girl Dangerous, Autostraddle, and the Los Angeles Review of Books. They currently live in New York with their partner.

You can order Hijab Butch Blues here, and follow Lamya on Twitter (@lamyaisangry) and IG (@lamyaisangry)

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode transcript here. 

This week's guest is Rebecca Minor (she/her). Rebecca is a Gender Specialist therapist and educator who uses her platform to further the conversation, education, and support surrounding the experience of trans and gender nonconforming youth. In this conversation, we talk about her work as a Gender Specialist and also dive into her own experience of discovering and navigating the identities she holds and how this in turn supports the work she is doing in the world. As a therapist and a queer person, I SO loved getting to talk with Rebecca and am so grateful she wants to invite you all into the conversation, too.

About the guest:
Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW is a neuroqueer femme, clinician, consultant, and educator specializing in the intersection of trauma, gender, and sexuality. As a Gender Specialist, Rebecca partners with trans and gender nonconforming youth through their journey of becoming, and is a guide to their parents in affirming it. Rebecca is part-time faculty at Boston University School of Social work and always works through a lens that is neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and resilience-oriented. In addition to her clinical work, Rebecca has provided cultural humility training and consultation to organizations, schools, and businesses for the past decade. You can follow her work on IG at @gender.specialist or visit www.genderspecialist.com.

Links mentioned in the episode:
The Myth of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria blog post by Rebecca

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

Download episode transcript here.