Sex, Love, & Power with Demetra Nyx

Julia and I talk about how she made over six figures in two months while traveling the world and only working part time, what she had to work through in order to choose pleasure, what it means to live from pussy, and how we choose pleasure in our everyday lives. We discuss the difference between doing life in a masculine-energy- based way or a feminine way, what has held us back from fully committing to our pleasure, and how listening to our pussies shows up sexually, emotionally, and financially. Plus so much more!!!

Julia wells is a pussy based business coach for boss bitches who want to learn how to build and run a profitable and pleasurable business. She’s all about doing it your own way, as long as that way involves a shit ton of feeling good. She’s a digital nomad, host of the podcast wait wtf and runs the most incredible community on fb called Visible AF. Her Instagram is @juliamotherfuckingwells and you can find her podcast anywhere podcasts are found!

This is my favorite episode yet because of how vulnerable it is - my friend Jacqueline (who is also a sex coach and will be assisting my retreats!) and I talk about our own journeys into loving our bodies. We touch on eating disorders, sexual assault, body image issues, and more. We discuss the process behind our social media posts and how we purposely make ourselves uncomfortable; we mention setting boundaries and how we do that in our own lives now; and we talk about always having the choice to decide what you want from your life. It’s the most natural and open podcast conversation yet - I didn’t edit it and I love how real it is.

To find out more about the retreats, visit www.demetranyx.com/retreats

In this episode, Nikka and I discuss:

- being magnetizing

- speaking from your pussy (and what that means)

- being in flow and getting out of our stress response

- the creative process

- movement and why it matters

- how to learn to feel again

- how she got over stage fright

- connecting to your body, why it’s so important & how to do it

- safety in our bodies

- how systemic racialized trauma affects people of color being in their bodies

- how to have an impact - activism in your business

Notes: Nikka Karli is a Soul Medicine Woman, Erotic Muse, Multidisciplinary Storyteller, Movement Artist, Primal Sexual Energy Coach, & Ceremonial Activist.She is a student of perennial creativity, indigenous wisdom, and the primal untaming of our own lives… and is obsessed with how we can leverage our preeminence, sexual energy, and art to activate the socioeconomic change we are here to midwife into the world.

Nikka helps High-Achieving Creators unlock their Erotic Genius and scale their soul’s work into preeminent platforms of social change through Primal Self Re-Integration™.She has over 20 years of experience coaching in the fields of yoga, fitness, mindset, strength and conditioning, rehabilitation, wellness, creativity, and leadership. She holds a Bachelors degree in Athletic Training/Kinesiology from The University of Connecticut, a 500-hour yoga teacher certification from The Breathing Space (in the Krishnamacharya lineage, under the tutelage of Robert Birnberg who studied under the late T.K.V. Desikachar), an Expressive Yoga Dance certification (with Jada Fire of Barefoot Sanctuary), a holistic health coach certification from IIN, and multiple fitness certifications.Nikka is currently completing her 600-hour certification in Sex, Love, and Relationships, with a focus in Tantra and Women’s Sexuality {through The Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality with Layla Martin}.”

Her website is www.nikkakarli.com

“I had a very solid stance that I don’t share, and that I am very straight… I found out that I was wrong.” - Ellecia Paine.

Everything you ever wanted to know about group sex, threesomes, orgies, and more - sex coach Ellecia and I discuss her own journey from monogamy into non-monogamy, what to do about jealousy, the secret tip for the best blow jobs ever, what options are available to non-monogamous people (hint: they are endless!), tips for communicating with your partner(s), and safe sex.

In this episode, psychotherapist and sex coach Adrienne Cobcroft and I discuss so many things that I decided just to put it in a list for you:

- power and control in relationships

- how this shows up in ALL relationships, not just unhealthy ones

- why do people want power?

- how these dynamics show up in childhood

- criticism as power

- setting boundaries in relationships

- patriarchy

- what defines power in our culture

- fear around the system collapsing

- how the world is shifting because of climate change

- gardening, and other self-sustaining activities

and way way more!

This episode is relevant to anyone in a long-term relationship (of any age!), but will be especially helpful for people over 40.

Belinda Wiley and I talk about her sex life at 62, planning sex, feeling the duty to have sex, women not knowing or caring about their pleasure, the belief that our bodies stop working as we get older, practices you can do with your partner, feeling appreciated, the importance of "being from a good family" and shame around sex when she grew up, never discussing her own body, penis and pussy massage, orgasm not being the goal..... and way, way more!

I put out a call on social media to ask anything you wanted to know - and you asked! There was such a range of questions relating to sex and life - to make it easier for listeners, you can either listen to the entire thing or find your question below. This episode is just me, unedited :)

3:50 – How do you avoid feeling suffocated when everyone around you is supportive of things that are against what you believe in?

10:07 – I don’t feel satisfied when I masturbate anymore, am I doing it too often? How can I make it better?

15:50 – What creative things can me and my partner do if sex is physically painful for me?

24:45 – Is anal sex actually pleasurable for women?

26:33 – What makes sex best?

27:44 – Is there anything wrong if my love can only come when he does it himself?

31:42 – Tips for orgasming vaginally?

40:42 – I can only orgasm when stimulating my clit myself, how do I change this?

46:03 – How can I deepen into pleasure and hold it without releasing it too quickly?

51:03 – Can you talk about womb healing?

1:02:33 – Tips for an inconsistent period and low libido?

1:14:12 – Do you have sex on your period?

1:16:07 – Is it really true that everyone is capable of multiple orgasms?

1:19:23 – I hardly feel any pleasure from sex. It’s hot that he’s inside me, but I feel nothing

1:22:20 – Can you talk about the concept of virginity?

1:26:28 – I’m a closet gay and a closet female. How can I come out?

1:31:19 – What do I do if I can only have sex for 5 minutes and then I come?

1:32:50 – Why can’t my girlfriend orgasm?

Archetypes matter because the stories we hold are forming the way we see the world and the way we live our entire lives. There is literally nothing more important.

We talk about so many things in this episode that I decided to just list some of them for you instead of writing a paragraph:

- How archetypes are formed in society

- How to welcome and work with all aspects of ourselves

- Reconnecting with our sexual energy

- How our culture cuts out essential parts of stories

- Myths giving us a roadmap for ourselves

- Star Wars and King Arthur

- Religion, the history of Christianity and how it impacts us

- Climate change

- Family wounding, why it happens and how we heal it

- Repeating patterns and stories in our lives

Sasha also tells some really beautiful stories – I highly recommend this episode

Sasha Cueto is a Soulful Sex and Empowerment Coach. She has been a student of the Mysteries ever since she was 12 years old, dedicating her life to becoming a priestess in one of the most demanding spiritual schools she ever assisted, and getting to know many traditions, tools, and teachers ever since. She has learned tools that range from archetypal study, dreamwork, and meditation, to bodywork, breathwork, and Taoist practices. 

 

Sasha discovered the incredible power of sexual energy when she had her first spontaneous Kundalini Awakening. She studied at the Tantric School of Integrated Sexuality where she graduated as a Sex Coach, with a major in both Female Sexuality and Jade Egg.

Now, she helps women heal their connection to their body and soul, using pleasure as a tool. You can follow Sasha at @sasha_cueto or visit her website at www.sasha-cueto.com.

In this episode, Bridget Bloom and I talk about what adventure therapy is, what adventure does for our brains, her own life journey through a traumatic brain injury, the ways different cultures view adventure, and more. We also discuss how making ourselves uncomfortable in a safe environment can help us rewrite our own stories, and how we can bring this sense of adventure into our everyday lives. Ultimately, this episode is about finding a sense of power in ourselves.

In this episode, I talk to Ryan Thomas about his journey from resenting women and being in the military to becoming a sex & relationship coach for men. Ryan spent 11 years in the Canadian military, which was where he mostly learned about sex and masculinity. We talk about his sexual experiences that were based on insecurity, and how they led him to become involved in conversational hypnosis and the pick-up artist community, which largely taught him about manipulating women (you can even hear him give me an example of what this type of communication sounds like). Disliking the manipulation, he left those communities and continued on a deeper journey of self-growth to understand how to have better sex, intimacy and relationships, which resulted in him starting his own business, The Intimate Lifestyle. He also gives a great description of what it feels like for men to have non-ejaculatory orgasms, we talk about sex parties and the nature of humanity... so many topics! I think this conversation will be interesting for everyone.

Ryan's bio:

Ryan made a surprisingly uncommon career transition. He transitioned out of the army as Captain, after an 11-year career. Now, he is a Sex and Relationship Coach for men.

He helps men become fully expressed in who they are sexually and emotionally so they can have healthier, and more fulfilling relationships.

As a coach, he comes with a mixed bag of experience. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Space Science, from the Royal Military College as well as a decade long training and development in leadership in the military. He’s a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and certified hypnotherapist. And for the last 8 years, he’s taken innumerable workshops and training around meditation, sexuality, group therapy, and conscious relationships.

Ryan has interviewed over 100 sex and relationship experts, and currently has numerous articles, videos, and over 130 available podcast episodes to help men get the kind of sex life and relationship they deserve.

His website is www.theintimatelifestyle.com