Show Notes:
The Art of Gathering: How we meet and why it matters by Priya Parker 

The Essential Guide for Small Group Leaders by Bill Search
Why does a group get tired? 

•Leader begins to coast
•Meeting becomes routine
•Relationships hit a plateau
•Purpose is lost
#1 Leader Coasting 

Am I practicing “Generous Authority”? 

– [Priya Parker] 

“’Chill’ is selfishness disguised as kindness.” 

- Priya Parker 

Generous Authority Serves others by: 

1.Protecting group members 
2.Equalizing group members 
3.Inter-Connecting group members 

We practice Generous Authority by:
1.Practicing good MANNERS in the group
 2.Reminding all of the “RULES” 
3.Encourage “Sprout” Speeches not “Stump” Speeches 

Now What?
1. Re-affirm Covenant 

2. Have tough conversations
3. Re-up as the leader or get out 
4. Share Leadership 

#2 Meeting Routine 

“The room is doing 80% of the job” – Jerry Seinfeld 

Venue Matters 

1.The space should be a symbol of reason for meeting 

2.The space should bring out desired behaviors and discourage those you don’t 

3.Consider density 

Format Matters 

1.Mix it up
2.Curtail the dull parts 
3.Try different curriculum 

Now What? 
1. Rotate Hosting 

2. Share testimony
3. Serve together
4. Choose an unlikely meeting place 

#3 Relationships Plateaued 

Why does this happen? 

1.We stop being curious about others 
2.We decide how far we will go relationally
3.Potential conflict zones are avoided 
4.We don’t feel safe 

What can you do about it? 

1.Don’t avoid the awkward – embrace it 

2.Utilize GOOD ice-breakers 
3.Encourage people to share what no one in the group would guess/ know about them
4.Talk about the forbidden subjects of politics, sex, and religion 
5.Don’t stop conflict but guide it 
6.Navigate underlying conflicts 

Now What? 
1. Split by gender 

2. Subgroup for prayer
3. Retreat
4. Day trip, local restaurants, or local tourism 

#4 Lost Purpose 

“A good gathering purpose should be ‘disputable’”
 – The Art of Gathering by Parker 

Start by asking “WHY are we meeting?” 

1.First, ask the church leadership 
2.Reverse engineer current meeting 

and compare to stated goal 
3.Who is this for? 

Second ask “Why are WE meeting?” 

1.Is our goal the same as the leadership’s goal? 

2.Do we have a different goal? 

Third, re-state and re-affirm your purpose 

1.Discuss the purpose as a group 
2.Arrive at consensus
3.Everyone has to re-up 

That didn’t work. Now what? 

How to End Your Group 

(Page 87, Essential Guide for Small Group Leaders) 
1.Understand all groups come to a natural end 
2.Get input from group members
3.Ask everyone to make a personal plan 
4.Plan a final meeting and put it on the calendar
5.End the group in a prayer circle
6.Don’t forget to tell your pastor or small group coach that your group has ended 

Recommended Resources: 

Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
The Art of Gathering By Parker
Essential Guide for Small Group Leaders by Search Questions? 

What are younger generations looking for from churches, small groups, and leaders? What are some unique markers of this generation? What does it look like for them to deconstruct their faith? Join us for this conversation with Saddleback's Development Pastor Dave Alford, who has worked with younger generations for decades both in ministry and higher education to learn how we can better care for, minister to, and engage young adults in our lives, in our churches, on our staffs, and in our communities. 

Bio: 

Dave Alford Is Pastor of Leadership Development at Saddleback Church where his team oversees small groups, next steps, interns, and ministries to men, women, and singles. Dave’s background includes experience in business, pastoral ministry, and higher education.  Dave also writes, coaches, and speaks about leadership. Dave has a Bachelors degree from UC Davis, an MBA from USC, and a doctorate in Organizational Leadership from Pepperdine University. 

Show Notes: 

Contact Dave at  [email protected]

For this topic, Dave recommends: The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt (2018)

Join ALL ACCESS! Are you ready to unlock your ministry's potential? Our ALL ACCESS plan includes 

All for the price of $49 a month or $490 annually.

You even get half off in person events like the LOBBY and ACCELERATE

And to make it an even better deal, that one low price is a churchwide license. Everyone at your church is included. PLUS your WHOLE team gets half off the events. Meaning with this plan, your church can SAVE money and get your whole team trained and equipped.

Check it out today at https://smallgroupnetwork.com/allaccess ... your community, unlocked!

In each "Inside Saddleback" Group Talk Podcast episode we feature four unique segments: Saddleback Scoop, Network Nugget, Leadership Learning and the Trending Topic. In this exciting new episode, we cover the following insightful topics:

Saddleback Scoop: Year 2022 oof!
SGPP Vision—focus TRUST—Truth, resilience, Unity, Stewardship, Teachability rolled out
CL Launch—Retreat moved to April 8/9, but each campus rolled it out
You—moved to short term goals (100 days)
 
Network Nugget: Year 15 is a wrap
Lobby recap, celebrated our 15th year!
Podcasts 6800 downloads last month/250k since 2015
FB Group 13.4k
FB Page followers 116k
Twitter followers 4.5k
Articles 992
Website visitors 9k unique/month
SGN Ideas Book Link -  /ideasbook
Group Talk Podcast Network launched Link
G.R.O.U.P. Method Bible
ATTAIN (for small group leaders) launched, ALIGN and ACCELERATE! 

Leadership Learning: Yester Year
How are you learning? Read what God has done in History
0 to 1500 AD
Last 500 Years
Last 50 years
Current
All leaders are learners…research, ask those you respect, look into areas you need to stretch

Trending Topic: Year 2040? Remember when 2020 seemed so far off?
This year the Pew Research Center asked innovators, developers, business and policy leaders, researchers, and activists to consider what life will be like in 2025 in the wake of the pandemic and other crises. The broad—and nearly universal—view from more than 915 respondents may not seem all that surprising...

What do we get from this research?
The small group will need to embrace technology…think phone
Groups are the answer to diversity and helping
Great opportunity for groups to help in the social need areas
Volunteers available as work is flexible
Groups need to focus on tech advances to serve community
Now is the time to pray and plan for the future (Acts 13:2—"appoint Barnabas and Saul for the special work to which I have called them”) of small groups and how we communicate the good news about Jesus to an increasingly wired (tech) and suspicious world.

Shownotes:
http://www.smallgroupnetwork.com/IdeasBook

http://www.smallgroupnetwork.com/lobbywelcome 

https://www.smallgroupnetwork.com/events 

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/02/18/experts-say-the-new-normal-in-2025-will-be-far-more-tech-driven-presenting-more-big-challenges

ALIGN + ACCELERATE July 11-13, 2023

ALIGN is the small groups ministry essentials workshop. Perfect for people new to groups or who are considering launching groups at their church.

ACCELERATE is a 2 day intensive workshop for a small group point person who wants to develop an 18 month strategic plan for growth or revitalization.

Your team can attend ALIGN or ACCELERATE or get a discounted rate for attending both. For those attending all 3, lodging and lunches are included in the price! And don't forget, ALL ACCESS members always get 50% off all events.

We'll see you there! https://smallgroupnetwork.com/conferences/

When faced with an enviable challenge, how can we best use community to drive us to unity instead defaulting back to our standard of individuality?

Join us on this rewind episode we are going back to an impactful book Tribe:On Homecoming and Belonging  by award winning wartime journalist Sebastian Junger. In this episode  modernity is affecting community and how groups are in a prime position to fight for what are heart actually desires.  

More About Tommy Carreras:

Tommy never had any intention of being in ministry. Jesus found him at 17 and after 6 years figuring out what in the world that meant, he packed everything moved to Ventura CA with his wife, Lauren to work at Mission Church where they served for eight years. Earlier this year they moved to Tennessee to be close to family and work alongside Michael and Cathy Dye implementing and updating The Genesis Process (https://www.genesisprocess.org/). 

Tommy is also a contributor to the Small Group Network blog and podcast.

Tommy's Website → https://tommycarreras.com

Former Shows Referenced:

Extreme Ownership ►►https://grouptalksgn.libsyn.com/reading-lenz-extreme-ownership

Canoeing the Mountain ►►https://grouptalksgn.libsyn.com/reading-lenz-canoeing-the-mountain-w-kiersten-telzerow

Lighting Round References:

Mission's Change Workshop (Michael Dye's recovery content) 

► missionventura.com/changeworkshop

Unhindered: Aligning the Story of Your Heart

► https://www.amazon.com/Unhindered-Aligning-Story-Your-Heart/dp/1950718743

Show Notes:
The Art of Gathering: How we meet and why it matters by Priya Parker 

The Essential Guide for Small Group Leaders by Bill Search
Why does a group get tired? 

•Leader begins to coast
•Meeting becomes routine
•Relationships hit a plateau
•Purpose is lost
#1 Leader Coasting 

Am I practicing “Generous Authority”? 

– [Priya Parker] 

“’Chill’ is selfishness disguised as kindness.” 

- Priya Parker 

Generous Authority Serves others by: 

1.Protecting group members 
2.Equalizing group members 
3.Inter-Connecting group members 

We practice Generous Authority by:
1.Practicing good MANNERS in the group
 2.Reminding all of the “RULES” 
3.Encourage “Sprout” Speeches not “Stump” Speeches 

Now What?
1. Re-affirm Covenant 

2. Have tough conversations
3. Re-up as the leader or get out 
4. Share Leadership 

#2 Meeting Routine 

“The room is doing 80% of the job” – Jerry Seinfeld 

Venue Matters 

1.The space should be a symbol of reason for meeting 

2.The space should bring out desired behaviors and discourage those you don’t 

3.Consider density 

Format Matters 

1.Mix it up
2.Curtail the dull parts 
3.Try different curriculum 

Now What? 
1. Rotate Hosting 

2. Share testimony
3. Serve together
4. Choose an unlikely meeting place 

#3 Relationships Plateaued 

Why does this happen? 

1.We stop being curious about others 
2.We decide how far we will go relationally
3.Potential conflict zones are avoided 
4.We don’t feel safe 

What can you do about it? 

1.Don’t avoid the awkward – embrace it 

2.Utilize GOOD ice-breakers 
3.Encourage people to share what no one in the group would guess/ know about them
4.Talk about the forbidden subjects of politics, sex, and religion 
5.Don’t stop conflict but guide it 
6.Navigate underlying conflicts 

Now What? 
1. Split by gender 

2. Subgroup for prayer
3. Retreat
4. Day trip, local restaurants, or local tourism 

#4 Lost Purpose 

“A good gathering purpose should be ‘disputable’”
 – The Art of Gathering by Parker 

Start by asking “WHY are we meeting?” 

1.First, ask the church leadership 
2.Reverse engineer current meeting 

and compare to stated goal 
3.Who is this for? 

Second ask “Why are WE meeting?” 

1.Is our goal the same as the leadership’s goal? 

2.Do we have a different goal? 

Third, re-state and re-affirm your purpose 

1.Discuss the purpose as a group 
2.Arrive at consensus
3.Everyone has to re-up 

That didn’t work. Now what? 

How to End Your Group 

(Page 87, Essential Guide for Small Group Leaders) 
1.Understand all groups come to a natural end 
2.Get input from group members
3.Ask everyone to make a personal plan 
4.Plan a final meeting and put it on the calendar
5.End the group in a prayer circle
6.Don’t forget to tell your pastor or small group coach that your group has ended 

Recommended Resources: 

Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
The Art of Gathering By Parker
Essential Guide for Small Group Leaders by Search Questions? 

Guests: Rex & Andrea Minor 

Intro:  

How has your marriage been impacted by working at a church? How are you navigating the unique stressors of vocational ministry and its influence on your marriage? What are some ways we can build and sustain a healthy marriage that helps us thrive in ministry? In honor of the upcoming Valentine’s Day, this episode focuses on how you can maintain and grow a healthy marriage when you work in ministry. 

Bios: 

Rex Minor:  Over the last 30 years, Rex has been involved in various pastoral positions in the areas of discipleship, spiritual formation, small groups, support/recovery groups and as an executive pastor. He has served in senior leadership roles in large churches in several states. Rex is currently on staff at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA in the area of care and support ministries, 

Andrea Minor:  Andrea has been in vocational ministry for over 25 years in large churches in Illinois, Colorado and California. She has led in the areas of children’s ministries, women’s ministries, creative arts, weekend experiences, and also served as a small groups pastor. Currently she is a minister on the 301 team at Saddleback Church, helping others find and use their spiritual gifts in the life of the church.   

Rex and Andrea have been married for 40 lovely years and have three married grown children and four adorable grandchildren.

In each "Inside Saddleback" Group Talk Podcast episode we feature four unique segments: Saddleback Scoop, Network Nugget, Leadership Learning and the Trending Topic. In this exciting new episode, we cover the following insightful topics:

Saddleback Scoop: 3 Keys to Unity

1. Success is never a solo entity. You need Mentors, Models, Partners and friends
2. The older I get, it’s not so much the place, but the people I am doing life & ministry with.
3. Love always wins out. 

Key Scriptures on unity from Rick Warren's message you can take deeper:
YOUR LOVE
“My dear friends, we always have good reason to thank God for you, because your faith in God and your love for each other
keep growing all the time!” 2 Thes. 1:3

“ Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together.” Col. 3:14

YOUR FAITH
“We always thank God for you all ... for how you put your faith into practice...” 1 Thess. 1:2-3

YOUR GENEROUS SPIRIT
“They were extremely generous in their giving ...giving even more than they could afford.”

Network Nugget—Diversity. 

Diversity depends on your area, but also depends on proximity in these areas. 
1. You
2. Your small group & small group ministry
3. Your leadership
4. Your church

Leadership Learning—Civility

How to be civil? Try these 7 guidelines: 

1. Listen with your eyes (don’t roll your eyes) acknowledge their view
2. Sleep and hungry—know the right time
3. Social media news vs. Good news
4. Neither side may trivialize or dismiss the concerns of the other.
5. Neither side should define the “other” according to one single characteristic or identity marker.
6. Both sides should aim to help each other understand their own experience and perspective using a type of speech (words and tone) that can be heard by the other.
7. Both sides should accept the fundamental ground rule of life in a free society: the essence of

Liberty is the right to be different and to act wrongly in the eyes of others—you will need to agree to disagree. Look at the fundamental role of fear in situations of public conflict that we end up facing in our culture, politics, and law and can I add our small groups:
- The fear of being excluded from full participation in public discourse or public life;
- The fear that the other side is trying to coerce change of my side’s core identity
- The fear that the other side will use the power of law to force my side’s conformity with beliefs and practices that we find vile; and
- The fear of losing or betraying deeply valued relationships of love, either with the Divine or with people, or both. Fear is your greatest enemy in being civil. Presidential deranged syndrome. Focus on doing Jesus stuff
and BELIEVING Jesus has everything in control
Now these three things, are essential to understanding the Trending Topic

Trending Topic—Where the Groups needs to shine 
Why do we think laws are going to change people’s hearts?
Too often we get sucked into a battle that is a lose/lose because we forget, the church is the answer.
Look at the big topics at a super high level: abortion, sexual identity, racism and socialism. Laws don’t change hearts. 

Abortion 

- Health care
- Community around...will have baby
- Religious and married—can’t afford, don’t think they will have the support—they made one mistake, the church needs to help them not make another.

Racism:

- The most segregated hour in America is Sunday mornings. We like unity, struggle with diversity

Socialism
- Broken society
- Broken family systems
- Never had a parent, happy to look to the government (why not the church)

Sexual Identity
- Most church’s not an open conversation
- Don’t know how to love and not condone or approving (divorce)
- Preston Sprinkle

How to not get sucked into the wrong argument? Temptation—Lead us not into temptation - Sermon of the Mount.
1. Yes to God, get in the right place
2. Watch and pray, you will do dumb things
3. Put down roots, authentic community, God’s Word
4. Remember your purpose, why are you on this planet.

https://share.transistor.fm/s/09f048a7 - Your Small Group's Role Against Racism
https://share.transistor.fm/s/7e0d9d0f - Developing an Anti-Racist Culture in Your Small Group

Why are habits the best way to build consistency inside your groups? Join us for this month's episode of Reading Lenz as host Nick Lenzi is joined by Amber Walker to breakdown the New Times #1 Best Seller Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book has sold over 5 million copies, tune into to hear what you should know about this book and the takeaways we are bringing into our groups. 

Episode Highlights:

Atomic Habits Intro (8:35)

Difference between a habit and a goal (12:40)

Make it obvious (17:30)

Make it attractive (21:50)

Make it easy (28:40)

Make it satisfying (37:05)

Lightning Round (42:00)

More About Our Guest Amber Walker:

Amber is the Director of Engagement at The Bible Chapel in Pittsburgh, PA where she has been for 2 ½ years. Prior to moving home to Pittsburgh, she was working in New York City doing marketing for American Express. When she's not creating community, you can find her cheering on the Steelers and seeking out good eats around town. 

About the Host Nick Lenzi:

Nick has been helping people belong as the Community Director at Hoboken Grace Church in Hoboken, NJ since 2009. Prior to joining Hoboken Grace full time, he was an analyst on Wall Street at an investment bank. He is also the host of the show Reading Lenz which airs on the Group Talk Podcast on the 4th Wednesday of each month.

Do you "want to want to read the Bible?" Do you or your groups struggle to incorporate Bible reading as a regular habit? We talk with Tara-Leigh Cobble, host of the Bible Recap, a short digest of a daily bible reading. With millions of downloads, Tara Leigh has been enormously influential in helping people love to read and understand the Bible. She also believes that the Bible is best understood in the context of community, alongside one another in groups. So Tara-Leigh founded and leads D-Groups to deepen Biblical understanding, community, and accountability, and she shares how these discipleship groups can work in any church or community environment. 

Links:  

https://www.taraleighcobble.com/

https://www.thebiblerecap.com/

https://www.taraleighcobble.com/d-group

https://www.mydgroup.org/church