Sex, Lies & Parenthood

Warning: we are drinking alcohol and get a little tipsy plus it’s unedited so you’re welcome…In this episode I confront my husband about something that has been bothering me, the poop stains in the toilet. Why do I feel like I am constantly cleaning poop and pee still? Our kids are years out of diapers, I thought I was done! Then we spin the wheel and that turns into a shit show because I was unprepared for the category. Capricorn comes up with a question on the fly and, well, you’ll just have to hear if we stayed on track. Spoiler alert, we didn’t, but we laughed a lot and had fun with this episode so, we hope you laugh along with us…or at us, but hopefully with us.

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Warning: this episode is unedited and raw which just means you’ll hear us say “like” and “you know what I mean” – I usually cut those out.

In this episode we talk about getting spammed on our texts and e-mails, it’s draining and I swear if someone signed us up for this crap karma is a bitch! We go behind the scenes on how we record the podcast – trust me, you can do it too. I discuss my start in TV and telling stories which is what content producers do and I get to do with my husband now which is AMAZING! I reveal how we plan to grow our brand and, of course, Capricorn pitches his merch ideas.

CALLING GRAPHIC AND WEB DESIGNERS…did you make a pivot during the pandemic after losing your job and are now growing your former side hustle? We need you! [email protected]

Then we break out the Sex, Lies and Parenthood wheel where we answer a question in the category that the wheel randomly landed on. This one hit close to home for us as we have been dealing with the same issue in our own home. Listen to HOW we deal with it and we would love your take on how the issue should be handled. Comment here or send me an e-mail [email protected]

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Warning: this episode is unedited and raw…

My husband Capricorn heard that JLo and ARod have called off their engagement so he decided to shoot his shot, I just about peed myself! She is on his list, you know the list of celebrities people have that they get a pass from their significant other to have sex with. He had the worst pick-up line ever which got us talking about pick-up lines and how useless they are at the bar. Capricorn gives advice on how one should carry themselves if they want attention when they go out, apparently NOT looking desperate and playing hard-to-get works wonders.

Then we break out the trusty wheel to see if it will land on a Sex, Lies or Parenthood question…let me just say, the title of this episode says it all. Can you turn a “Ho” into a husband? I would love to hear what you think in the comments or send me an e-mail [email protected]

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Warning – these are unedited and raw so forgive us! My computer was left in California with the car so these are getting published as is…

Sophia and I are back and home, she is so happy to be back to normal and I am trying to figure out what my new normal is. I am have worked my whole life, I have never not had a J.O.B. and I have never had the opportunity to be called just “mom” and “wife.” There was always another title along with those that often came first. Now that I am a stay-at-home mom and wife, I am finding myself a bit lost and I have realized its just not my thing. Sophia is 9 and Nico is 10, they aren’t much into spending time with mom anymore. I am glad I did my best to maximize their days and weekends when I was working because they were cuter when they were younger and wanted their mommy. Yes, I am salty. Now they are pushing boundaries and getting into trouble which makes me “mean mommy” and both have suggested I go back to California and leave them alone. Fun. Then there are household chores I can’t seem to get done because I am balancing building an empire while trying to do dishes and cook. My mother-in-law lives with us, she moved in to take care of Nico and Mark while I was away. She does all of the laundry and makes sure my husband has breakfast and makes him lunch. So basically I am there for the sex, at least that’s what it feels like. I will keep building the empire, while planning our next trip without kids because, let’s be honest, I don’t want to be here either. God bless Nana, she can handle it…

In this episode we break out the trusty Sex, Lies and Parenthood wheel, whichever topic it lands on we pick a question from our followers/listeners, and do our best to answer it with no other authority whatsoever, just years of experience and a sense of humor. WARNING: this episode deals with sex and not being fresh “down there.”

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Will Sophia stay in LA or are we packing up to go back home?  Will she continue to pursue acting or give up? We gave ourselves 3 months to get settled, learn as much as we can about the business and try to land an agent; listen to hear what happened.

PLUS…My mother-in-law is leaving us soon, she got a trailer and will be living in an RV park in the Spring snd Summer months so who is going to watch our kids if we go on the road? Does that mean we have to actually parent our kids now and take them with us?

We can’t win with our kids no matter what we do, we are older parents now so we are a bit more chill than when we were younger (and by chill I men we are tired). Parents, how do you manage your kids lofty expectations when you are trying to come up with fun things to do together? We really need advice because our kids are bougie and we have to stay on a budget.

I want to know what age you can retire – like 50 right? My husband and I have been working since we were kids and I just want to figure out what to finally do with my life. There is no hustle right now, but we do have flow…what will that mean when you have to make money to live or can we make the mental flip and live while making money?

Capricorn has the acting bug and it’s making me nuts. We had ONE commercial shoot and now he thinks he’s a movie star. Nope. Help…

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In this episode we read a listener’s e-mail I have been holding onto because I wanted to be sure how I felt before we answered it. She is married and loves her husband BUT there is something he doesn’t do enough of for her, so she has someone on the side who does, now she doesn’t know what to do. We also delve into how lazy we are as a couple and as parents compared to others and we discuss if an open marriage is in our future. Enjoy!

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The dancer from my husband’s past that FB messaged me whom we discussed in Episode 9 e-mailed us! She had a few things to say after that episode which we address in this episode, episode 15. #1 You will hear me in FULL petty mode. #2 It brought up so many questions…if you relate to ANY of these please e-mail me your stories! They are each their own topic so I want to go back to them in future episodes. [email protected]  Did you have to identify a penis pic sent to you to from a mistress to confirm it belonged to your significant other who was cheating on you? Did a friend set you up with someone to cheat with? Have you ever cheated with a dancer in a strip club? What are your best/worst threesome stories? Where did you cheat? What excuse to you come up with so you have the time to cheat? IE: Lying to your significant other about going somewhere like the gym or a nightly run. What is the best car for a booty call? How did you alert a roommate that you were having sex? This episode is a doozy folks!

 

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Our road trip out of the mountains is almost over, we stayed in a magical fairy cottage with no doors which made getting intimate impossible. It’s the question we just couldn’t find the answer to – getting intimate during vacation with kids, is it possible? Send me an e-mail with suggestions for next time [email protected]

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Capricorn came to visit for a weekend and the visit turned into 11 days! We shot a testimonial commercial together with Sophia, our daughter, and I had already booked an AirBnB in a fairy cottage near Sequoia and King’s Canyon National Parks so he was able to experience that with us. These 2 Road Trip episodes are super chill and an update to what is going on in our lives. The BIG question I ask in this episode to Capricorn…does he even want me to come back home?

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Capricorn is in LA visiting his girls, me and our daughter. An opportunity has allowed him to extend his stay! Listen to find out for how long and what we’ve been up to. We will share what the opportunity is soon…for now know you are loved and than you for listening!

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