Second Breaks

One of the things I’ve been reflecting on more and more is my personal growth in midlife and this stage in my life. In the book that I’m writing, there’s an entire chapter on what it means to continue to grow as we get older.

So, of course, I wanted to have a chat about this topic with my good friend and frequent collaborator, Yvonne Marchese, who has grown in leaps and bounds since I met her roughly 4 years ago. We sat down and chatted about growth — what growth in midlife means for us, how we plan (if we plan) for growth, and how our relationship with growth has changed over time. 

This isn't a how-to episode; really, it's two friends exploring the word growth. We hope that by sharing our thoughts with you, it’ll re-enforce your own growth goals, or give you a different perspective. Or maybe, if we're lucky, inspire you to forge ahead, jump into new waters, expand, and grow.

ABOUT MY GUEST
Yvonne Marchese is the host of the Late Bloomer Living Podcast and the founder of Midlife Uprising Community for women.  She is also the author of In Full Bloom: A Guide to Aging Playfully. She’s a professional photographer, mother, and wife.  At the age of 48, she realized that she’d bought into a story about getting old that was adversely affecting her health and relationships.  Yvonne believes that midlife is filled with possibility, that it’s never too late to pursue a dream, and that the stories we tell ourselves have tremendous power.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Planned versus unplanned growth
• Measurable growth versus growth that's not easily measurable
• Are we growing even if we're not paying attention or measuring our growth?
• How time and distance can help us recognize our personal growth
• What growth in 2023 looked like for Yvonne and Lou

FOOTNOTES

• In Full Bloom: A Guide To Aging Playfuly
• Yvonne Marchese's Late Bloomer Living Podcast
• Follow Yvonne Marchese on Instagram

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I'm excited to introduce a new format for this episode, "Dear Lou", where I'll be sharing questions from listeners or readers of Midlife Cues, as well as my responses. 

Our first 'Dear Lou' episode takes us into a story about the complexities of transitioning from a demanding career to retirement. I recently received an email from a listener about her sister, who recently retired and has started to become deeply involved in her grown children's lives, causing some family tension. In this episode, I'll share my response to "Concerned Sister" and my suggestions for how the family can address the underlying issue together. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

• Any transition, including retirement, can feel like a rollercoaster ride and bring up unresolved issues.
• Retirement can upend family dynamics, and it's important to discuss expectations and intentions within the family.
• Ambition and drive do not disappear upon retirement. It just shows up differently and will need to be channeled into meaningful and challenging activities.

FOOTNOTES

• 207. My Unplanned, Messy, and Chock-Full O'Lessons Retirement Story

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"An unexamined life is not worth living."  The famous quote has been attributed to Socrates, the person that many believe valued the pursuit of wisdom more than anyone else in history.

With this quote, Socrates implied that examining and understanding our lives is of utmost importance — essentially, for us to have the wisdom about ourselves and the life we choose to lead. Otherwise, we’re merely existing, acting in ways the reasons for which are unknown to us. And yet, to examine our lives is to turn the lens on ourselves. And it’s not easy to do in some respects. It’s far easier to look away and never truly examine. 

But to make the effort to continuously examine our lives has many benefits —  the best one being that we get to know ourselves really really well. And I think that’s the ultimate best thing in life: To get to the end of the road and know that I’ve done the best I could to know myself and to master myself and to try to live the way I’d be proud to have lived.

The easiest way to examine our lives, of course, is through journaling. And my guest in this episode, Merle Saferstein, is the best person to explore the practice of journaling. 

ABOUT MY GUEST
Merle R. Saferstein is an educator, speaker, author, and a pioneer in the field of legacy journaling. She has been journaling for 48 years and has amassed a collection of 380 journals, the majority of which are the basis for her legacy journal Living and Leaving My Legacy Vols. 1 & 2. After twenty-six years as a Holocaust educator where she worked with hundreds of Holocaust survivors helping them to leave their legacy, she retired and created Living and Leaving Your Legacy®. Through classes, workshops, and lectures, she has guided thousands of people in sacred legacy work, writing for wellness, and journaling. Her short story collection, Room 732, pays homage to the historic Hollywood Beach Hotel. Merle lives in Miami, Florida with her husband of fifty-six years and has two children and two grandchildren.

IN THIS EPISODE

• How journaling facilitates how we can live our legacy
• Journaling for ourselves versus journaling for others
• The many different purposes that journaling serves
• Why and how we can dispose of old journals
• Merle Saferstein's experience re-reading hundreds of her journals to create her books

FOOTNOTES

• Merle Saferstein's website
• Living and Leaving My Legacy (Volumes 1 and 2) by Merle Saferstein
• International Association for Journal Writing
• The Great Book of Journaling
• Randy Pausch's TED Talk 
• Episode 165 on Writing Our Memoirs

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"My entire profession changed drastically from one day to the other. And I started feeling like I didn't know where I fit anymore. I didn't know what I'm good at anymore."

Roberto Seif is a former innovation strategist who experienced forced retirement from his corporate career. Roberto's story is not uncommon in today's world, where companies frequently reorganize, cut positions, or even go under, often leaving employees without warning. This reality is particularly challenging as we get older, with the prospect of finding another job becoming increasingly difficult. This often necessitates a career pivot or complete reinvention to avoid retirement.

Roberto's story is a testament to resilience, adaptability, and the power of reinvention.

ABOUT MY GUEST
For over 20 years, Roberto Seif worked with top global corporations and consulting firms, including PwC, Unilever, Hyatt, and HDR, where he developed, launched, and managed multi-million dollar products and brands. Along the way, he reinvented his career nine times. At age 48, Roberto relaunched his career with a mission to help seasoned professionals reinvent the second half of their careers. As a Mid-Career Reinvention Coach, Roberto applies tools and principles from Design Thinking, Brand Strategy, and LEAN, to help his clients regain clarity, direction, and energy in their careers. He lives in Chicago with his wife and 2 daughters, ages 8 and 5.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Forced retirement and career reinvention
• The emotional transition of a career change
• The identity struggle following retirement (or leaving a successful career)
• Making a career change and playing to strengths in midlife

FOOTNOTES

• Connect with Roberto Seif on LinkedIn
• Roberto Seif's website
• Our Attention Needs Leading (Midlife Cues #65)
• Episode 198 with Stephanie Dethlefs
• Reinvention Insight Intensive

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In my younger years, I used to measure success based on external and quantifiable metrics. Job promotions, titles, salary, and material possessions were the yardsticks I used to gauge my achievements. However, as I've grown older and retired from my corporate career, my perspective on success has shifted.

In this episode, I discuss the six common examples of how our definition of success changes in retirement and as we get older. As you listen, I encourage you to reflect on how and in what ways your success definition has changed as well.

FOOTNOTES

• Episode 193: A Case Study in Personal Growth and Transformation with Vivek Chakrabortty

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If you ever thought that if you were set financially and money was no issue, you would retire immediately and just enjoy life, you might want to listen to this episode.

I had the pleasure of chatting with Luke Mathers, a two-time retiree and successful entrepreneur. Luke shares his experience of retiring at a young age, after selling his lucrative practice, and initially enjoying the freedom it afforded him. Despite being able to do whatever he wanted, Luke soon realized he was missing something in his life. He eventually returned to work and built a successful business before retiring again in 2020.

We discuss what drives happiness in retirement. We talk about the importance of finding purpose and passion in retirement, beyond financial security. And we explore the role of curiosity and experimentation to discover new interests.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Luke's realization that retirement wasn't as fulfilling as he imagined and his return to his profession
• Luke's second retirement in 2020 and the importance of finding passion and purpose
• The privilege of retirement and the opportunity to prioritize intrinsic rewards
• The importance of finding purpose and motivation in retirement
• The process of figuring out what to do next

ABOUT MY GUEST
Luke Mathers knows a thing or two about stress and is here to help us embrace life's challenges. As one of the original directors of Specsavers in Australia and was part of the biggest retail roll-out in Australia's history, the Specsavers team opened 100 stores in 100 days and transformed the industry. Luke is adamant that stress can be good for you, and he believes that high performers need to become stress teflon. He is here to show you how to make stress not stick. The author of three books, "Stress Teflon", "RESET", and "Curious Habits," Luke will help you get curious about how to thrive when the pressure is on.

FOOTNOTES

• Follow Luke Mathers on LinkedIn
• Luke Mathers' website
• From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks
• Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

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In this episode, we discuss the key themes and characteristics of modern retirement, as well as the changing attitudes towards work and purpose in midlife. We explore the desire to continue working after retirement, the need for additional income due to longevity, and the shift toward making a difference and leaving a legacy.

Friends of the pod and readers of Midlife Cues contributed to this conversation. They highlighted, among others, the importance of finding fulfilling work in retirement and the need for purpose and belonging.

I often say we are the voice of a generation, and we have an opportunity here to influence the narrative about what it takes to retire in the 21st century. Our experience of modern retirement is something our generation will have to define and map out. Previous retirement maps aren't as helpful anymore as we experience retirement in a different era with new requirements and opportunities. And the themes that we talked about today certainly inform our new map.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Themes of modern retirement
• Shift in motivations and ambitions toward making a difference and leaving a legacy
• The reality of longevity and its impact on retirement
• Work-life integration and exploration of different parts of oneself
• Influencing the narrative around retirement

ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS IN THIS EPISODE

• Mary Beth Simón on LinkedIn
• Paul Long on LinkedIn
• Bernie Borges on LinkedIn
• Kathy Bourque on LinkedIn
• Luke Mathers on LinkedIn
• Susan Bernstein on LinkedIn

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This week, we're wrapping up the special series on Modern Retirement. 

In previous episodes, we've talked about why reframing retirement is a necessary must-do. I've shared my messy retirement journey. And we've discussed the 7 skills we need to navigate retirement in the 21st century.

Today, I want to walk you through a framework that I've been working on. The Modern Retirement framework is not a rigid methodology but a loose guide that provides direction on what to consider and do while allowing for creative adaptation. It's the result of extensive research, including reading numerous articles and books, listening to relevant podcasts, and conducting interviews with individuals who have successfully navigated their retirement and those who are in the planning stages.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Why a framework is useful when planning for modern retirement
• How a framework works, and how it's different from a methodology
• The 5 disciplines in the framework
• The Modern Retiree Manifesto

FOOTNOTES

• Stanford Center on Longevity
• Ep 206 What Even Is Retirement Anymore?
• Ep 207 My Unplanned, Messy, and Chock-full O'Lessons Retirement Story
• Ep 208 Beyond Financials: The Skills We Need to Navigate Retirement in the 21st Century

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EPISODE SUMMARY

This is the third episode in our series on Modern Retirement in the 21st century.

The traditional idea of retirement as a life of rest and leisure is no longer appealing to many people, and slogans like "Never Retire" have gained popularity. In previous episodes, we've discussed why we need to reframe retirement and actively reshape its definition and expectations to make it work for us.   

In this episode, I introduce the seven essential skills for navigating retirement successfully, including cultivating a positive mindset, embracing curiosity, mastering technology, managing time effectively, networking, and developing emotional intelligence.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Changing landscape of retirement in the 21st century
• Reframing retirement and reshaping its definition and expectations
• Importance of planning for retirement financially, skill-wise, and mindset-wise
• Seven essential skills for navigating retirement successfully

FOOTNOTES

• Episode 206: What Even is Retirement Anymore?
• The Skill it Takes to "Go Downhill"

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EPISODE SUMMARY
It's difficult to talk about the mess when you're in the middle of the mess.

This is the "true" story behind my retirement story - i.e., what happened when (and why) I left my corporate career. It's recorded with the benefit of hindsight, of course, and only with some distance that enabled some reflection and connecting of dots.

My personal experience is the reason why I'm so driven to talk about retirement and why I urge corporate folks to think holistic, and not focus only on financial readiness.

I'm sharing my story as part of the month-long series on Modern Retirement in the 21st Century, and also because there are lots of lessons learned!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why I really left the career I worked hard to build
• My initial plans and why they didn't work
• What finally helped clear the fog 

FOOTNOTES

Modern Retirement: Redefining the Experience for the 21st Century

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Subscribe to Midlife Cues, a weekly newsletter about intentional living and personal growth in midlife.

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