We sometimes stumble and/or feel overwhelmed (and maybe you do, too?) when trying to talk about gender and bodies in the most inclusive way, so we are reaching out for help! In this (brief!) Briefs episode, Stephanie shares about a time when she was wrong, and she examines the defenses that came up in her and ways of moving beyond them. And we are so glad that Jamie Beckenstein joins us to share his perspectives on this and to invite us into wise and compassionate ways of thinking about all this. Also! We share some great listener responses to past episodes (our listeners are the sexiest).

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Here’s a bonus video from Jamie, in which he talks about what he most wants to communicate to the world about sex and relationships:

Dossie Easton (hero of ours, trailblazer in the realm of authenticity/communication/sexual freedom, author of several books including “The Ethical Slut”) joins us, and we are so freaking honored!! We discuss how to find out what your needs and desires are in the first place, the value of making time to explore about learn about sex, creating no fault exploration zones, unlearning shame, managing jealousy, the basics of rope bondage. And what to do when you are a woman in a monogamous marriage with a man, but you are realizing you have a strong attraction to women? Plus: shout outs about joy and wonderment, an interfaith symposium on sexuality, the many different ways of being in and out of the closet, info about Stephanie’s coaching practice, sneak preview tracks from the Love Songs for the Rest of Us album, and the mighty return of the crowd source question!

Here’s a round up of resources from the episode:

We miss you! Where the hell have we been, you ask? Check out this mini episode to find out. Plus, we’ve got a short interview with Chelsea Downs of Amorous Revolt (a queer/kinky camping extravaganza happening in late July). We’ll be officially back in September, and until then, as always, you can let us know your thoughts/ideas/objections/questions at [email protected]. And remember: authenticity and communication are the sexiest!

BDSM guru, activist/performer/writer/woman of many talents: Mollena Williams shares about her renewed hope in love in a full-time master/slave relationship, and her journey with owning her power as a submissive. Boundaries and communication in consensual power play! The many grey areas of consent! The many many complexities of power play and race/class/gender/etc/etc/etc! We collectively address listener questions including: How do you break into BDSM culture? How can a new submissive be sure not to be taken advantage of? If your friend is in a new full-time master/slave relationship and asks you to cc their partner on every email and text (and you’d much rather not do that), does that make your friend a bad kinkster or does that mean that you are a bad friend? Plus, we dish on Fifty Shades of Grey, and Mollena gives a call to action about making new/better kink-focused art.

OKCupid’s Chief Product Officer, Jimena Almendares, is at the front lines of queering the OKCupid algorithm! And we were fortunate enough to get to talk to her in depth on this episode about how OKC has recently incorporated non-binary gender identities and sexual orientations beyond gay and straight! She also generously shares about her epic personal journey. We collectively address questions from listeners including: someone who asks for pep talk about how to make the most out of online dating, someone who is a gay male and married to a woman wondering if it is kinder to himself and his family to be fully out or not, and someone who is questioning when it is okay to be into people from your same race/class/education background and when your preferences might be harmfully reinforcing systemic oppression. Plus, a shout out about the awesomeness of being single even though our society is couples-obsessed.

Hey Smart People, if you are new to this podcast, we recommend that you start here. In this episode, recorded live in front of an (amazingly sexy) audience at the Bowery Poetry Club, we share our personal stories, our mission statement and why we are passionate about doing this podcast. We also address queries from the audience about things like: keeping consent talk sexy, starting the conversation about having an open relationship, and beginning to explore the sex party scene. Plus, music performances by Salty Brine, Ian Axness, and BONOBONOBONOBO, and learn what our audience thinks is the sexiest. Our love is what we make of it, yo. We’re so glad and grateful that you are in this conversation with us.

Here’s a video of Stephanie sharing what she most passionately wants to communicate about sex and relationships:

Thank you so much for being in conversation with us!

Love is a verb. Queer is a verb. Ally is a verb. Super wise actvist/writer/poet Janani Balasubramanian is our guest of honor this time. Janani shares a bit about their journey, the importance of slow-hard-awkward conversations & quiet acts of solidarity, and how activism doesn’t feel like a choice for them. We grapple with the civil rights fires that are raging across the nation, the intersections between race/class/gender oppression, and we talk about on-ramps to getting engaged (or getting even more engaged) in working toward undoing that oppression. We collectively address listener questions about preferred pronouns, language around ethical non-monogamy, and how not to fetishize trans and gender non-conforming people if/when you are into them. We feature an amazing poem of Janani’s (find more at queerdarkenergy.com)! Plus, shout outs about the beauty and importance of chosen family, the Women of Color Sexual Health Network, Al Qaws (a queer community organizing platform in Palestine), and self-care as a radical act. Happy ALL of the holidays to everyone!

On catcalling, Jian Ghomeshi, female orgasm, Gamergate, and more! In this *doozy* of an episode, we are honored to be joined by Miri Mogilevsky. We address listener questions including: Is there something wrong with me if I never have an orgasm without my my clit being stimulated? How do you navigate when you like being objectified and when it makes you feel gross? Do you really have to share everything (in a longterm relationship, is it ok to have anything that’s just yours)? We also throw down about the race dynamics of that catcalling video, consent in the context of consensual power play, the professor/student quagmire at Northwestern University, and California’s new affirmative consent legislation. Plus, shout outs about respecting preferred pronouns, translifeline.com, hope/action in the face of crisis, communication about sex as a juicy form of foreplay, and sex as something you DO – not something you HAVE.

2 guests! So many juicy quickies! Badass writer/comedian Emma Tattenbaum-Fine and sex ed superstar Francisco Ramirez (he’s back!!) join us to throw down about various and sundry things including: sexuality is not a luxury, making decisions based on love (not fear), sex tips from porn star Stoya, taking time to prioritize sex, facts versus feelings, pubic hair, why there are so few women in the film industry, UTIs and yeast infections, puppy play, enjoying sex in a non-traditionally sexual way, “The Sessions” with Helen Hunt, and more. Then we have a longer conversation about when to call shit out versus when to create onramps for dialogue about patriarchy and rape culture – we want YOUR thoughts on this, too. Plus, a special bonus interview segment with Charlie Williams, the founder/developer of the new Cuddlr app!

Somatic sexuality educator Dr. Charlie Glickman of MakeSexEasy.com (and co-author of “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure”) joins us to discuss his super wise insights on relationships and the nuances of relationships to relationships. He shares some moving stories about helping clients move past sexual shame through hands-on coaching. We collectively address listener questions including: How can I fully express my masculinity without being a dick? When part of the turn-on is not talking about things, how do you establish boundaries? And how do you have a causal hook-up and also be sure you’re not hurting someone? The wide range of possibilities of pleasure in anal sex and the wide range of feelings and fears about anal pleasure. Being bold versus being aggressive. Stephanie and Charlie recommend awesome books about non-violent communication and asexuality, and Dave shares about how he was asked to formally object to yet another wedding. Plus, our first round of happy healthy (and these particular ones are super extra gorgeous) break-up stories. Our listeners are the sexiest AND the most beautiful, yo.