There’s a particular kind of loneliness that comes from standing just outside the life you want.Not because you don’t care enough.Not because you’re lazy.Not because you aren’t capable.But because wanting something deeply can feel incredibly vulnerable.In this episode, I explore the emotional layers underneath perfectionism — not just the fear of failure, but the sadness, longing, uncertainty, and loneliness that can live underneath our “almosts.” The projects we keep restarting.The conversations we almost have.The dreams we almost move toward. The versions of ourselves we almost allow ourselves to become.I share my own experience of trying (and repeatedly failing) to record this episode while navigating grief, major life transitions, perfectionism, and the painful thought:“I can’t have what I want.”

We explore:

✨ Why perfectionism can become a form of emotional protection

✨ The connection between perfectionism and loneliness

✨ How “almost living” keeps us close to what we want without fully risking disappointment

✨ Why wanting something without guarantees can feel so painful

✨ The difference between authentic expression and turning our dreams into evidence of our worth

✨ A gentler, more compassionate way to approach the parts of ourselves that feel stuckThis episode is not about becoming fearless or perfectly confident.It’s about learning how to stay with yourself in the vulnerability of wanting something meaningful… and allowing one real, imperfect thing to exist anyway.If you’ve been circling something you care deeply about — a creative project, a relationship, a decision, a new chapter — I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone.

🎙️ See It Be It Podcast with Kirsten McKinnon - A place to come home to yourself. New episodes on self-awareness, emotional patterns, identity, relationships, embodiment, vulnerability, and becoming more fully yourself.

📱 Connect with me:Instagram / TikTok / Facebook: @seeitbeit.ca

YouTube: @seeitbeitcaLinkedIn: Kirsten McKinnon

Based on the transcript, this description especially aligns with the episode’s exploration of perfectionism as “the loneliness of almost living” and the emotional ache beneath self-protective patterns.

I thought I was being self-aware. I wasn’t.If you’ve ever thought you were being self-aware… but later realized you weren’t, this episode shows what can happen — and what it can cost.In this episode of See It Be It with Kirsten McKinnon, I share a personal experience where I believed I was staying with myself… but was actually staying with a story I hadn’t checked.What unfolded was subtle — and easy to miss:a shift from grounded clarity → into assumption,from connection → into uncertainty,from self-trust → into overthinking.And it cost me three days I can’t get back.This isn’t about getting it “right.”It’s about recognizing the moment where self-awareness quietly turns into self-abandonment — and what it takes to come back.If you’ve ever:- questioned a relationship without checking your assumptions,- talked yourself out of what you initially knew,- or looked outside yourself for clarity when something felt off,this episode will help you see where that shift happens — and how to catch it sooner.🗓 Free Workshop: Stop Abandoning Yourself — A Live Workshop on Self-LeadershipLearn how to interrupt self-abandonment patterns in real time and begin staying with yourself in the moments that matter.📅 April 23🕛 12:00–1:30 PM ET💻 Live on Zoom (replay provided)👉 https://www.seeitbeit.ca/free-workshop🔍 WHAT YOU’LL SEE IN THIS EPISODE- How self-awareness can subtly turn into assumption- The difference between staying with a feeling vs. staying with a story- What happens when you seek support while already ungrounded- How outside input can amplify a narrative instead of clarify it- What it looks like to return to your own knowing🎧 ABOUT THE PODCASTSee It Be It is a space for courageous clarity and embodied experimentation — where you don’t just imagine a different life, you practice creating it while becoming more yourself.

If you’ve ever ignored what you feel, second-guessed yourself, or struggled to trust your instincts, this episode shows what’s actually happening — and how change begins.In this episode of See It Be It with Kirsten McKinnon, you’ll hear a real coaching conversation where someone stops overriding what they feel and stays with their experience instead.What unfolds is a powerful shift:from tension to calm,from disconnection to self-trust,from avoidance to safety.This isn’t about thinking your way into clarity.It’s about what happens when your body finally feels safe enough to stay.If you’ve ever:said 'yes' when you meant 'no,'ignored a feeling that later turned out to matter,or felt disconnected from yourself in relationships or decisions,this episode will show you what it looks like to do something different.🗓 Free Workshop: Stop Abandoning Yourself — A Live Workshop on Self-Leadership Learn how to interrupt self-abandonment patterns in real time and begin staying with yourself in the moments that matter.📅 April 23 🕛 12:00–1:30 PM ET 💻 Live on Zoom (replay provided)👉 https://www.seeitbeit.ca/free-workshop 🔍 WHAT YOU’LL SEE IN THIS EPISODE1) What it looks like to ignore what you feel in real time2) How the body signals disconnection before the mind recognizes it3) What happens when you stay with a feeling instead of overriding it4) How a sense of internal safety can begin to emerge5) How self-trust starts to build through experience🎧 ABOUT THE PODCASTSee It Be It is a space for courageous clarity and embodied experimentation — where you don’t just imagine a different life, you practice creating it while becoming more yourself.

Host Kirsten McKinnon reflects on love, fear, and vulnerability, suggesting Valentine’s Day could be renamed “Vulnerability Day” and sharing her belief that meaningful connection requires authentic presence in relationships. She discusses how fear of rejection, loss, and being alone can lead people to avoid hard conversations, compromise past their limits, or lose themselves by dampening their truth to keep a relationship stable. Drawing on her long-standing interest in relationship dynamics, a four-page list she wrote in her twenties about what she wanted in a partner, and her own experience of divorce, she invites listeners to reconnect with what they truly want and to notice the fine line between compromising and settling. Kirsten explains how the physiological intensity of falling in love can resemble anxiety, creating a paradox of excitement and “gleeful terror,” and argues that early relationships are an opportunity to build a foundation of openness by being real rather than presenting an “avatar.” She shares a personal example of preparing a difficult text, noticing fear in her body (clenched fists, tight jaw and chest), and using a process of slowing down, scanning sensations, and inquiring into what fear is protecting against—linking it to past experiences—so she could speak honestly; the message was received with gratitude. She contrasts protective “boxing guard” behavior with the discomfort of openness (including heart-opening yoga), references Brené Brown’s idea that capacity to love others reflects capacity to love oneself, and mentions Taylor Swift’s “The Archer” as inspiration about self-protection and fear of being hurt. The episode closes with practical prompts to notice body cues, ask “What am I afraid of?”, reassure oneself about capacity to handle outcomes, and take a step toward love rather than protection.

The Fear of Being Seen - Breaking the Seal

In this first episode, I’m doing something that has felt terrifying for a long time—letting myself be seen.

Not just in obvious ways, but in the subtle moments where we edit ourselves, hold back, or try to appear more confident than we feel.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

• waiting for a text instead of reaching out
• saying less than you wanted to
• appearing “fine” while feeling disconnected

this episode will feel familiar.

I explore how self-abandonment often shows up as protection—shaped by past hurts, small moments of rejection, and the ways we’ve learned to keep ourselves safe.

I also share a personal story about being told I came across with “bravado,” and how I came to see that as armour rather than confidence.

This is the beginning of choosing connection over perfection—and an invitation to see yourself more clearly, and practice showing up as you are.

Welcome to See It Be It — Come Home to Yourself & Practice Who You’re Becoming

This episode introduces the See It Be It with Kirsten McKinnon —a supportive space for people who feel disconnected from themselves or unsure what they want.

It invites you to slow down, see your current reality more clearly, and reconnect with what’s true for you.

This podcast is about bringing a different future into the present by trying on new ways of being—practicing the mindsets, skills, and behaviours that help you live in alignment with yourself.

You’ll explore tools and ideas from psychology, neuroscience, storytelling, and embodiment—blending reflection, humour, safety, and courage.

If you’re ready to understand yourself more deeply and start making more intentional choices, you’re in the right place.