Jean-Marc Dewaele is one of the world's leading researchers on language and emotion, and Emeritus Professor of Applied Linguistics and Multilingualism at Birkbeck, University of London. We talk about emotional resonance, foreign language anxiety, accents and belonging, raising a trilingual child, the language of the heart, swearing, and language in the therapy room.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction

01:14 L1, LX and emotional resonance: the key terms

03:09 Why our first language feels richer

04:02 Talking about trauma in another language

06:06 Refugees, Room to Heal, and rebuilding an identity in English

08:42 Do we feel different in a different language?

10:27 What is foreign language anxiety?

13:48 His advice: speak up

17:35 Personality across languages: presenting in French as a British academic

20:02 Raising a trilingual daughter

24:04 The language of the heart

25:55 Empathy, what is left unsaid, and British politeness

28:59 Swearing versus "I love you"

38:54 Working with interpreters, and what therapy taught him about teaching

43:03 Inviting a client's other languages into the room

44:28 "Other languages are not a threat"

45:57 Where to start with his work

46:49 Outro

SOURCES MENTIONED

00:35 

Dewaele, J.-M. (2010). Emotions in Multiple Languages. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.

04:21 

Costa, B., & Dewaele, J.-M. (2012). Psychotherapy across languages: Beliefs, attitudes and practices of monolingual and multilingual therapists with their multilingual patients. Language and Psychoanalysis, 1, 18–40. (Winner of the 2013 BACP Equality and Diversity Research Award.)

Costa, B., & Dewaele, J.-M. (2019). The talking cure – building the core skills and the confidence of counsellors and psychotherapists to work effectively with multilingual patients through training and supervision. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research, 19(3), 231–240. doi.org/10.1002/capr.12187

06:29 

Cook, S. R., & Dewaele, J.-M. (2022). "The English language enables me to visit my pain": Exploring experiences of using a later-learned language in the healing journey of survivors of sexuality persecution. International Journal of Bilingualism, 26(2), 125–139. doi.org/10.1177/13670069211033032

09:31 

Dewaele, J.-M. (2016). Why do so many bi- and multilinguals feel different when switching languages? International Journal of Multilingualism, 13(1), 92–105. doi.org/10.1080/14790718.2015.1040406

22:51 

Dewaele, J.-M. (2000). Trilingual first language acquisition: Exploration of a linguistic "miracle". La Chouette, 31, 41–45.

Dewaele, J.-M. (2007). Still trilingual at ten: Livia's multilingual journey. Multilingual Living Magazine, March/April, 68–71.

24:25 

Dewaele, J.-M., & Salomidou, L. (2017). Loving a partner in a foreign language. Journal of Pragmatics, 108, 116–130. doi.org/10.1016/j.pragma.2016.12.009

26:41 

Grice, H. P. (1975). Logic and conversation. In P. Cole & J. L. Morgan (Eds.), Syntax and Semantics, Vol. 3: Speech Acts (pp. 41–58). New York: Academic Press.

29:05 

Dewaele, J.-M. (2004). The emotional force of swearwords and taboo words in the speech of multilinguals. Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development, 25(2–3), 204–222. doi.org/10.1080/01434630408666529

Dewaele, J.-M. (2008). The emotional weight of I love you in multilinguals' languages. Journal of Pragmatics, 40(10), 1753–1780. doi.org/10.1016/j.pragma.2008.03.002

31:20 

Dewaele, J.-M., & Pavlenko, A. (2001–2003). Web questionnaire: Bilingualism and Emotions. University of London.

37:09  What multilingual clients say about language in therapy

Rolland, L., Dewaele, J.-M., & Costa, B. (2017). Multilingualism and psychotherapy: Exploring multilingual clients' experiences of language practices in psychotherapy. International Journal of Multilingualism, 14(1), 69–85. doi.org/10.1080/14790718.2017.1259009

38:56 

Costa, B., & Dewaele, J.-M. (2020). How to prepare psychotherapists for interpreter-mediated therapy. The Linguist, 59(5), 16–17.

In this fourth episode of Second Start, I sit down with Dr Reenee Singh, one of the leading international voices on intercultural couples and systemic psychotherapy. 

The conversation touches me personally: I come from an intercultural couple, and I now live in one. But the themes we explore go far beyond individual stories. Reenee reminds us that intercultural relationships shouldn't be pathologised: when partners learn to talk about their differences openly, cultural differences can become one of the deepest sources of strength and resilience in a couple.

Over the course of the conversation, we explore what actually makes a relationship "intercultural" (much broader than most people assume - it includes religion, class, region, and even generation), how class and language weave into cultural difference, how the meaning of home can shift across generations, and what happens in the therapy room when partners feel their worlds don't quite meet.

Dr Reenee Singh also shares some of the visual and clinical tools she uses in her practice: the cultural genogram, the culturegram, and emotion maps. 

A note on the clinical stories in this episode: they are anonymised, and where possible, Dr Reenee Singh obtained permission from the couples she refers to.

About Dr Reenee Singh

Dr Reenee Singh is a UKCP-registered Consultant Family and Couples Systemic Psychotherapist with over thirty years of clinical experience. She is based at Hampstead Psychology in North London and at the Child and Family Practice in London, where she is the Founding Director of the London Intercultural Couples Centre. She is a former Editor of the Journal of Family Therapy and was the first CEO of the Association of Family Therapy and Systemic Practice. She is the author or editor of several books on intercultural couples, race, culture, and systemic practice, and teaches all around the world.

Find her website here: https://www.reeneesingh.com/

More info on Dr Reenee Singh's Fall 2026 course at the Ackerman Family Institute:

Title: Therapeutic Tools for Cultivating Resilience with Contemporary Couples and Families

When: Sept 17 – Dec 3, 2026 | 1–4 PM ET

Course page: https://www.ackerman.org/training/seminar-course-singh/

Course introduction video: https://youtu.be/Yu1GiggcRok

Reenee will be teaching a number of the tools and techniques we discuss in this episode, including the culturegram.

Tools mentioned in this episode

Culturegram (excerpt): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbjTSmlfx1Q&t=574s

Emotion Maps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYfvrPErRSU&t=302s

The Intercultural Exeter Model YouTube channel - more videos exploring the concepts we discuss, with examples in context: https://www.youtube.com/@interculturalexetermodel7905

A solo episode exploring psilocybin through two different bodies of research: Michael Pollan's How to Change Your Mind (2018), which gathers a wide range of what was known at the time about psychedelic-assisted therapy, and a 2023 study by Jules Evans and colleagues on something the trials don't usually cover, namely the difficulties some people report after psychedelic use, sometimes long after the drug itself has worn off. Rather than trying to settle the tension between these two accounts, the episode takes the time to look at what each is, what it can and cannot tell us, and what remains to be figured out.

Support : if you need to talk, the Samaritans are free 24/7 on 116 123 (UK), or email [email protected] - You can also text SHOUT to 85258. Outside the UK : findahelpline.com.

Sources:

• Pollan, M. (2018). How to Change Your Mind. Penguin. https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/303866/how-to-change-your-mind-by-pollan-michael/9780141985138

• Evans, J., Robinson, O. C., et al. (2023). "Extended difficulties following the use of psychedelic drugs: A mixed methods study." PLOS ONE, 18(10): e0293349. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0293349

• Lyons, T., Carhart-Harris, R. L., et al. (2026). "Human brain changes after first psilocybin use." Nature Communications, 17: 3977. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-026-71962-3

• Davis, A. K., et al. (2025). "Five-year outcomes of psilocybin-assisted therapy for Major Depressive Disorder." Journal of Psychedelic Studies. https://doi.org/10.1556/2054.2025.00461

• Ellis, R. J., et al. (2025). "Long-term outcomes of single-dose psilocybin for US military Veterans with severe TRD: 12-month data." Journal of Affective Disorders. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032725010973

A related Instagram post, on the comparison between brain scans of experienced meditators and people on psilocybin (relevant to the brain section starting at 5:10): https://instagram.com/p/DYDCTnWlzWq/?img_index=1

One clarification on the recent brain study: The authors describe the dramatic acute brain changes as "largely absent" one month after the dose, but with one exception. A measure called "brain network modularity" did persist, and the people in whom this change was strongest also saw the biggest well-being increase. So the kind of cross-network communication Pollan describes does seem to persist, in this one specific form, at the one-month mark.

Second Start is the podcast that welcomes stories of change and the science of starting again. secondstartpodcast.com.

In this first solo episode, I talk about a book: Perfect Pain / Perfect Shame: A Journey into Radical Presence, by the psychologist Jerry Duvinsky.

Drawing on the book, I am talking about what shame really is, how it seeds itself in childhood, through what is said and through what is not said and done. And the paradox, which is that trying to control or eliminate shame reinforces it.

Along the way, the work of neuropsychologist Allan Schore on how shame is physiologically imprinted in early attachment, the cumulative weight of small messages over a lifetime, and the surprising forms shame can take in adulthood.

📖 Book referenced:

• Perfect Pain / Perfect Shame: A Journey into Radical Presence, Jerry Duvinsky, PhD (2017, self-published)

Amy went through addiction, an abusive relationship, and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, hearing voices in Cantonese telling her to end her life. After waking from a coma, she decided to live differently. A leaflet for Reiki in a mental health clinic opened a door. The work that followed, daily meditation, therapy, and discipline, that's what built the change.

Today, Amy is a certified mindfulness teacher in London, helping others find the peace she fought so hard to find herself.

📖 Books & references mentioned:

• "The Body Keeps the Score" — Bessel van der Kolk

• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) — a programme created by Jon Kabat-Zinn

• Loving-kindness meditation (mettā)

🧘 About Amy: Amy is a mindfulness teacher based in Islington, London. She trained with the Mindfulness Association (UK) and teaches free 8-week mindfulness courses through The Stress Project, a wellbeing charity run by the Holloway Neighbourhood Group. She also offers private and corporate sessions.

🌐 The Stress Project: https://www.stressproject.org.uk/mindfulness.html

📩 Contact Amy: [email protected]

A new podcast about the courage to change your mind.

Second Start is where personal stories of courage meet expert perspectives from psychology, health, and beyond.

Every episode is a real conversation, filmed in person in London, about what it really takes to understand ourselves and others, ask better questions, and start again.

New episodes coming soon.