Sensitive & Self-Assured | Confidence | Set Boundaries | Self-acceptance | Find Your Purpose | Self-esteem

Sensitive & Self-Assured | Confidence | Set Boundaries | Self-acceptance | Find Your Purpose | Self-esteem

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Sensitive & Self-Assured | Confidence | Set Boundaries | Self-acceptance | Find Your Purpose | Self-esteem episodes

  • 72 | Personal Power Isn't Control, It's Surrender - with Randi Halaway - Part 1

    You've been taught that power means control. That letting go means losing something. That if you stop holding on so tight, everything falls apart.

    What if it's the opposite.

    In this two part conversation, I sit down with coach Randi Halaway to talk about personal power, not as force, but as surrender. Randi shares what it looked like when she lost touch with her own power, the marriage that lasted four months and became her wake up call, and the years-long process of learning to trust herself again.

    We talk about the armor most of us build without realizing it. Why vulnerability feels so dangerous when really it's the doorway. And why the discomfort of staying walled up is its own kind of pain, one we rarely name.

    This part of the conversation stayed with me long after we stopped recording. I hope it does the same for you.

    In this episode:

    • What personal power actually means, and why it has nothing to do with control
    • How to recognize the ways control shows up in your daily life
    • Why vulnerability is where our real strength lives
    • The difference between protecting yourself and actually living
    • Connect with Randi:

      • Website
      • Instagram
      • TikTok
      • Facebook
      • Connect with Allyssya: 

        Ready to stop abandoning yourself and start showing up as you? Book a free consultation

        Questions? Reach out: [email protected]

        25 min
      • 71 | Your Brain Isn't Reporting the Truth

        You send a text. Hours pass. No reply.

        Somewhere in that silence, your brain starts writing a story. “She’s upset with me. I did something wrong.”

        You never asked it to. It just did.

        In this episode, I explore the way our brains fill in gaps with information they don't actually have and present it to us as fact. From imagining what a stranger looks like before ever seeing a photo, to inventing what someone must be thinking about you after a fumbled sentence in a meeting, your mind is constantly filling in blanks and calling the result the truth.

        This week, I offer a simple practice for catching the difference between what you know and what your brain made up, without turning it into another reason to be hard on yourself.

        I share:

        • Why your brain fills in gaps instead of sitting with the unknown
        • How this shows up in your inner critic, and in what you assume others are thinking
        • A simple question to ask yourself the next time a strong reaction hits before you have the facts
        • Questions to sit with this week: What do you know to be true? What did your brain just make up?

          I'd love to hear what your brain fabricated this week. Send me a message or share it on socials. 

          Connect with me:

          Book a consultation

          @lifecoach_allyssya

          Allyssya Gossett Coaching

          11 min
        • 70 | 4 Costs of Staying Silent at Work

          You're sitting in a meeting. You have a thought, a question, an idea worth sharing. Then the filter kicks in. What if it's a dumb question? What if I should already know this? What if I upset someone?

          You say nothing. The meeting moves on. You leave feeling invisible, even though you had so much to offer.

          This isn't a confidence problem you were born with. It's a learned pattern, often one that started long before this job. And learned patterns can be unlearned.

          In this episode, I share my own story of staying quiet in professional settings, not because I lacked expertise, but because fear was louder than the ideas and questions I had to offer. And I break down exactly what that editing and silence costs. 

          What this episode uncovers:

          • The physical experience happening in your body the moment you stay silent
          • The mental loops that run during the meeting, and the ones that follow you after it
          • The real costs of staying silent at work
          • What begins to shift when you start sharing your ideas, even imperfectly
          • If this episode felt familiar, if you've been the quietest person in rooms where you had the most to offer, know that this pattern can shift. 

            Curious what that could look like for you? Book a consultation

            Connect with me:

            @lifecoach_allyssya

            Allyssya Gossett Coaching

            23 min
          • 69 | Your Energy Is Sacred: Learning to Choose What You Carry - with Alexandra Goldwell

            For decades, my guest couldn't stop absorbing the emotions of everyone around her - her clients, her students, and even strangers in a room - and it took her years to understand she wasn't broken. She was highly sensitive, and no one had ever taught her what to do with that.

            In this conversation, somatic therapist and counselor educator Alexandra Goldwell shares what three decades of working with highly sensitive people (and being one herself) has taught her about energy, emotion, and self-trust. We talk about why crying, anger, and grief are not problems to be managed but information to be honored, and why the HSPs who feel most depleted after social gatherings are often the ones who never learned to express rather than just absorb.

            Alexandra also opens up about the inherited beliefs many women carry about their own worth, and how those imprints, passed down through generations, shape the way we overgive, overstay, and undervalue ourselves in relationships.

            In this episode, we cover:

            • Why "what's wrong with me" is often the first stop on the road to understanding sensitivity
            • Simple, elemental practices for clearing absorbed energy at the end of the day (nature, water, movement, sweat, tears)
            • How to build a relationship with difficult emotions instead of fearing them
            • Why expressing yourself in social settings changes how drained you feel afterward
            • The difference between honoring someone else's story and abandoning your own energy to hold it
            • A favorite moment:

              "Your energy is sacred. You are the one who chooses where to spend it, where to put it, who gets the honor of being with it. You're the one who decides."

              Be gentle with yourself this week. Take care.

              Connect with Alexandra:

              Find her on Instagram, where she shares her work supporting women through fertility challenges as a healer and through her group program focused on collective growth.

              Connect with Me:

              📅 Book a consultation

              32 min
            • 68 | Falling Back Into Old Habits Doesn't Mean You're Failing

              Lately, I’ve been having similar conversations with several of my clients. They find themselves back in old habits and old thought patterns they were sure they'd already worked through, and the frustration that follows can be brutal. There's this quiet shame that creeps in, like the work was supposed to be finished by now and certain challenges should have been resolved for good.

              So today I'm revisiting an episode from last summer that captures exactly what's going on. Because slipping back into old patterns isn't a sign that something is wrong with you. It's simply a normal part of the process.

              In this episode, I talk about:

              • Why personal growth isn't a straight line, and what it actually looks like to be "in a dip"
              • Why old thought patterns resurface when you challenge yourself in new ways
              • The stock market mindset shift that makes setbacks feel less like failure
              • If you've been feeling discouraged because you're back in a place you thought you'd left behind, this episode is going to meet you right where you are.

                Growth was never meant to be a straight line. The dips are part of the climb.

                Connect with Me:

                📅 Book a consultation

                9 min
              • 67 | Why Social Settings Leave You Completely Drained

                You're in a room full of people you genuinely like. A topic comes up. You have something real to say. And then the internal checklist starts. Is this the right moment? Will that sound weird? What if they disagree? By the time you've run through all of it, the moment is gone. You say nothing. You leave early. And the next three days, you replay everything you wished you had said.

                Today I’m talking about what is happening when social settings leave you completely drained, and why it might not be what you think.

                Inside this episode:

                • Why highly sensitive women often leave social settings exhausted, and what's really driving it
                • The internal editing process that's happening in real time and what it's costing you energetically
                • The difference between needing solitude to recharge and recovering from self-suppression
                • What becomes possible when you stop filtering yourself before you even speak
                • The fatigue is real. But so is what's underneath it. You're not drained because you can't be around people. You're drained because showing up as a filtered version of yourself is exhausting in a way that showing up as the real you simply isn't.

                  Ready to explore what this looks like for you with some support? I'd love to connect. Schedule a free consultation

                  If this episode felt like it was written for you, pass it along. Someone in your life is probably living this too.

                  17 min
                • 66 | How to Have Self-Compassion When It Feels Like Your Inner Critic Is Always Winning

                  There's a voice inside. You know the one. The one that shows up when your needs feel like too much, when you're convinced you're a burden, when you're replaying a moment everyone else has probably already forgotten. And instead of offering yourself any grace, you listen to it. You agree with it. You let it win.

                  In this episode, we're talking about what it means to have compassion for yourself, not as a concept, but as something you can practice in the real, hard, tender moments of your life.

                  What's inside:

                  • The dictionary definition of compassion 
                  • A personal story about fragrance allergies, shame spirals, and the moment I recognized I wasn't giving myself what I give everyone else
                  • Why the critical voice in your head is not you, it's a part of you, and understanding the difference
                  • A simple three-part compassion check-in you can use the next time that voice gets loud
                  • Having your own back in a hard moment isn't weakness or indulgence, it's the same steady, generous presence you've always been able to offer the people you love. You never needed to earn it. You've always had it inside. It's time to turn it toward yourself.

                    Ready to start giving yourself compassion with support? If this episode resonated and you're ready to explore what this work looks like for you, I'd love to connect. Schedule a free consultation

                    If this episode gave you something, share it with someone who needs to hear it. You probably already know who that person is.

                    18 min
                  • 65 | A New Way to Think About Your Sensitive Mind - with Tricia Veldman - Part 2

                    In Part 2 of my conversation with Trisha Veldman, we pick up where we left off and move into some of the most thought-provoking territory of the entire conversation. We discuss being the movie star of your own life, what it truly means to be powerful and poised, and a perspective on creativity and overthinking that I genuinely have not been able to stop thinking about since we recorded.

                    In this episode we cover:

                    • The story behind Powerful and Poised and why Trisha believes sensitivity and confidence were never opposites
                    • What it means to be the "movie star of your own life" and how that shift in perspective can free you from the exhausting cycle of self-consciousness
                    • Why people are wired for creative expression and the fascinating prehistoric research that backs it up
                    • The game-changing insight that your rumination and overthinking are actually creative energy in disguise
                    • Connect with Tricia:

                      • Trisha's website: powerfulandpoised.com
                      • Instagram: @powerfulandpoised
                      • YouTube: @powerfulandpoised
                      • TikTok: @powerfulpoised
                      • Book: Create and Receive, Make and Believe by Patti the Poetess
                      • Trisha's HSP Poem:

                        Don't miss the final minutes of this episode where Trisha performs an original spoken word poem that captures what it feels like to live as a highly sensitive person. It is raw, rhythmic, and incredibly relatable. It might just be the thing you didn't know you needed to hear today.

                        28 min
                      • 64 | A New Way to Think About Your Sensitive Mind - with Tricia Veldman - Part 1

                        Have you ever felt like your sensitivity was something to apologize for? Like you owed the world an explanation every time you needed to leave early, skip the late night out, or take fewer clients than your colleagues? If so, this episode is for you.

                        In Part 1, I sit down with Trisha Veldman, confidence coach, spoken word poet, TEDx speaker, and founder of Powerful and Poised, for an honest and deeply relatable conversation about what it really means to be a highly sensitive woman navigating life, relationships, and a career in the spotlight.

                        In this episode we cover:

                        • What it was like for Trisha to discover she was a highly sensitive person and why that moment was so liberating
                        • The unique challenges of being a performer with a sensitive nervous system 
                        • Why highly sensitive people tend to over-explain and apologize, and how to stop
                        • The power of knowing your limits and owning them unapologetically
                        • Connect with Tricia:

                          • Trisha's website: powerfulandpoised.com
                          • Instagram: @powerfulandpoised
                          • YouTube: @powerfulandpoised
                          • TikTok: @powerfulpoised
                          • Book: Create and Receive, Make and Believe by Patti the Poetess
                          • Coming up in Part 2:

                            If you thought this conversation was good, just wait. In Part 2, Trisha shares the story behind the Powerful and Poised brand, what it really means to be both strong and sensitive at the same time, and one insight about your ruminating mind that genuinely stopped me in my tracks. It's one of my favorite moments I've ever had on this podcast and I don't want you to miss it.

                            18 min
                          • 63 | The Healing Power of Seeing Yourself: A Boudoir Journey to Self-Love - with Vanessa Isenbarger

                            What if the most radical thing you could do for yourself was simply allow yourself to be seen?

                            In this deeply personal and inspiring episode, I sit down with boudoir photographer Vanessa Isenbarger, a woman whose lens has transformed the way countless women see themselves. With over 15 years behind the camera, Vanessa has built more than a photography business. She has created a sacred space where women walk in carrying their fears, their doubts, and their "not yet" excuses, and walk out seeing themselves for the breathtaking, powerful women they truly are.

                            This conversation is one I have been holding close to my heart, because this year, in honor of turning 47 and celebrating the life of my grandmother, I finally did the thing I had been putting off for nearly seven years. I booked my boudoir shoot. And Vanessa was the one behind the camera.

                            Together we talk about:

                            • Why the "right time" is whenever you feel the pull
                            • The fear almost every woman carries walking into a shoot and what happens when she sees her photos
                            • How boudoir photography is about so much more than beautiful images
                            • The beliefs we carry that were never ours to begin with and how to choose new ones on purpose
                            • Why the thing that just won't go away deserves your attention
                            • Vanessa's journey into boudoir began at her own lowest point, when she turned the camera on herself and discovered something unexpected. That vulnerability became her driving force, and now is the foundation of every session she shoots.

                              This episode is a love letter to every woman who has skipped the party, avoided the photo, or waited until "someday" to take up space. Your someday is now.

                              Connect with Vanessa: boudoirbypearl.com | @PearlFineArtStudios (public) | @PearlFineArtBoudoir (women only, private) 

                              Connect with Allyssya: [email protected] | @lifecoach_allyssya | Allyssya Gossett Coaching

                              If this episode moved you, share it with a woman in your life who needs to hear it. And if you have been sitting on your own "someday," consider this your sign.

                              28 min

                            About Sensitive & Self-Assured | Confidence | Set Boundaries | Self-acceptance | Find Your Purpose | Self-esteem

                            From the publisher's feed

                            You've spent a long time believing that feeling everything so deeply was something to overcome. 

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