The psychedelic world has lots of stories of delusional & predatory spiritual leaders.

Perhaps I’m a bit naive, but I must admit:

This phenomenon confused me for a long time.

If psychedelic experiences were just goofy fantasies that routinely padded your own ego, then it would make total sense… but this was not my experience. My experience was that quote-unquote “getting high” would kick your ass as often as it would make you laugh.

Even weed was like this for me. The first time I truly smoked, I was immediately confronted with 2 of the most painful things in my life. These weren’t comforting delusions. They were frightening realities.

& facing them… sucked.

So for the longest time, I could understand having a psychological break on psychedelics, but I struggled to see how they could corrupt you.

How could dosing truth make you more egotistical?

This question brings us to Changuito’s story.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro

(02:43) A not easy childhood.

(03:55) The first LSD trip.

(05:46) “Terror, horror.”

(08:00) The little green man.

(10:44) The teacher

(13:52) The therapist.

(16:09) Fine ego traps.

(18:23) When you’re allowed to help.

(20:52) Closing thoughts.

Notes

Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down Changito’s analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with Changito, & he approved this flow.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “Binaural Sleep Vol. 3,” “Shadows In The Dark,” “Konfrontation (Romeos Erbe),” "Cinematic Desert 4," & “Iran Vol. 1” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

Other sounds: We used the tracks: “VINTAGE CAMERA SOUND by Jorgemaca -- https://freesound.org/s/773049/ -- License: Creative Commons 0.”

In part one of this story, psychedelics sent Tony tumbling down the rabbit hole.

First, he told us, they reunited him with his deceased brother.

Then they recovered memories of sexual abuse.

Now they revealed a tragic secret.

But Tony’s tale is far from over.

Buckle up.

This tunnel has a few more twists.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(03:08) Dealing with guilt.

(10:55) Mediumship?

(15:09) Telepathy?

(19:14) A strange experience in Jamaica.

(23:10) Final thoughts from Tony.

(27:27) Wrapping up loose ends.

Notes

Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down Tony’s analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with Tony, & he approved this flow.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “2. Epic (Restrained Power) [Cinematic Underscore Loops - The Core Collection],” “Supernatural - The Original,” & “Bar Performance 10: Solo Cello & Piano” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

Other sounds: We used the tracks: “rising AAAHh2 REV DEEP.wav by Leady -- https://freesound.org/s/26719/ -- License: Attribution 3.0,” “weird bell 2 (fractanimal metal-cylinder-hit remix).flac by arseniiv -- https://freesound.org/s/703236/ -- License: Creative Commons 0,” “Dark Tribal Drum and Atmo.wav by szegvari -- https://freesound.org/s/575536/ -- License: Creative Commons 0,” “Real heartbeat sound fastest by under_the_hood -- https://freesound.org/s/455440/ -- License: Creative Commons 0”

Tony couldn’t function after his brother’s suicide.

Growing up, they did everything together. They were best friends.

After spinning out for months, Tony stumbles onto psychedelics.

Desperate for relief, he takes the leap.

This is part 1 of the story of what he found.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(03:53) Losing a brother.

(07:17) MDMA trip 1

(16:13) MDMA trip 2

(22:11) Then it hit me…

Notes

Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down Tony’s analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with Tony, & he approved this flow.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “Stalker Heart of Chornobyl Atmosphere 7,” “7. Pastoral (Vast Peace) [Cinematic Underscore Loops - The Core Collection], “Sounds Of The Sea 4” “Beauty Of The Earth 1 - Sunrise” & “Sounds Of The Sea 6” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

Other sounds: We used the tracks: “ForestDay_BW.66.wav” by sonidosreales245 -- https://freesound.org/s/517042/ -- License: Creative Commons 0 & “Lightswitch being turned on/off from various distances” by a3poify -- https://freesound.org/s/372003/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Today we’re taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming. 

We won’t be exploring someone’s psychedelic therapy story, but we will be exploring something else: 

The future of this show.

In our first story, Jane has a terrifying trip the day after she had a [quote] “healing” moment on mushrooms. In our second, Lana faces her fear of psychedelics years after she thought LSD [quote] “broke” her brain. 

Can we trust psychedelics despite their risks? 

These stories explore that question. 

Chapters

(00:00) Intro. 

(02:49) Jane’s terrifying trip. 

(20:41) Lana faces her fear.  

Notes

Jane’s episode: ⁠Can Psychedelics Heal the Mother Wound? Part 2⁠

Lana’s episode: ⁠Why Did I Have a Bad Trip? ⁠

Edits: This episode is created using edited clips from original episodes. We’ve added music to the clips and made a few minor cuts.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “Loop Paket 0008,” “The Backrooms Music Vol. 23,” “Cinema Blockbuster Trailer 11,” “Halloween 2025 Vol. 8,” “Binaural Sleep Vol. 2,” “Cinematic Desert 2,”  &  “Podcast Music Vol. 25 [Evening Calm]” by ⁠Sascha Ende⁠. This music is free for commercial use under the ⁠CC BY 4.0 license⁠.

We re-enter Vaughn’s story as the course of his psychedelic therapy takes a turn.

For years, Vaughn’s experiences had taken him, he believes, into his family’s traumatic history. He met its villians & victims — many were both — & discovered he could free himself from their burdens by experiencing their experience.

This adventure, chronicled in part 1, went on for years.

But then things changed.

Psychedelics stopped taking him to his ancestors & started showing something else.

His childhood.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(02:55) Alone in the crib.

(07:41) Starting smoking at 50.

(10:50) Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.

(14:07) Forgiving dad.

(19:13) Inside the house.

(23:34) Why people choose to live.

Notes

Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down Vaugn’s analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with Vaughn, & he approved this flow.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “The Backrooms Music Vol. 20,” “Bar Performance 10: Solo Cello & Piano,” “Lost Place Atmospheres Vol. 2,” “Podcast Music Vol. 4 [Mystery Ambience],” “Dream Of A Dream 2,” “The Backrooms Music Vol. 6,” “Disturbing Sounds 2 [for your neighbors],” & “Halo Stream Music Vol. 10,” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

Today, we explore the complex power of psychedelics through 3 different stories.

In our first story, Jane [quote] “telepathically” communicates with her abusive mother on psilocybin.

In the second, Lev tries to address relationship issues with ayahuasca.

In the last, Trip takes MDMA as a last-ditch effort to prevent his own suicide.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(03:36) Jane’s psychedelic conversation.

(15:41) Lev hits eject on ayahuasca.

(26:08) Trip’s MDMA trip.

Notes

Jane’s episode: Can Psychedelics Heal the Mother Wound? Part 2

Lev’s episode: Who Says Ego Death Is Good for Me?

Trip’s episode: Can Psychedelics Help Me Love Myself?

Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down our guests’ analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with our guests during the original production of these edits, & they approved of the flow.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “Drones over New Jersey,” “7. Pastoral (Vast Peace) [Cinematic Underscore Loops - The Core Collection],” “African Desert,” “The Most Shocking Halloween Trailer 3,” & “Binaural Sleep Vol. 4,” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

When Vaughn was a kid, he always felt alone.

So when Vaughn became an adult, he tried to figure out why.

His 28-year search, which included practically every personal development course he could afford, eventually led him to psychedelic therapy.

In these mind-manifesting sessions, Vaughn says he found the origins of his loneliness in the past.

Not just his past.

But in the pasts of his ancestors.

Could these remarkable experiences help him heal his present?

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(04:20) What it felt like to be Vaughn.

(08:10) “Ancestral” trip 1.

(10:50) “Ancestral” trip 2.

(12:45) “Ancestral” trip 3.

(15:28) “Ancestral” trip 4.

(17:19) “Ancestral” trip 5.

(19:33) “Ancestral” trip 6.

(22:59) “Ancestral” trip 7.

(26:33) “Ancestral” trip 8.

(32:00) Next time on Secret Wilderness.

Notes

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “Gymnopedie,” “Dreamsphere 1,” “Adagio For Strings [kinda],” “Halloween 2025 Vol. 9,” “Lion Queen Soundtrack - The big meeting,” “Horror Tensions Vol. 1,” “Halo Stream Music Vol. 7,” & “Binaural Sleep Vol. 3,” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

After two years of MDMA, Ed was ready to give up on psychedelic therapy. He still couldn’t sleep, & his sessions seemed to keep repeating the same experience over & over.

A memory of sexual abuse he wasn’t even sure was real.

But before he quit, Ed tried ayahuasca, & it completely changed his understanding of what had been happening on MDMA.

Ayahuasca, he says, showed him that it wasn’t one experience on loop. It was a sequence of similar experiences.

To Ed, this was a breakthrough.

Maybe, if he kept going, he’d finally sleep again.

Maybe, he’d find peace.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(03:38) The first time Ed remembers having a flashback.

(05:30) Remembering his face.

(06:58) Asking questions.

(09:03) The most important memory.

(10:37) Psychedelic revenge.

(12:31) The gift with conditions.

(14:29) Letting go of the story.

(00:00) Intro.

Notes

First flashback: After our interview, Ed mentioned that he’s not sure what he described as the first flashback he ever had was the first time it happened or just the first time he remembers having one.

Edits: To focus this episode’s themes and narrative, we cut down Ed’s analysis, observations, narrativizations, & story. We also cut all of Alex’s questions & comments. Other edits are limited to dead space, audio blemishes, unnecessary words, & unessential content. We consulted with Ed, & he approved this flow.

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

We used the tracks “Cinematic Emotions 1 - Creepy,” “Lost Place Atmospheres Vol. 8,” “Halloween Atmosphere 2024,” & “Epic Intro 2018 Prequel,” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.

Ed couldn’t sleep.

It all started when his daughter nearly died on an escalator. The frayed attention started then too. So did the fits of rage.

As exhaustion & problems piled up, Ed’s life slowly spiraled out of control. Nothing he tried had worked. Nothing helped him sleep or made him less angry.

Finally, as a last-ditch effort, Ed tried psychedelic therapy.

But the experience didn’t cure his sleeplessness, it just handed him a mystery:

A recovered memory that might explain everything.

If… it was real.

Chapters

(00:00) Intro.

(03:03) The escalator.

(04:48) Fits of rage.

(07:51) Plotting the end.

(10:10) Recovering the memory.

(13:31) Was it real?

(15:27) Why is the memory repeating?

(17:42) Next time.

Notes

Theme song: Secret Wilderness’ theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Other music: We used the tracks “Lost Place Atmospheres 002,” “5 vor 12,” “Lost Place Atmospheres 001,” & “Shadows In The Dark,” by Sascha Ende. This music is free for commercial use under the CC BY 4.0 license.