SECOND CLOCK™

We learn one lesson after another. Some we remember, some we will need to experience several times before we cannot forget.

We enter into conversations and leave so much unsaid. We create mysteries by assuming, half listening and we form opinions from these missed messages. Here are some ways out of the gray.

What do you get when you spend decades suppressing feelings and relying on logic and compassion to accept other's truth and beliefs... Not a lot.

Embracing my feelings would guide me back to me.

What if Having It All was not about having things at all? What if being Selfish but fair was the way?

I always thought that if I could understand someone's story then I could empathize with the reasons people do the things they do, or say the things they say. All this awareness would help me navigate them better, or so I thought. Then I realized a blindspot in my thinking. I would never know if someone could feel.

Growing up we adapt to fit in with your family, friends, in school and at work. For some, the cost of fitting in means abandoning parts of ourselves, so we can show up for others. As we move away from checking in our needs we assume the role of people pleasing.

I reflect on what it took to adapt into a people pleaser and now how to get out of being one.

People daydream about being free from the life as they know it, but what does that look like after marriage and having kids? Going from experiencing the conventional path to now what, can be complicated to figure out. Now that you are free from the birdcage, how different do you want to design your life, that is the complex question.

Little by little the distraction are no longer sought after, and as they fade away, it is just you. Here's to exploring parts of ourselves, in the quit.

When does a relationship end, is it a slow decline or an abrupt shift? For me it was neither. It came in an intuitive whisper and my acceptance that my former spouse had detached from me came in a simple gesture. Through a series of acceptances we could let go and focus on continuing being partners in parenting.

Reflecting on where you came from and where you are at puts things into perspective.