SecondWind with Joyce

Co-Parenting & Recognizing Your Strength

Grieving the loss of a marriage is a unique type of pain that can be amplified when there are children involved. This week on SecondWind, licensed therapist and divorce coach Jill Barnett Kaufman touches on some of the hardest parts of going through this process such as financial strain, emotional turmoil, and adjusting to co-parenting. Instead of focusing on the past, she offers helpful solutions on how to move forward with this new phase of your life.

Jill Barnett Kaufman is a Divorce Coach, Licensed Therapist, Author & Co-parenting Expert. After she went through her own difficult divorce in 2012, she made it her life's mission to help others not have it so tough. Single parenting with a difficult ex wasn't easy, but she eventually got to a great place in her life and learned so much about the process. Jill has put all that she learned into her book, I'm Getting Divorced, Now What? and the book is the basis for her group coaching program, Thriving Through Divorce. Jill's extensive experience enables her to help her clients and creative solutions to the complex financial and parenting issues in divorce. Her 3 adult children are doing well, and she lives part time in Colorado and part time in New Jersey where she skis, snowshoes, golfs, hikes and bikes. Jill is excited to be getting married in August.

"Once you decide you're getting a divorce, you no longer are in the same relationship with your ex. If you have children you're co parents and you don't have the same expectations..." Jill Barnett Kaufman

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• The most difficult thing about entering a divorce
• The affect the pandemic had on divorce
• Healthy ways to process your emotions during a divorce
• How Jill has changed from the beginning of her marriage to after her divorce
• Realizing that your partner is not always the only reason for your divorce
• Some of the mistakes people make when going through a divorce
• How you should view co-parenting with your ex-spouse

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

Business Strategies & Knowing Your Worth

Starting a new business can be an exciting yet terrifying decision to make. Our guests for this episode of SecondWind, Deirdre Harter and Carmen Reed-Gilkison, make it their goal to help alleviate the fear that comes with this new career path. Their focus is helping you build a solid foundational business strategy that is rooted in your values. We discuss how women are taught to put ourselves last, and how that presents itself in how we charge for our services.

Carmen Reed-Gilkison, Whole Person Certified Coach, and Deirdre Harter, CPA, and Business Strategy Coach are the Co-Founders of Encore Empire.

We help new and established female entrepreneurs over 40 increase bottom line profits in their online business consistently and holistically by leveraging their past experience, honoring their values, and becoming financially savvy.

With decades of combined entrepreneurial experience, we understand all aspects of business-building in the online marketplace. By combining our two areas of expertise we've created a uniquely holistic approach to launching and growing businesses for women over 40.

Women relate and interact differently at this age than their younger counterparts, and definitely different than men. We believe in relationship-marketing and that's where women over 40 excel. The majority of our activities take place inside our free Facebook Group: Empire of Unstoppable Midlife Women Building Profitable Businesses. You are cordially invited to join us for free weekly training, monthly networking events, bi-weekly business promotion posts, and more!

We offer a holistic 6-month launchpad program for new entrepreneurs and 12-month next-level profits coaching program focusing on business strategy, systems to scale through the lens of finance and leadership.

"The women who are drawn to us are women who are action takers. They realize that they have decades of life experience that is valuable, and they have a dream that they want to bring out to the world." Carmen Reed-Gilkison

"We tend to work a lot with heart centered entrepreneurs...We are doing this in a holistic manner." Deirdre Harter

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• How Covid-19 forced business owners to make major changes with the services they provide.
• How adopting a feminine way of doing business can be beneficial
• Why their clients are often uncomfortable with discussing compensation for their work, and how they can avoid feeling this way
• The power your mindset has in your entrepreneurial journey
• When you get to midlife you begin to look at things from a different perspective and think about your legacy
• Being okay with your entrepreneurial journey not being linear
• Important things to know about building a business based on your values

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

You Don't Have to Stay Stuck in The Present

Finding the strength to change your life can feel like an impossible task. This week we have certified life coach Jennifer Crowley on to discuss how we can change our mindset from accepting our life's shortcomings, to acknowledging our own power to create a new story. Jennifer takes us on her journey from evaluating her life, to realizing that she needed to take a new direction.

As a Certified Life Coach and founder of Changeable Coaching, Jennifer Crowley works primarily with women looking to make impactful changes in themselves and in their lives. She's also a leadership consultant, working with entrepreneurs to help them strengthen their management skills and develop healthy cultures of success.

Prior to her professional life as a coach and consultant, she made the decision to leave behind a successful 20-year career in the wine business to follow her calling and share her path to change and fulfillment.

Jennifer's mission is to help women summon their strength and create plans to bravely make changes and live the lives they want. As a former executive and divorced mother, she understands the struggle of juggling roles and living with other people's expectations. In light of her experiences, her goal is to empower women to make changes that align with their wants and needs and help them transition themselves into more integrated, joy-filled lives.

She has chosen to share her story and the life-altering practices she discovered on her journey to inspire other women to action and help them prepare themselves and gather the support they need to be more fearless in the face of change.

Jennifer grew up just outside of Chicago and majored in microbiology at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. She worked in iconic downtown Chicago bars and restaurants in her twenties, and then found her way to the wine business. She now happily lives in Chicago with her son, Liam, and their dog, Buck.

"My heart is really with women and helping women. I don't want another woman to stay stuck the way that I did for so long..." Jennifer Crowley

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• The role Jennifer's career played in sparking a transition in her life
• How Jennifer discovered her passion for helping others
• The difference in the way that men and women tend to express or deal with their pain
• How being a woman in a male dominated work environment can alter your personality traits
• How Jennifer was able to realize that she was living with anxiety
• Why connection to your support system is essential to your wellbeing, especially during quarantine
• How to distinguish stress from anxiety

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy

Moving From Pain Points to Peace

We all grieve in different ways, but for many of us it can become a self-consuming struggle that we feel we can't escape. Our guest Debra Hester is on this week to help us learn how to build resilience while experiencing grief. We discuss what has put her on this path to help people at their lowest point, and the approach she takes to get them to a more peaceful state of mind.

Debra Hester is a creative social entrepreneur who advocates building resilience and breaking the silent struggle with grief and loss. She is the award-winning author of My Backyard Garden, A Memoir of How Love Conquers Grief.

As founder and CEO of MB Enterprises, Debra leads a talent development organization with a motto of "Inspire, Inform, Transform, that's what we do! She offers a MOVE Mapping™ workshop experience to address the limited amount of ongoing support, resources, and structures for people struggling with traumatic change.

This transformative MOVE Mapping™ approach applies growth mindset techniques to move participants from pain points to peace. Her My Backyard Garden book series also includes a 2021 release, Look Up Mississippi, A Photo Memoir. Debra creates and produces videos, podcasts and uses social media channels as the foundation for bringing awareness to looking and moving beyond traumatic change and events to #empathyforgrief and loss for self and others.

With over 25 years' experience as a creative, innovative, learning, leadership development and SHRM senior certified HR leader in large, global organizations, she brings a broad base of practical, people, organizational development skills, and experience. Debra has a passion for the art and science of personal transformation. She is known for participating in, developing, and leading professional and leadership development experiences which drive increased team engagement and performance.

Debra is a skilled writer, facilitator, and visualist who uses communication, marketing, and digital strategies to drive awareness to adoption for her clients' organizational change initiatives. Debra spent K-12 in Arkansas and graduated from Oklahoma State University in Broadcast Journalism and received her MA in HR Management from Ottawa University. She is currently pursuing an MBA from Mississippi State. She has a weakness for coffee and dark chocolate and finds peace in modern country living in Northern Mississippi.

"There are a lot of things that are strong. We have trees and buildings but there are certain forces that they can't withstand. I don't care how strong they are. So it doesn't mean that you're weak or strong … because you know yourself it allows you to be resilient." Debra Hester

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• The special connection Debra had with her mother and how that played a role in finding her passion
• How Covid-19 has broadened her audience
• How we should view and deal with anger while grieving
• Why Debra chooses to focus on emotions rather than stages of grief
• The problem with using the word "strong" to describe people going through a difficult time.
• What MOVE Mapping stands for, and how you can implement this into your own life
• Debra's goal of identifying your specific pain points and helping you move to peace and productivity

Offer: Discounted autographed ebook with a special promo code from Debra's first podcast - Get free access here

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy

Surviving PTSD & The 2020 Journey

Years of dealing with traumatic experiences can take a toll on your mental health. This week on SecondWind, Janet Wiszowaty gives us her insight on PTSD, life through the pandemic, and living in the Canadian Arctic territory of Nunavut. With this discussion we not only get a picture of the cause & diagnosis of PTSD, but also what life can be like living with it.

Janet is an expert in overcoming life's challenges and has transformed that into helping others do the same. She is an author, speaker, trainer and cheerleader for her clients. Janet has honed her skill while working with emergency police services, through trauma, change, and crisis management, into a practice that is second to none in terms of results achieved with individuals and groups. Janet has and continues to work closely with her clients to develop tools that work for them to move forward and thrive. This work has brought significant results to both individuals and business teams. The tools and the overall effectiveness that Janet has developed and fine-tuned over the years has and continues to provide life-altering results to those when they are at their most vulnerable, their Now What. If you are searching to live a healthier, wealthier, happier and more productive, life, reach out to Janet to explore your next step. Janet has trained with the best and is a Canfield Certified Trainer, Dream Coach plus Master NLP, Time-Line Therapy™ , and Hypnotherapist. She says Your Success is Her Success. To connect directly with Janet, call 780 983 0840 or email Janet directly at [email protected]

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• How our understanding of PTSD has changed throughout the years
• What accumulative PTSD is, and how it has impacted Janet Wiszowaty's life
• The correlation between keeping busy and burying your trauma
• The steps that Janet has taken to help deal with her trauma
• Why she pushed herself to travel, learn, and be driven.
• What it is like to live in an arctic region
• The types of issues the pandemic has created or worsened in the home

"It's hard to slow down, you just want to keep going... I'm alive so I better keep moving." Janet Wiszowaty

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

Knowing Your Values & Community

We are constantly changing and facing new challenges that force us to reevaluate who we are, and what we want. For those of us who value in person human interaction, it has been a very difficult year due to the pandemic and social distancing. On today's episode of SecondWind, we'll be discussing our evolving values, self love, and the complexities of socializing in today's day and age.

"You need to connect with love, and the love starts with you. Self love." Joyce Buford

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• What we need to be aware of while going through a difficult life change
• Why we need to find a community that fits who we are now
• How Covid-19 has expanded the way we use the internet
• The role our family plays in our self esteem
• How isolation affects the way we grieve
• Why we should change our mindset from blaming others to accepting responsibility
• The journey to loving yourself and finding your values

Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

Finding Enjoyment in the Next Stage of Life

As women age, we're often pushed aside and forgotten about as if our value diminishes with time. Our guest for this week's episode, Valerie Albarda, has made it her mission to remind aging women of our worth, and make sure we are seen and heard in a society that dismisses us. She talks about how the different aspects of our identity, namely race, age, and gender, can play a role in what she calls the "invisible woman syndrome".

Valerie Albarda likes to think of herself as a midlife women's advocate. She tries to inspire women to embrace this time in life, and to squash the notion that just because we're midlife, it doesn't mean we have to be in crisis. She was recently diagnosed with secondary progressive multiple sclerosis, and that changed her world. Even with this, she didn't consider herself in crisis. Valerie began researching and reading about MS so that she can become an advocate and ally for those also dealing with the disease, especially midlife women. "I'll get even more granular: I advocate for midlife women of color who have MS because the medical community often treats us as disposable people; collateral damage in the healthcare system. I don't like that."

Albarda is also a TEDx alumna. She recently completed her Talk in October 2020, and it started airing in February. "My talk, "The Invisibility Trifecta," tackles the invisible woman syndrome as it relates to women of color (hence, the Trifecta: midlife women of color). I grew up in Maryland with my parents and four sisters. I didn't go to college straight out of high school. At the age of 37 1/2, I was determined to get my degree. I completed an accelerated degree program in 2.5 years and walked across the stage to get my BS in Management 2 months shy of my 40th birthday."

Currently, by day she works as a senior writer for a large home improvement retailer. On her off hours, She devotes most of her time to her website, Midlife-A-Go-Go, her podcast, MS work and spending time with her family. She's a wanderlust at heart and she can't wait to embark on her next adventure.

"I do think that we need to embrace that notion that midlife does not mean that we are at the end of our life, and that there are so many wonderful things still left for us on the horizon." Valerie Albarda

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• Valerie's journey through her multiple sclerosis diagnosis
• How to enjoy midlife and skip the crisis
• Why women in their midlife stage tend to feel like a they're a "disposable demographic"
• Steps you can take to redefine who you are
• What the "invisible woman syndrome" is and how race can exacerbate this issue
• Why Valerie wants both midlife women and other demographics to hear her message
• What it is like to have health concerns be dismissed, and why you should always be your own biggest advocate

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

It's easy to forget about practicing self-care when your busy schedule prohibits you from adding much more to your to-do list. On today's episode of SecondWind, we have Hope Flansburg on to discuss everything relating to self-care from body positivity to work-life balance. She reminds us that making time for ourselves doesn't have to be such a time consuming task.

Hope is an author, Wellness and Self-Care Educator, and owner of Hope for Health Wellness. She plants seeds of hope by teaching others how stress impacts their emotional and physical health, while sharing complimentary layers of self-care to promote healing. She wants to help you decrease stress, anxiety, and improve overall health to live the quality of life you crave free from continued symptoms and deteriorating health.

Hope began writing sixteen years ago as part of her own healing process. She now uses her fiction romance novels to bring a voice to the exact scenarios that break us. Through stories of vulnerability, courage, and healing, these books can be used as a tool for social emotional awareness, and to inspire and empower others. With an exquisite mix of suspense, darkness, lightness, and personal growth, she sends the message that existing is reason enough to receive abundance in this life, and out of our darkest times can come our greatest achievements.

You hear all the time that it is really important to own our "no", but I think what's even more important is that we know what our "yeses" are. If we can define our yeses, it'll help us find that balance of where we're giving our time, where we're giving our energy, and so we don't get led to burn out and overwhelm all the time to where we feel that we aren't showing up and giving the love that the people around us deserve as well" - Hope Flansburg

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• What it was like becoming a single parent with twin girls
• How to turn your darkest times into something great
• Why you should start manifesting and create vision boards during tough life transitions
• How Hope incorporated her love of love, spirituality, and self-help into a novel
• Our society is impacted by the "disease of being busy" or stress and anxiety
• We tend to focus so much on loving others more than loving ourselves
• How Hope helps those who feel their busy schedule prevents them from practicing self care

Free Offer: Calm The Noise Webinar - Get free access here

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

Journey of Self-Expansion

At some point we may find ourselves becoming unsatisfied with some aspect of our lives. On today's episode, Natasha Scripture shares how she felt accomplished in her career, but struggled to find her ideal partner. What started out as a desire to ground herself has turned into a 9 month journey of self expansion far away from the hustle and bustle of New York City. She speaks on her culture's belief that you need to be married to be complete, and how she learned to feel whole on her own.

Natasha Scripture is an author, poet, health coach and former aid worker. As an emergency spokesperson for the United Nations, Natasha covered humanitarian crises around the world, including conflicts and natural disasters in Ethiopia, Haiti, Libya, and Pakistan. Before the UN, she worked as a writer, producer and editor for a variety of organizations, including the BBC, CNN, Al Jazeera English, TED, National Geographic and Condé Nast Publications. She has been interviewed by CNN, ABC News, BBC Radio, the Irish Examiner and Women's Health (Australia), among other news outlets, been published in the New York Times, The Telegraph, Marie Claire, Glamour UK, The Sydney Morning Herald, Huffington Post, The Boston Globe, the New York Post and The Atlantic, among other publications, and been featured in Marie Claire, The Washington Post, The Philadelphia Inquirer and The Sunday Times Style magazine.

What You'll Learn from This Episode:

• How reaching her mid-thirties changed Natasha Scripture's outlook on her life
• How being on a "Man Fast" can change your dating life & relationship with yourself
• The journey to self acceptance & realizing you are enough
• Why people tend to change after going through something difficult
• The healing effects of nature and a change of scenery
• Perfection can be boring and flaws can be endearing
• How incorporating daily practices of gratitude can lead to abundance

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Effortless Happiness: How to Find Your Voice and Finally Ask For What You Really Want Paperback or Kindle copy.

Once we learn to let go of certain expectations and appreciate life with all of the highs and lows it has to offer, we will then begin to feel more fulfilled with our own journeys. This week our guest Candy Leigh shares her own experiences with the highs and lows of working in a corporate setting, and how that played a role in her self image. She learned to appreciate the freedom that came with not having to report to someone for work, and used that to truly live a limitless life.