An hour before my husband Jeff’s high school graduation, he was nowhere to be found. He had left the house that morning, informing his parents that he would not be going to his graduation. He had just gotten the news that a friend of his had been in a terrible accident and was very badly hurt. Jeff had no interest in sitting through some endless ceremony, listening to maudlin speeches, and feeling sad. So he went out and found a nice tree to sit under instead along with his girlfriend at the time.
Meanwhile, two friends of his stopped by his house to pick him up. They learned from Jeff’s mother that he was planning to skip his graduation and she didn’t know where he was. But they quickly guessed where he would have gone. They drove over to his special, favorite tree, and sure enough, there he was, lying on his back in the grass, gazing at the sky. Jeff looked over and saw his two friends approaching. He thought to himself, “They’re going to try to talk me into going. Fat chance!” But they didn’t. They simply picked him up. One grabbed him by the ankles, the other by the arms and they carried him to the car. They said, “You idiot. You’re not missing your high school graduation. And your mother is in tears, by the way.” And so it was that Jeff attended his graduation after all.
I can certainly relate to what Jeff was feeling. Some of the most boring hours of my life have been the hours that I spent in the three graduations that I’ve been a part of. I remember the sinking feeling each time when I realized that yes, they really are going to call the name of every single one of the millions of people here and wait for them to walk across the stage to get their diploma. They’re really, actually going to do that. And my big moment will be being handed a piece of paper. Please tell me I’ll get these hours back at the end of my life?
I bet some of you feel the same way about these things. And some of us love these things. Either way, we do them. And generally, when we look back, we’re glad that we did. Graduations, bridging ceremonies, new member ceremonies, weddings, memorial services. They mark a moment of transition – a moment when we are changing from one thing to another. They say to us, “okay, from now on, you’re not what you were before, you’re something new. You’re no longer a youth, you’re a young adult. Boom. You’re no longer a visitor to First U; you’re a member of the community. Boom.”
But we all know that it doesn’t exactly work that way. We don’t become something new all at once, at any one moment, one day, even one year. Almost everything is a gradual process. Those of you who joined the congregation today – Diana, Daniel, Sofia, Matt, Frank, Kristina, Jason, Robert, Chelsea, Clare, Matt, Kermit, and Lindsey –
your process of becoming part of this community started long before today and will continue long after today. Those of you who are bridging – Ethan, Marco, and Ben – your process of growing from a youth to a young adult started long before today and will continue long after today. And it’s always been like that. When it’s your birthday, you know that you’re not suddenly a year older. It’s so annoying (at least it used to be to me) when people say, “So how does it feel to be 9?” And you want to say, “It feels exactly how it felt to be 8.”
But think about a life without any ceremonies. Without any way to celebrate growing up or changing. Think about how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. It’s a process. It takes over a week, which, for a caterpillar is a long time. It happens so gradually, I wonder if the caterpillar is even aware of the change as it’s happening. I wonder if it senses some magical moment inside the chrysalis when suddenly it gets its butterfly soul. And by the time it’s a butterfly, I wonder if it even remembers having been a caterpillar. It’s kind of sad to think that it would go through this incredible change without even realizing it.