Shades of Strong® Podcast | From “Strong Black Woman” to Supported Black Woman

2025 had hands… but it also had layers. This 2025 reflection for Black women holds space for all of it — the joy, the grief, the growth, the tiredness that doesn’t always go away with sleep. In this season of goal-setting and high expectations, this episode offers something different: a pause.

Because before we move into “new year energy,” there’s power in naming what this year truly held — not just what you survived, but what shaped you.

In this deeply personal check-in, Shirl holds space for everything this year brought with it — the beauty, the heartbreak, the quiet resilience. It’s not a list of to-dos or a highlight reel. It’s a short conversation about what it means to survive a year that asked so much of you... and still show up with love in your heart.

Just truth, reflection, and an invitation to lay some things down before you step into 2026.

If you’ve been feeling unseen, unheld, or just plain tired, this episode with created with you in mind.

In this episode, Shirl reflects on:

Why both the hard and the healing matter

The emotional cost of being “the strong one” again

The quiet things you might still be carrying into the new year

Five questions to help you release what no longer serves you

A reminder that you don’t have to earn rest, support, or peace

Why We Needed This 2025 Reflection for Black Women

This isn’t about pretending 2025 was easy — it wasn’t. But this 2025 reflection for Black women is about telling the truth about what it asked of you and how you kept showing up. It's an honest, layered moment to release what you're not taking into 2026.

Resources to Support You:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

When it comes to holiday support for Black women, it often looks like doing everything for everyone else — with little space to be supported yourself.

In this short but powerful Support Snippet, Shirl offers a tender nudge to come back to yourself. To stop waiting until everything’s done to take a breath. And to remember that being supported isn’t something you have to earn.

If you’ve been running on fumes, putting everyone else first, or quietly holding a lot behind your smile — this one’s for you.

What You’ll Hear in This Holiday Support Episode for Black Women

Why this time of year feels especially heavy for strong Black women

A reframe on what support actually looks like during the holidays

A quiet invitation to make room for you — even if just for five minutes

Take This With You

Support doesn’t have to be big, expensive, or aesthetic.It can be five quiet minutes.It can be saying no.It can be choosing you without guilt.

Resources to Support You:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

When You're All You've Got

Shirl Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Rest isn’t something we earn — it’s something we deserve. In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by writer and self-care coach Tara Pringle Jefferson, author of Bloom How You Must: A Black Woman’s Guide to Self-Care and Generational Healing, for a deeply nourishing conversation on reclaiming rest and wellness as a Black woman.

Together, we unpack what it looks like to release the pressure to do it all and instead move toward wholeness — physically, emotionally, spiritually, and creatively. Tara shares the story of how she came to self-care through burnout, and how interviewing over 100 Black women helped her reimagine what support, joy, and spaciousness actually look like in our lives.

We’re talking generational exhaustion, self-care as legacy, and the difference between surviving and truly being well. This one will breathe life into you if you've been feeling overextended, under-supported, or just plain tired of being “strong.”

In this episode, we talk about:

How Tara’s doctor literally prescribed her rest

What Bloom How You Must really means (and why the title matters)

The quiet ways our mothers and grandmothers modeled self-care

Seven dimensions of wellness every Black woman should consider

Why community care and self-care are not either/or

How to start listening to your body again (and completing the stress cycle)

Stories from Tara’s interviews with 100 Black women

What reclaiming rest and wellness actually looks like in real life

If you’re ready to stop just functioning and start flourishing, this episode is for you.

Links and Resources Mentioned:

Purchase Tara's Book: Bloom How You Must

 Connect with Tara On Instagram. 

Join the Self-Care Suite

Support this work:

Loving what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend, rate the show, or tag me on social (@shadesofstrong) with your favorite moment.

Other Ways to Be Supported:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

Finding Support in the Pause

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl  Hubbard is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

We talk a lot about what it means to be a good friend. But what happens when the support we’re giving doesn’t match what the other person actually needs?

In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by best friends Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson for a heartfelt, unfiltered conversation about support in Black female friendships. From the challenges of being the “strong one” in your circle to the quiet grief of friendship breakups, this is a layered conversation about what it really means to show up — and be shown up for.

Both Alyson and Mia took the Support Languages™ quiz and got Mindful Care — the language of intentional check-ins and nurturing presence. We explore how that plays out in real life, especially when friendships shift, stretch, or fall apart.

Whether you’ve ever felt unseen in your friendships, questioned if you're giving too much, or struggled to receive the love you so easily give… this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why support can still miss the mark, even with good intentions

What Mindful Care looks like in real friendships

The grief and growth that come with friendship breakups

The role of communication, boundaries, and emotional capacity

Why knowing your friend’s Support Language matters more than you think

And what it looks like to be fully seen — and still fully loved

Connect with Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson

 Follow Alyson and Mia’s podcast, Navigating Sisterhood, on YouTube

 Connect with Alyson  and Mia on Instagram. 

Support this work:

Loving what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend, rate the show, or tag me on social (@shadesofstrong) with your favorite moment.

Other Ways to Be Supported:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

Finding Support in the Pause

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

At 56 years old, I’m walking into a Black woman’s dream I’ve carried for decades — sitting in New York, preparing to speak with agents and an editor from one of the Big Five publishing houses… about my book.

This moment didn’t come fast, but it came faithfully.And in this short, heartfelt episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to finally say yes to the calling — after years of wrestling, resisting, and wondering if it was too late.

Because this isn’t just about publishing a book.It’s about legacy.It’s about healing.It’s about breaking patterns for every Black woman who’s ever whispered, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.”

So if you’ve ever questioned the timing of your dream…If you’ve ever felt like you missed your moment…This episode is a gentle reminder that what’s for you is still for you.It may be delayed — but it is never denied.

This is a Black woman’s dream.Delayed, yes.But still divine.

Other Ways to Be Supported:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

Finding Support in the Pause

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

We say it all the time — check on your strong friend — but do we really know what that means?

In this Support Snippet, Shirl goes deeper than the surface-level reminder and speaks directly to what it looks like when strong Black women go quiet. When the one who always holds everyone else down suddenly pulls back. When the “I’m fine” doesn’t really mean fine anymore.

If you’re the strong one, or you love someone who is, this short but powerful episode will help you think differently about how support shows up, who it’s for, and what’s hiding in the silence after we stop over-functioning.

Because here’s the truth:

The strong friend gets tired too.

And when she stops showing up the way she always has — it’s not drama.

It’s a signal.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

What it really means to check on your strong friend

Why many strong Black women feel invisible when they stop doing

The emotional weight of being “the dependable one”

How silence can signal the need for support

A gentle reminder that strong women deserve to be held too

Whether you’ve been the strong friend, ignored the strong friend, or realized that you are the strong friend… this conversation is for you.

Because shifting from being a strong Black woman to being a supported Black woman?That’s the real work.And it starts with noticing.

Need space to unpack your own strong friend fatigue?

Shirl is holding space for Black women who are ready to rest, reflect, and receive support without guilt.Book a 1:1 Support Session HERE.

Other Ways to Be Supported:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

Finding Support in the Pause

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Are you tired of being the strong one? The one everyone depends on but rarely checks in with? That's what we're getting into today... ewhat happens after you finally lay that weight down — when you stop over-functioning, stop fixing, stop pretending you’re okay... and the phone stops ringing.

What happens when you finally stop?When you set the boundary? When you pause the all the doing?

It’s quiet. But instead of peace, you’re sitting in discomfort. Maybe even grief.Because what shows up after the pause — that silence, that stillness — can feel personal.

In this episode, I’m talking about the uncomfortable part of rest.The identity crisis that shows up when you’re no longer being needed every day.And the emotional shift that happens when you’ve built your worth on being dependable — and now you’re not sure who you are without it.

If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being the strong one,” this episode will hit home. I'm diving into what it feels like to stop over-functioning, to rest, and to wrestle with who you are when being needed isn’t your identity anymore.

If You’re Tired of Being the Strong One, Here’s What You’ll Hear:

Why rest can feel like grief when your identity was built around being needed

What it really feels like to stop over-functioning

The weight of being invisible when you stop doing everything

What the “but then what?” moment reveals about your support needs

Why the pause is not failure — it’s the beginning of your becoming

If you’ve been asking yourself:

Who am I if I’m not the strong one anymore?

Why do I feel so off when I finally rest?

What if nobody notices I’ve stopped showing up?

This episode is for you.

And  if you’re sitting in that “but then what?” space — and it feels like too much to carry alone, let me hold space for you in a 1:1 Support Session. 

These sessions aren’t about fixing. They’re about slowing down and making room for the version of you who’s ready to be held too. Book Your Support Session HERE .

Other Ways to Be Supported:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

Finding Support in the Pause

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else Does

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

Sometimes the support we need doesn’t come with a loud arrival or a clear answer. Sometimes, it shows up in the in-between. The pause. The waiting. The quiet moments where nothing feels certain — but you’re still held.

In today’s reflection, we explore what support can look like when you don’t have the words yet. When things feel unclear. When you’re sitting in the fog, trying not to force clarity. This is about honoring the space between prayers and answers, effort and outcome. The pause is not a void. It’s a form of support too.

Whether you're resting, questioning, or just catching your breath, you’re not alone in that pause. This episode holds space for the Black woman who’s doing her best to trust what she can’t yet see — and still deserves to be supported right now.

Listen in and share this with someone who needs to know she doesn’t have to be “on” all the time to be worthy of support.

Resources to Support You:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

When You're All You've Got

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

You’ve put down strong. You’ve tried the self-care Sundays, the soft life rituals, the silence and the scented candles. But somehow, you still feel like you’re holding it all by yourself.

In this episode of Shades of Strong, Shirl unpacks why self-care and softness — while nourishing — were never meant to replace real support. She breaks down the difference between comfort and being held, and shares why so many Black women are left feeling unsupported even while doing all the “right” things to care for themselves.

You’ll hear:

Why soft life vibes can feel good, but still leave you depleted

The pacifier metaphor that will shift how you see comfort vs. support

How Support Languages offer a deeper way to receive the care you actually need

What happens when we grieve the strong Black woman identity but don’t replace it with anything real

And how we can honor our mothers and grandmothers by choosing differently

This is a loving call-in — not to abandon softness, but to go deeper than what looks good on the surface. If you’ve ever felt like self-care just wasn’t cutting it anymore, this conversation is for you.

Resources to Support You:

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well

When You're All You've Got

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.

This week on Shades of Strong, we’re going all the way in. I'm sitting down with Dr. Cecily Moore for a raw, layered conversation about what it really costs to carry the “strong Black woman” narrative — and what it actually takes to start living well, for real.

Dr. Cecily brings her lived experience, research, and wisdom to the table as we talk about the exhaustion, the generational weight, and how so many of us are ready to put it all down. Together, we unpack:

What the “strong Black woman” narrative steals from us, and why so many are finally saying, “I don’t want to do it like this anymore.”

How wellness for Black women is not just individual, but communal — when a Black woman is well, everybody connected to her benefits.

The emotional and cultural impact of being expected to serve, sacrifice, and hold it together — even when you’re falling apart on the inside.

Why self-advocacy, boundaries, and true support are non-negotiable for our healing (and what it actually looks like in everyday life).

The church, the workplace, the family — where the strong Black woman myth keeps showing up, and how we’re learning to question it.

How unlearning strength-as-sacrifice is an act of resistance and the beginning of generational healing.

You’ll also hear personal stories — from both Dr. Cecily and myself— about what it feels like to try to be “everything to everybody,” the grief that comes with letting that go, and the joy that’s possible on the other side.

If you’re a Black woman who’s ever felt like your well-being is always last on the list, this one is for you. And if you care about Black women, it’s for you too.

About Dr. Cecily Moore

Dr. Cecily Moore helps therapists, counselors, and helping professionals unlearn the Strong Black Woman narrative so they can move from survival mode into sustainable wellness. She’s a licensed therapist, educator, researcher, and the creator of the Reappropriate, Redefine, Recover™ framework — guiding Black women toward nervous system healing, spaciousness, and self-reclamation. Cecily is a military wife, a mom of two, and she’s never met a Strong Black Woman she couldn’t help begin the journey of unlearning that sh*t. Connect with Dr. Cecily Moore here.

Timestamps – What You’ll Hear and When:

00:00 – Intro & Why This Conversation Matters

06:20 – Dr. Cecily’s Story: Postpartum Depression and the Cost of Strength

10:25 – Generational Strength: Grandma, Mama, and Us

15:50 – Research, Lived Experience, and the Grief of Unlearning "Strong"

17:20 – The Support Language Behind the Therapist Chair

21:31 – The Pacifier Metaphor: Replacing "Strong" with Support

24:54 – Watching Her Learn to Rest: Dr. Cecily’s Mom and the Reclamation of Joy

28:06 – Church, Faith, and the Conditioning of "Strong"

36:18 – When Strength Is Rooted in Fear: Mothering Black Boys

41:15 – Receiving as a Skill: Support Languages and Accessibility

49:00 – Final Words: Unlearning "Strong" as a Mental Health Intervention

Resources to Support You:

Download Cecily’s Free Audio + Mindset guide: Unlearn That Sh*t

Schedule a 1:1 Support Session

Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?"

Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.

Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week

Let’s Stay Connected:

Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform

 Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one

 Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space

Join Shades of Strong on Substack  for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic

Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted

Be a Guest on the Show

www.shadesofstrong.com

Related Episodes

What Ruth and Boaz Taught Me (That the Church Never Did)

When You're All You've Got

When Everything Feels Heavy

Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.