Can Confidence be Programmed?

Self Talk with Ken-ken Somera Podcast

Episode #15

We talked about how confidence is a state you can enter, interrupt, and rebuild. Kapag naintindihan mo kung paano gumagalaw ang focus mo, memories mo, at internal dialogue mo, mas nagiging madali na mag-shift from kaba to clarity.

I explained that this is more of my approach with NLP and why "Confidence on Command works by using awareness, memory, and repetition. Kapag marunong kang mag-access ng strong states from your past or even imagined futures, your subconscious starts responding differently.

Napag-usapan din namin kung bakit practice matters and how the subconscious learns through association and repetition. The more you practice entering a confident state, the more natural it becomes. Over time, your mind stops asking “kaya ko ba?” and starts moving straight into system and action.

This episode is for anyone who wants to understand confidence beyond surface behavior, and start working with how the mind actually processes pressure, focus, and performance.

If you’re curious how confidence can be programmed, trained, and activated from the inside out, this episode will help you see it in a deeper, more practical way.

Most people don’t even question this, pero dapat ikaw ang master ng utak mo, hindi baliktad.

Welcome to episode #14.

Kasama ko ulit si George Ramos, at pinag-usapan namin kung paano gumagana ang self-talk, lalo na yung negative self-talk, at kung bakit hindi sapat ang “positive thinking” para ma-manage ang isip mo.

Mas naging focused yung usapan namin sa awareness.

Kasi kung hindi mo alam kung ano ang nangyayari sa loob, automatic kang sumusunod sa thoughts mo.

Nag-open din ako ng personal reflections dito.

* About getting older.

* Missing certain versions of myself.

* And realizing na yung mga ginusto kong mga past versions of myself ay hindi naman nawala at maaaring mga states na kayang ma access through NLP anchors.

* malaking part ang awareness

Because when you become aware,

you gain choice.

And better choices change everything.

Mindset, Self-Talk, and the Invisible Programming Running Your Life

(Self Talk with Ken-ken Somera Episode #12)

"Kung Paulit-ulit Mong Sinasabi sa Sarili Mo na Hindi Mo Kaya,

Wag ka ng magtaka kung hindi mo kaya."

Derechuhan lang~

Yung mga bagay na hindi mo tinuloy…

Yung mga pagkakataong umatras ka…

Yung mga pangarap na “mamaya na lang”…

bat kaya hindi natutuloy?

ano yung mga tumatakbo sa isip mo kung bakit hindi mo nagawan ng action?

pagod ka na ba matalo sa boses sa loob ng ulo mo?

Sa Episode 12 ng Self:Talk,

hindi motivation to.

Hindi din about positive thinking.

lalong hindi ito sa pag-comfort o pag baby ng emotions.

Pinag-usapan namin kung paano ka nade-dehado ng sarili mong isip — at paano mo ito babawiin.

Enjoy~

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🧠 Ano Talaga ang Episode na ’To?

Hindi ito tungkol sa “sabihin mo lang na kaya mo.”

Hindi rin ito tungkol sa “isipin mo lang ang positive.”

Ito ay tungkol sa:

paano nabubuo ang self-talk

bakit ito paulit-ulit

at bakit, kung hindi ka aware, ito ang tahimik na nagdedesisyon para sa’yo

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🔥 Ayan may Timestamps

⏱️ 01:22

“Hindi ito tungkol sa positive self-talk.

It’s about changing the narrative and gaining control.”

Kasi kahit gaano ka ka-positive,

kung hindi ikaw ang may hawak ng narrative luge ka.

⏱️ 02:55 – 03:53

“Most self-talk is neutral.

kung titingnan mo, yung mga Emotion na nakaconnect dito ang nagpapabigat.”

Hindi salita ang problema.

Yung emosyon na idinikit mo doon ang problema.

⏱️ 04:48 – 05:57

Basketball example.

“Possible na hindi ko pa kaya ngayon.

Pero kung itutuloy ko to, gagaling ako.”

Isang linya lang ang binago.

Pero ang epekto?

Quitter vs. learner.

⏱️ 06:22 – 07:29

“Hindi ka bano.

Hindi pa lang ayos ang form, ang system, ang programming.”

Ito ang gusto kong maintindihan mo:

Minsan hindi ikaw ang may problema.

Hindi pa lang handa ang vessel.

⏱️ 08:48 – 09:16

“You choose what influences you.

That’s how you gain your power back.”

Kung araw-araw mong hinahayaan na mali ang impluwensya sa’yo,

huwag mong isisi sa mundo kung bakit ka stuck.

⏱️ 11:36 – 14:07

Music. Media. Content.

“Ayokong sabihin negative.

Mas tama: not useful.”

Paulit-ulit mong pinapapasok sa isip mo ang hindi nakakatulong,

tapos nagtataka ka bakit mabigat ang loob mo?

⏱️ 15:11 – 16:20

Ito ang buod ng episode:

“Awareness leads to control.”

“Before it becomes an emotion, it’s a thought.”

Hindi ka helpless.

Hindi ka powerless.

Hindi mo lang pinapansin ang pinanggagalingan.

🧠 Ito ang Gusto Kong Maiwan Sa’yo

Manage what you consume.

Hindi lang pagkain.

Kundi:

pinapakinggan mo

pinapanood mo

sinusundan mo

paulit-ulit mong iniisip

Kasi kung araw-araw mong pinapakain ang isip mo ng kalat,

huwag kang magulat kung magulo ang direksyon ng buhay mo.

Kung ramdam mong may kailangang mag-shift sa isip mo,

huwag mo nang i-overthink. Panoorin mo na.

Hindi para maging “okay.”

Kundi para maging aware.

At doon nagsisimula ang tunay na kontrol.

“WALA LANG.”

Pero alam mo naman, hindi talaga wala lang.

We walked into this episode with no script.

No agenda.

No big plan.

Tapos isang topic ang paulit-ulit na bumabalik-balik

(oo paulit ulit, oo paulit ulit)

"Men’s mental health"

At habang tumatagal ang usapan, isang bagay ang nagiging malinaw samin:

* Madalas, possibleng hindi ikaw ang problema.

* Baka yung environment mo ang luma na and doesn't help you grow

Maraming lalaki ang tahimik pero pagod na.

Hindi dahil mahina.

Kundi dahil araw-araw silang sinusubok ng environment nila na hindi na aligned sa kung "sino" sila ngayon.

Environment na:

* Hindi ka tinuturuan mag-open up

* Hindi ka tinuturuan magtanong

* Hindi ka binibigyan ng space para magbago

Kaya kahit anong gawin mo, taena parang may mali pa rin.

Parang kulang pa rin~

Parang hindi ka umaangat....

Pero ang totoo, baka umaangat ka na.

Hindi lang updated ang paligid mo.

o baka hindi mo lang din napansin kasi kung san san ka nakatingin.

(Kaya nga self talk to, tumingin ka naman muna sa sarili mo)

In this episode, I sat down with my good friend George Ramos, and we talked about the things men rarely say out loud:

** "Bakit ang hirap mag-open up pag lalaki ka"

** "Bakit maraming nasa 30s at 40s ang biglang nagtatanong ng “ano ba talaga ang purpose ko?”"

** "Bakit kahit may trabaho, pamilya, o status, may mabigat pa ring negative self-talk sa ulo"

Here’s the part na gusto kong tandaan mo:

Kung araw-araw kang nasa environment na paulit-ulit kang binabalik sa lumang version mo,

kahit gaano ka pa ka-aware,

kahit gaano ka pa karaming alam,

parang napaka hirap umusad.

That’s why this conversation matters.

(at inupload ko dito.)

Hindi ito tungkol sa pag-aayos ng sarili mo.

Hindi ka sira. (o baka hahahaha)

It’s about recognizing when an environment has done its job,

and when it’s time to change it.

Kasi kapag nagbago ang environment mo,

malaki ang chance na magbabago din ang identity mo.

At oo, may parte rito na ikaw ang responsable.

(kasi ikaw naman talaga)

After graduation, after adulthood…

sarili mo na.

Wala nang teacher na magche-check ng assignment mo.

Wala nang automatic na gagabay.

Kaya coaching, therapy, mentorship ay useful lalo na kung decided ka na ayusin yung mga bagay na gusto mo ayusin sa sarili mo

~~~

This is Self:Talk Episode #11 – WALA LANG.

#MensMentalHealth #NLPPodcast #KenKenSomera #SelfTalk #MentalHealthAwareness #PodcastPhilippines #Mindset #Purpose #Anxiety #Depression #Empowerment #kenthoughts

🎙️ EPISODE 13: What Can Coaches Learn from 2025? | The "State First" Principle

What makes change work actually stick? Why do the same techniques work magically for one client but fall flat with another?

In this raw and reflective episode, host Ken-ken Somera is joined by Dr. Strix Toledo to audit the year's biggest professional lessons. They move past tools and tactics to uncover the foundational layer that dictates all success: THE CLIENT'S STATE.

We dive deep into:

🔹 The "State First" Principle: Why no technique works if the timing and internal state aren't right.

🔹 Strix's "Self-Talk State Ladder": A brand-new model for diagnosing where a client is (from Chaos to Clarity) and exactly what to do at each stage.

🔹 Practical 2025 Takeaways: The importance of chemistry calls, knowing when to refer clients out, and maintaining professional authority.

🔹 Looking ahead to 2026: Ken's new focus on "Confidence on Command" and the continuous pursuit of mastery.

Whether you're a coach, therapist, or simply working on your own growth, this episode provides a powerful framework for creating real, lasting change.

⏱️ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS & HIGHLIGHTS0:00 - 5:15 - Year-End Kickoff: Framing the core question: "What did we learn in 2025?"

5:15 - 18:30 - The Central Insight - "State First":

"It's about state first... no matter what we try, if the person isn't ready and if we're not ready... nothing lands." – Strix"It's a matter of when, brother. It's a matter of when." – Ken

• Why leverage, chemistry, and timing trump all techniques.

18:30 - 28:00 - Coach Reality Check:

• The necessity of "chemistry calls" and trusting your fit.

"Can I genuinely root for the client if I don't like the client?" – Ken

• The critical role of authority and belief in the therapeutic relationship.

28:00 - 45:00 - Introducing the "Self-Talk State Ladder":

• Rung 1: Threat/Collapse - "I am broken."

• Rung 2: Activated/Stressed - Urgent, looping anxiety.

• Rung 3: Regulated/Grounded - The neutral "base state" where change becomes possible.

• Rung 4: Insight/Clarity - The space for genius to arise.

"Self-talk isn't the cause, it's the symptom of your nervous system state." – Strix

45:00 - 55:00 - When Tools Fail & The Power of Referral:

• Recognizing when you're not the right vessel, and the ethics of referring out.

"It's a delusion to think you're the very best at something... if you're a conscientious practitioner, you give them to the person who can help them best." – Strix

55:00 - 1:05:00 - Ken's 2026 Focus & Final Insights:

• Ken announces his dedicated path toward "Confidence on Command" coaching.

• The importance of environment and community for mental management.

• Mastery defined: "When it doesn't change your breathing." – Strix

1:05:00 - END - Closing Messages & Looking Forward:

⏱️ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS & HIGHLIGHTS"

"If you're not dead, whatever it is, it was just a delay. Don't worry about perfection when you can start today to make progress." – Strix

Mabuhay! (Long live!)... Take advantage of the New Year's optimism. You have the power to change your state." – Ken

🎙️ EPISODE 7 — Kamusta, Kaibigan? | Self Talk with Ken-Ken Somera

This episode took months to record—literally. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I kept skipping it on my to-do list.

And ironically, that’s exactly what we talk about here:
✅ Delayed actions
✅ Unprocessed thoughts
✅ And how to finally show up when your mind's been overthinking the whole time.

This isn’t a scripted, sugarcoated monologue.
This is a raw, real-time check-in—with myself… and with you.

Inside this comeback episode:

• Why most people can’t speak up around authority figures—and what to do about it

• The missing skill in sales and interviews (Hint: It’s not confidence. It’s pattern exposure)

• How betrayal affects trust—and the real reason mentors get burned

• That awkward moment when you coach better than you record content 😅

• Why your 1-2-3-count method might just be your next productivity hack

• What to do when your thoughts run faster than your actions

• PLUS: Are you being too nice… or just setting yourself up for emotional blackmail?

This episode is your permission slip to pause, reflect, and restart—without waiting to “feel ready.”

🎧 Listen in if:

• You’ve been meaning to do something for months (and it still haunts your task list)

• You’re a coach, creator, or leader who gives too much—but rarely checks in with yourself

• You’re craving real talk on confidence, communication, and the psychology of action

📌 Self Talk isn’t just a podcast. It’s a mental mirror.
So ask yourself: Kamusta ka na, kaibigan?

—
🔥 Got questions or coaching topics you want me to dive into next?
Send me a DM or comment below. Your question might just be the next episode.

#SelfTalkWithKenKen #KamustaKaibigan #MentalProgramming #Confidence #Persuasion #NLPPhilippines #KenKenSomera #PodcastPH #SelfReflection #CommunicationTips #InnerWork #CoachingPodcast

#10 NLP Series – Modeling in Neuro-Linguistic Programming with Dr. Strix Toledo

Welcome to Episode 10 of the Self Talk Podcast, hosted by Ken-ken Somera, a certified NLP coach and master practitioner! In this special episode, we explore one of the most powerful yet often overlooked techniques in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): "MODELING"

Joining us is Dr. Strix Toledo, a physician, clarity coach, clinical hypnotherapist, and NLP Master Practitioner. Dr. Toledo specializes in helping individuals and professionals enhance productivity, overcome procrastination, and develop a success-driven mindset.

🔍 What You'll Learn in This Episode:

⏳ (06:56) – What is NLP? Understanding the foundation of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

⏳ (07:50) – NLP Modeling: The Art of Skill Transfer – How top performers replicate excellence.

⏳ (13:38) – How to Model Success in Any Skill – Creating step-by-step, teachable frameworks.

⏳ (21:24) – The Origins of NLP Modeling – Insights from Bandler, Grinder, and Milton Erickson.

⏳ (25:10) – Practical Examples of Modeling – From pain management to elite performance.

⏳ (29:47) – The Power of Immersion Learning – How copying experts can accelerate your growth.

⏳ (39:00) – Selective Modeling – Learn from the best while discarding limiting traits.

⏳ (46:22) – How to Apply NLP Techniques for Self-Image & Confidence – Future pacing and visualization.

🎯 Key Takeaways:

✅ NLP Modeling is the ultimate "cheat code" to mastering new skills.

✅ Curiosity is at the heart of NLP—find, observe, and absorb excellence.

✅ You can model greatness without inheriting someone’s struggles.

✅ Application is key – practice first, then personalize.

This episode is packed with insights that can transform how you learn, grow, and succeed in any field. Whether you're in leadership, sales, personal development, or just looking to improve yourself, NLP Modeling can unlock your full potential.

👉 Enjoyed this episode? Like, comment, and subscribe for more NLP insights!

🔗 Connect with us:

📌 Ken Ken: https://www.facebook.com/kenkensomeratraining

📌 Dr. Strix Toledo: https://www.facebook.com/sanstrix

#NLP #NeuroLinguisticProgramming #Modeling #SelfTalkPodcast #SuccessMindset #PersonalDevelopment #Hypnosis

Wala ka nanamang FOCUS?!

SELF TALK with Ken-ken Somera

Episode #8

I've gotten the chance to interview one of my mentors in Neuro Linguistic Programming and Coaching!

Manila NLP / John Boja" is one of the top mentors I know in regards to NLP here in the Philippines who started practicing NLP during the 80's, He trained with people who created and developed NLP. He coached executives from high technology companies in California like HP, Yahoo, Apple and Seagate. He already coached well known personalities, politicians and people from different all walks of life to achieve great success in life.

Let's get to know more of his experience and insights

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Here's an overview of what was covered this Episode

💎John Boja's personal journey with NLP showcases how it provided him with practical instructions on how to bring about change in his life and overcome self-sabotaging behaviors.

💎NLP, as John describes, offers language patterns and techniques that are useful in sales, persuasion, and communication. It has found application in various fields, including politics, law, and business.

💎John highlights the importance of mastering the foundational aspects of NLP before advancing to higher levels of training, emphasizing the value of practical experience and implementation.

💎He mentions that the inner dialogue or self-talk within individuals can play a significant role in their actions and decision-making. Understanding and managing this internal dialogue can lead to more constructive behaviors.

💎John discusses the significance of setting specific, ambitious, and realistic goals, accompanied by actionable plans and evidence of progress. He suggests that effective goal-setting involves considering timelines and engaging in consistent effort and activity.

💎Addressing the concept of multiple internal parts, John explains that individuals may have conflicting aspects within themselves, such as the desire for success and fear of failure. Recognizing and reconciling these parts can contribute to personal growth and achievement.

💎John advises individuals who may feel lost or uncertain about their direction in life to stay physically active, as the mind and body are interconnected. Maintaining an active and healthy lifestyle can positively impact mental well-being and combat depression.

💎He emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and planning for potential challenges and setbacks when pursuing goals. Incorporating strategies to overcome obstacles and staying positive amidst difficulties can lead to greater resilience and success.

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""LIMIT" IS A WORD THAT LIMITS YOU"    

“I CAN’T do this” 

“I’m NOT good enough” 

“WHO am I to do this?”  

Lagi mo bang sinasabi ‘yan sa sarili mo?  but if you think about it...  

"WHAT IF YOU’RE WRONG?"   

Leeeeeeeet's gooooooo deeeeppeeeeerrrrr   

Come and Join us with our first interview session    

We go inside the mind of Productivity and Transformative coach, speaker, trainer, and good friend, Dr. Strix Toledo.   

Alamin natin kung paano makakatulong sa atin ang mga bagay na ‘to:  

* Work through your LIMITING BELIEFS and NEGATIVE SELF-TALK  

* Ano ba ang FEAR? At pwede ba ito ma-UNLEARN? 

* INSIGHTS and how a fresh new thought can help you get to change